Life

I have asked the question lately to several friends and family that are educators, “what is normal?” And the answers that I have received by and large vary from the obvious to the not so obvious.

Just something to consider and think about. But as you observe children today, think about the child and what they go through. Think about the child and what their environment is like. And ask yourself, what is normal.

Because what is normal to you or I, might not be normal to someone else. So, before passing judgement on a situation, think about what is normal and how it might or might not relate to the child in question. And before being stupid and making a comment, stop and think.

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I usually pride myself with my ability to go on little sleep, but I think that it has finally caught up with me, as I am truly exhausted. I am run down and tired. I have no energy, but yet I have to do so much to do today.

Today, as I stare out and look at the snow and the amount of work that needs to be done in the house, I would rather go sit by the fire, enjoy a glass of wine and just relax & take a nap, but I don’t see that as an option. So, here is my day:

  1. Christmas Trees – yes, we have 2 live trees, undecorate and get ready for removal from the house tomorrow.
  2. Dishes – I did a light meal last night and should be almost done with dishes for the day.
  3. Unclutter the kitchen – I really don’t have to per say unclutter the kitchen, but I’ve just got a new cookware set, so I need to get rid of stuff that I don’t need anymore. I would love to reorganize some cabinets, but I don’t foresee that happening this weekend.
  4. Laundry – With 2 boys, this is an every challenging thing to stay on top of. But, I’ve come up with a system, that thus far has worked pretty well. I wash the boys clothes and mine and my wife takes care of hers.
  5. Cook – Even though we have a short week at home, I still need to meal prep for the week. This both saves time and a lot of money and it helps me stay focus on my weight loss.
  6. General Cleaning – Just the normal stuff, like floors, bathrooms and just normal straightening up.

So there is a lot to do today and even though, I would give anything to sit and do nothing, it just isn’t feasible. But, if I can break things up into tiny chores, then rest, that might be the answer? Oh and the kids are dying to go and play outside in the snow. So here is to another weekend. Exhausted? Yeah and looking at the list of things to do today isn’t making that exhaustion go away either.

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As a kid, I loved my school break, I mean, loved it! As a parent, I truly hate my kids school break. Selfishly of course, but it has totally messed their schedules up. And for their teachers, they need the break, so I get it.

I have noticed a big difference with Boy B, both before their break and now after and it has been a struggle getting him back on track. Now, that being said, there are other factors, but my point is that the 2 week break has set him back. It has been harder for him to focus and to adjust to the routine of going to school as well. We did keep them on the same bed time schedule while they were out of school as well.

We have had to do a lot of things to ensure that his schedule is on track and spending time, calming him down if his schedule changes.  These are all things that we have to be very in tone with him and what his needs are. Does this add a layer of stress or complexity to our lives? A little. But what it does, in my opinion, is make us better parents.

So today, even though there is no school, we are keeping his lunch schedule the exact same as it would be at school. And we are also breaking his day up into the same intervals that it would be if he were at school. It also helps me see the where the triggers are in his stress levels and helps me adjust his day as needed. I know that school break is important for both the teachers and the students, but does it have to be a 2 week period?

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Happy New Years! Welcome to 2017, the year of something.

The great thing about New Years is that it is a restart, a new beginning. Out with the old, in with the new. But, unlike many, I have really decided to have resolutions that were more manageable, which in my humble opinion, is why so many quite their resolutions within the first 3 months of a new year.

So here goes:

  1. Be a better father and husband – Spend more Quality time and Quantity of time with my kids and my wife. Once a month, we take a family day and go somewhere for the day. And with that, once a month, my wife and I have a date night/afternoon lunch. I’ve already talked with our babysitter and she is giving me a list of dates for the first 6 months of the year.
  2. Continue to reduce our family debt – This is and will be a primary focus for the year(s) to come. At our current position, we have done a solid job with both eliminating debt and also not adding any additional debt. There have been factors that have slowed down our progress, but I’m hoping that we will be able to continue our progress and with a sizable tax return, that we’ll be able to dwindle down our debt. The goal is to get all of our debt, to include my wife’s van and student loan down in the next 24 months. The other part of that, is to be able to start saving for a down payment, as I’ll need a new Jeep in the next year, as I’m already riding on borrowed time with it.
  3. Weight Loss – Only those that don’t need to lose weight, ever put this one down. So yes, I need to lose weight. And with that, I just had my physical for 2016 for work and was down 5 lbs from the previous year. That being said, it was a start, but I’m ready to do more. I’m really ready to drop this weight and that will be a little of a challenge as with a bad knee, it knocks out running and some of the things that I would normally like to do to  knock the weight out. But, doesn’t mean that I can not work on eating better and cut out alcohol. The cutting out alcohol will also help reduce debt too, so a win win.

