Life

As many people start the 2012, New Years Resolutions are being made and most will be stopped by March, as mine have in years past. I hope that by publishing my resolutions, I can keep track of them easier and focus on them more. So here goes:

1) Spend more time with my boys
2) Save more money – both for the boys College but for the family & I am hoping that by cutting down on eating out, using more coupons and the boys switching from formula to milk in a few months, that this will be an achievable goal.
3) Exercise more – I would like to start doing 2 – 3 days a week of cardio, which should be doable since there is a 1 mile walking path at work.
4) Pay down debt – Pay down at least 3 credit cards and finish paying off 1 college loan for my wife.

So, as we start the new year, let’s hope that I am able to do better this year than in previous with my 2012 New Years Resolutions.

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After a great week of Christmas, please take a moment to reflect on the 2011 year and both the good and use that as your foundation to 2012. So many times, people focus so much on the negative, that they look past the good things that are happening around them. So, out with 2011 and in with 2012. So what are you going to do different this year? How will this be the best year of your life?

For me, I have a list of goals that I would like to complete, which I will share tomorrow, but I want to be grateful and live for today. I want to live like today were my last, because if something where to happen to me today, I would want all of my family and especially my boys to know how much I love them.

So make 2012 the best year of your life, and from my family to yours, Happy New Year!

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My wife and I had been married for 3 years when we found out that we were expecting our little boys. Now going on year 4 of our marriage, we have two little boys, how is our life going to change? What new traditions will we start together as a family of 4 now?

So here is what we have started thus far for our new traditions:
1) Saturday morning breakfast – every Saturday morning, the boys and I get up at 6am, I feed them a bottle and we come downstairs and watch the news together.
2) At our church, which is a Methodist church, we observe communion once a month. Even though we take the boys to the nursery during the service, we do get them and take them to the front of the church for communion. For my wife and I, communion is a very sacred thing and we want our boys to experience that with us, as a family. The boys are too young obviously to partake in communion, but the ministers pray over them as we proceed to take communion.
3) My wife and I alternate the feedings with the boys. Most week nights, we both feed the boys at 6am and at 7pm and then obviously on the weekends, we have them all day, but we alternate feeding the boys each night, so tonight I get one and then the next night, I would feed the other baby. And whoever we feed, we put down to sleep that night.

My wife and I have tried to combine some of the traditions that we had already established and now we are creating new traditions with the boys.

What traditions have you started?

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To help prepare our two boys for their future, we setup a savings account for them at our credit union. To start off, we put $25 a month, per child to open the accounts, but have tried to maintain depositing another $50 per child a month. We have also been able to add about another $200 per due to gifts from their christening at church. This year, instead of gifts from both my grandparents and also my wife’s grandparents, they will be giving them money for Christmas to help with our long term savings goals for the boys.

A few things to consider:
1) Setting up an account at your local credit union. The benefits that I found were: no monthly fees, higher interest rates, and they provide a monthly newsletter, so when the boys get older, they will be able to color the handouts and also learn more about saving money.
2) Ask parents/grandparents for money for your children than a gift, esp. when the children are young. Why get a toy that will have a short life span, when money can grow in interest over the years.
3) You are teaching your children a valuable lesson about money and saving money. Our goal is $50 a month per child, not factoring in interest, gifts from others, etc. So by the time the boys are 18, that will be a nice starting point for the boys.

Hope these help.

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As I’ve stated previously, we are on a budget this year and for years to come. Our financial goals have changed and we have to change with them. We now are trying to pay down debt and save for the boys future, so our view of Christmas shopping had to change as well.  In a day in time where our society is over spending, we decided to take a different approach.

With only 10 days away from Christmas, my wife and I decided that this year we are giving photos of the boys to our immediate family. To save money, we took the photos, had them printed for about $0.10 a piece and then bought frames, which were on sale. Then for the rest of our friends and family, we decided to have people over for dinner one weekend. As we get older, the need to receive a gift lessens and the need to be with friends and family increases.

With this being our boys first Christmas, we have decided to get them a few small things, as we have found out that their grandparents will be getting them the more expensive toys. I think that it is more important to spend less on them this year, when they don’t really understand what Christmas is yet.

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Just a quick thought, but so often I hear people talk about living for the weekends and I realized, that I too live for the weekends, but not for the same reasons. I am fortunate to have bosses that encourage a work life balance and provide and environment that is family oriented, but because I only get to see the boys for an hour or two a day, on the weekend I get them all day.  I get to play with them in the floor and get them laughing at silly things. Or hold them when they cry. Or read to them before they take a nap.

So dads, do you live your life for the weekends too?

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On the way to work today the lady in front of me slammed on her brakes, causing me to rear end her. Many thoughts have since gone through my mind since the accident, but the one that comes to be mind is grateful:
1) I am grateful that the boys were not with me. Even though it was a minor fender bender,  I would rather them not be in a car accident;
2) I am grateful that we have great insurance with USAA. I can’t image being with another insurance provider.
3) I am grateful that no one was hurt.

So, even in dealing with this inconvenience, both from a time and more importantly financially stand point, I am grateful.

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I always remember hearing how hard it was to be a dad and raising 1 child, but I could not image raising two. The stress. Life changes. Raising my sons to be good boys and ultimately good men.

The Stress – Obviously the financial side immediately popped into my mind, but could I love two equally? What would they be like? Would they have their own personalities?

Life Changes – Would I still be able to hang out with my friends? Would my wife and I be able to travel as we wanted? Work and a work life balance?

Raising the boys – Would I be able to be a good example, so that the boys would be good contributors to society?

I don’t know of any guy that is truly 100% ready to be a dad. But the one thing that I have learned, is that I can love my boys equally, they are both unique and I love that about them. My job has provided me with the flexibility to have a great work/life balance. My wife and I have traveled now twice with the boys and we survived. I have made it a point to see friends for dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings once a week for wings and beer.

Life has changed. But life has changed for the better and I think that I’m doing a pretty good job of not only being a dad, but building the foundation of raising of good young men.

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For me, it was a no brainier on who was going to be the boys Godfather.  But, to be fair, my wife and I sat down and when I asked the simple question, “if something were to happen to me tomorrow, who would be there in a minute, if you called and needed help?” And when she answered the same person that I had in my mind, we just knew. But, in saying that, selecting a Godparent is an important thing and shouldn’t be taken lightly. And for us, we only selected a Godfather and that was only because we couldn’t decide on a Godmother.

The things that my wife and I discussed were:
1) Who would be there for the boys and raise them the way that we would?
2) Who would raise them in a way that they would know right from wrong, be raised in a Christian home and
3) Who would love these two boys as their own

Hope this helps.

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I’ll never forget sitting in the Dr’s office and seeing the ultrasound and how quickly we went from a family of 2 to 4 in just a matter of seconds. My mind raced and jumped all over the place and the only thing that I could say was “Holy Crap” and it wasn’t crap that ended up coming out of my mouth. Everyone in the room laughed. But my mind was all over the place.

 

Could we afford this?
Was I ready to be a dad, let alone, a dad to two kids?
How was our world going to change?

 

Over the course of the next few days/weeks, I’ll touch on each of these topics, along with many more. I’ll share some of our personal experiences and products that we have used over the last 7 months and I hope that some of our experiences can help others.

So, after my mind raced around and the light came on and the Dr. handed me the printoffs of the two babies from the ultrasound, I just smiled and knew that things would be ok.

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