So as we wind down our New Years holiday and take some time to reflect, I wish you and your families the best new years possible. So far for us, we have only had 1 Urgent Care trip visit in 2017 and yes, we are only at the 2nd day of the year. So from my family to yours, Happy New Years!

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I started the past a few days ago and I guess that I forgot to hit Publish! Which is really a key thing.
So, everyone is doing the Elf on The Shelf and honestly, for the last two years, the boys could have cared less. They just didn’t get into it, maybe for a day or two, but that was it. But this year, they are all about their Elf Chippy.

Like most parents, it is a challenge to think of new ways or places to put Chippy each night. But the reality of it is really simple, the boys are into it this year and it is keeping the more in line with their behavior. The boys missed behaved the other day and Chippy didn’t come back the next day from the North Pole and you would have thought their favorite toy had been trashed.

It is hard to keep up with doing this every night, but it is also a lot of fun to see the boys reactions when they see him or when they tell him good night. There is something very magical about Christmas, especially with kids. And one day, that magic will begin to fade, but today, right now and in this very moment, Christmas is real and it is provides the boys with hope for the arrival of Santa and the hope of new toys.

We have already started to go through certain toys and getting those out of the house and to children that are less fortunate in anticipation of new toys that will be filling the house very soon. So tonight, as we think about where Chippy will be flying off to next, we take a moment to watch the excitement of the boys faces as they look through the house until they find him.

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Post Thanksgiving and we survived. This was the first time that we had ever hosted Thanksgiving for our family and I have to say, it all went off without any problems.

The boys did well throughout the day and didn’t really require a lot of attention and they even helped us get things ready. The boys all in all had a great day and it seems to have come and gone really quickly. And now that I’m working on cleaning up dishes and putting away chairs, I thought that I would just sit and rest for a minute.

Today, I am thankful for healthy little boys, who everyday seem to amaze me just a little bit more with their continue growth, but physically but more importantly mentally and personality wise. I am truly blessed to have two really cool kids, who in their own right, do really amazing things. Today, I am thankful that we have live in a great country, that has great military that protects our freedoms, both domestically and afar.

This post Thanksgiving, I’m grateful for so many things, to include a few minutes to type this up as the boys are downstairs playing. And now, we take today to regroup and rest and tomorrow, we head out to pick out two Christmas trees.

 

 

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So I am going to keep this as non political as possible, because as a parent, it is my job to provide tools for my kids, but not to deter their thought process in how they plan on voting as they grow up. As with any election, this is the most important of our current time. And I don’t say this lightly, as I much love politics, this election really could shape some factors of our country for years. The Supreme Court makeup alone, is going to be leveraged off of this election.

Why do I mention any of this? Really, it is for 1 reason, I’m really hoping to take my kids with me on Saturday to vote and this will be the first chance that I can really introduce them to voting. Again, if they ask specifically who and why I vote the way that I do, I’ll share with them. If not, then I will use this as a chance to introduce the overview of Government and also the purpose of checks and balances of our government system.

And I have thought long and hard about how I would talk to my sons about politics and it is hard. On one hand, I want to tell them my thoughts and opinions and then on the other, which is really the best approach, I want to just give them the facts and let them decide their own political views. And that is the way that I was raised. My parents gave me facts and allowed me to make my own decisions and as a result, I am the only registered (not say how my family votes) Republican on both sides of my family. I want to make sure that my boys know and understand how the government works. Respect and appreciate those, regardless of whether they agree with the politicians or not, but they respect that they have run for office, were elected and it is our hope that they make the best decision for this country.

So as I look at the current make up of this years election. I have a strong idea on how this is going to play out and I’m ok with that. I am not a fan of either of candidate, let’s make that clear. I also feel that 1 candidate would do less harm than the other, and I’m not saying that I am voting for either of the candidates. But I am focused on the state, city and county elections at this point.

My hope though this Saturday, is that my kids at an early age, see that I am doing my civic duty in voting and that they see that I’m trying to make a difference.

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One week later and I’m beyond grateful for the decision that I made when I finally said, I QUIT!

So, one week later and I have had 2 glasses of Red Wine in 7 days. That would be 1 night for me. Has it been hard, not really? I’ve substituted alcohol with water, a lot of water. About 110 oz to be exact. And that is over 1/2 my body weight, but not by much. And yes, there are articles that talk specifically to how much water that you should be drinking, which can be found here.

What other changes have I noticed in week 1? Well, not that much I guess? I didn’t spend any money at the liquor store, so that is 1 BIG difference, oh and I have 4 six packs in storage that I had purchased weeks ago, so I don’t need to go to the store for a while. So, saving money is a nice thing and I’m planning on taking what I would have spent this week at the liquor store and putting that money towards paying off debt.

Another change, I’m down 3 lbs this week! Sure, I’m peeing a lot, I mean, A LOT! But, I’m staying hydrated and I’m not drinking alcohol. So, that is yet another positive thing that I’ve noticed. And, I’m sleeping a lot better and more soundly. Granted, I wake up early anyway, but I feel more a wake when I first getup now.  I think Edwin McCain said it best in his song, Sober:

I’m a little worried, nothing’s spinning
I can walk a steady line
This unusual condition
Wasn’t by design

Sorry, I’m a little sober
In the morning I’ll be nursing and cursing
My clarity hangover

So, one week later and I’m so glad that I’ve made this decision. For so many reasons, both the obvious and those that aren’t, I’m glad that I had a clarity hangover this morning.

More to come…..

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Ok, I quit is a strong phrase, maybe it should be I am making a change?

Regardless, it is time to make some changes in my life and the first is to cut out alcohol. And I’m making the change for a many and one reasons, and these are in no particular order:

  • Health reasons – weight, sleep better, liver needs a break, etc.
  • Cost – I drink good wine and expensive craft beer
  • Habit forming – I didn’t like that I have started walking in and grabbing a beer.
  • I want to do everything that I can to be here for as long as I can for my kids
  • And I didn’t like who it was making me.

Now, for the record, I was not drinking to excess, but I was having more than I should. And I didn’t like the fact that it was making me sluggish and I wasn’t just having one in a sitting. So, it is time.

So today, instead of drinking 2 – 3 beers tonight, I’ll have 1. And then, I’ll goto 1 every other day. And just work it down. Does that mean that I will quit drinking beer and wine forever? No, I love to cook with both and I really do love the taste of a good glass of wine or a cold beer. But for today, today I need this. Today, I need to share with others and need to have someone that will help me stay focused on this and today, I quit. Today, I start a new day and  a new direction with a new focus. And as a bonus, I should be able to pocket about $200 + a month that was being spent on alcohol and shift that to paying down debt faster too!

So better heath, saving money, being a better dad all just seem to make this decision such a no brainer.

Today, I QUIT!

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Growing up in North Carolina, and granted, we are talking a long time ago, never did we practice a lock down drill in school? We practiced a lot of other drills, tornado drills and yes, even back when I was really young, we did practice for bombs. But not lock down drills.

I really hate that my kids will grow up in a society where they have to practice these things. They have to know where safe rooms are in their house or in their classes. I hate that they have to be on guard for others. And as I was talking about the lock down drill with my sons, they were telling me all the scenarios that could happen as to why they would need to go into hiding at school.

And it was at that moment, for the very first time, I thought about pulling my kids out and home schooling them. The idea of the boys having to hide because of a threat at the school is mind blowing. And no, I’m not going to even go down the road on gun violence, because it is such a polarizing discussion that it wouldn’t be beneficial. But it is scary as a parent to even think of those situations and yet, we all remember Sandy Hook.

I don’t know where in our society that we took a wrong turn? I don’t know what has happened, but as a parent, it is scary as hell! It is scary to think that my sons, the loves of my life, could be put in danger because they are in a school, which is supposed to be a safe environment.

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