Life

I would like to start this post that I am NOT a Baltimore Orioles fan. But, I would like to say, that for a few moments, I was able to smile as they did the right thing.

Baltimore County Police Officer Jason Schneider was shot in the line of duty last week and he left behind a family and more importantly, a young son.  The Baltimore Orioles stepped up this week and Officer Schneider’s son threw out the first pitch and got to spend a few moments with some of the Orioles players.  But what the Orioles really did, was give this young boy a few minutes/hours to be a kid again. They did the right thing. The Orioles allowed a young boy, that had to be grieving and confused, the chance to forget about his life and the fact that he just lost his dad.

In life, we are faced with difficulties and we are faced with struggles. But, we also have to do the right thing and I give the Orioles a lot of credit, they gave this young boy memories that will last a life time and a chance to be a kid again.

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Last night before bed, the boys and I sat down and read Curious George’s First Day of School.  The boys seemed really excited as we read and the entire time all I could think about was the boys going to preschool today.

As I woke up this morning, sipping my morning coffee, it hit me, today is the first day of school for the boys. Where did the last 2 1/2 years go?  My mind wondered, would they cry when my wife dropped them off?
Would there be reservations on their part going into a strange place?  Would they be ok?

I looked at my calendar for the day to figure out where I would be when my wife was dropping them off. Was she going to call saying that the boys were upset and didn’t want to go inside? Was she going to call upset, because she too realized where had the time gone?  So this morning, before I left, I gave both boys a kiss goodbye and told them to have fun today at school. And as Baby A walked over to hug me, I just held him.  I whispered in his ear to look after his little brother today and be nice to the other kids and to make some new friends today. He giggled, kissed me on the check and said “I love you daddy.” And then he was off to play.

Well, as I suspected, my phone rang at 10:05 this morning, in the middle of my 1st meeting of the day. I could tell by the way my wife said hello, that she had been crying. But I could also tell how happy she was, because Baby B jumped out of the car and said “Goodbye Mommy” and took the hand of his new teacher. Baby B waved and took the hand of of the Director of the preschool.  And as we quickly talked, my wife and I talked about how well the boys handle new challenges, maybe sometimes better than we do. They adapt quickly to new things, they have had to their entire lives.

So as I sit here at work, wondering how the boys are doing at their first day of school. I wonder how they are playing with others. I wonder how their morning was. I wonder how they did at story time. I wonder.
I wonder how did my little boys, have their first day of school today?

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Vacation is quickly approaching and I can not wait.  Every year we look forward to a family vacation and every year, it doesn’t seem like it is coming fast enough.

Well, it is almost that time. In fact, it is so close, that my wife and I are already talking about packing, what food we need to take, what we are going to cook, etc.

The boys have no clue that vacation is coming up. They have no idea that for 7 days, they will be playing on the beach. They have no idea that they are going to be able to run and play in the ocean.
They have no idea that they are going to see family, cousins, grandparents, etc.

But for my wife and I, it is a chance to unwind. Vacation is something that we look forward to every year. But not in the same way we once did. Now, we look forward to vacation for the quality family time, with no cell phones, computers/internet, or just basic struggles of life.

Vacation is going to be a great time, to relax and recharge.

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It always seems to happen when you least expect it, because families are not able to really plan for a rainy day fund. And lord knows, if they have to replace a car, it makes it even harder.
Well, we are now in that situation. My wife’s SUV is done. The transmission is slipping and the cost to replace the transmission doesn’t warrant putting the money back into it, as the return wouldn’t pay off.
So, we are bitting the bullet and have been looking at, lord help me, mini vans.

I have to state for the record that I’m an SUV guy. I like them, the way that they drive, the storage, etc. I realize that a mini van makes sense with kids, but let’s be honest, most guys would chose an SUV any day over a mini van. I’ve spent a lot of time this week emailing car salesmen about a new car and talking pricing, mileage, safety, etc.  And I think that I’ve narrowed the search down to two mini vans.  They are literally the same, except some features and one has 19,000 more miles than the other. The price is also obviously higher for the lower mileage mini van too. But, I learning that I have to not have much say in the car, other than how much we can spend.

And at the end of the day, it is my wife’s mini van, and she will be the one driving it the most and really the most important thing is that she and the boys are safe.

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Life can be sometimes you have to laugh about what is going on, because it is really just too embarrassing to cry in public.  Well, today was one of those days for me. Yesterday morning, after just getting settled into work, I get a call from my wife, her SUV has broken down.  So, I pack up and head back down the road, and this was happening while AAA was taking her SUV to the mechanic.

Well, today I got the call, the call that I was hoping that would not becoming in. My family mechanic said the words “The transmission is shot”. Well crap was my reply and then I started laughing. It wasn’t funny at all, but sometimes you have to laugh, because I didn’t want to start crying in front of co-workers when he told me that it would be close to $5,000 to repair her SUV.
I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I could not believe that I was having this conversation. I was literally going to make the final payment on the SUV next week.

But the next few things almost brought me to tears. I called my father in law about borrowing his truck, he offered to rent us a car. I called my mom, she offered to drive 5 hours to come and stay with the boys so that my wife and I could go and look at cars. And then my Godfather sent me a text and it read “how much money do you need?”

What is love? When those closest to you offer you everything to help you out, without you even having to say a word. Because as each one of those three important people in my life made their offers, I teared up.  I had not budgeted for or even thought that there would on the radar for another year. I had already started thinking through how we were going to be able to save money. Well, so much for that idea, so sometimes you have to laugh and roll on.

And, now it looks like we are going to be looking for a new SUV.

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I am finding that everyday, I’m learning something new from my sons. While driving to work this morning, I started thinking about the boys and that we had a rough night with Baby A. And when I say that it was rough, basically he was acting like a 2 year old. He fussed. He said No a lot. He laid in the floor and pitched a fit and did not want to goto bed.

And this morning, I go and get him out of his room when he woke up and he smiled and said “Hi Daddy”. For him, today is a new day. He didn’t remember how he acted the night before. The only thing that he knew was that he was going to get some milk and that he and his brother were going to chase each other around the living room.

But as I drove to work, I thought about how as adults, we remember. We remember too much sometimes. We remember parts to conversations and hold onto comments and actions. And I wish that we could wake up each morning and simply say that today is a new day and that yesterday is in the past.

 

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I Love You is arguably one of the most powerful phrase in the English language, yet it is so often not used. But every night, my wife and I tell the boys good night and we always tell them, I Love You. And we say it to each boy, because we both want them to know that as individuals, how much we love them.

Well, a few days ago, I was asking Baby A a question and whatever his response was made me laugh. So, I just pulled him close to me and whispered “I Love You” in his ear and gave him a kiss on the head. He looked up and smiled and said “I Love You Daddy”. Well, that was it. I had to wipe the tears away from my eyes at that point.

I do not really remember growing up in a family that said that phrase that much. I am sure that we said it, but I don’t know that it was overly used.  But, I vowed that when I had children that I would say it as often as I could to them, because I always wanted them to know how much they are loved.

So boys, one day you’ll read these blogs and get a glimpse into some of the stories and things that we’ve gone through. I just hope that you know how much I love you and how much you are loved, not just by your mother and myself, but a lot of people.  You have both brought a lot of love and joy to so many lives and we are just lucky to have you both as sons.

 

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George Zimmerman was found not guilty. Not guilty. A jury voted to find him not guilty.

You can look at this case in so many ways. And regardless of what you believe, at the end of the day, 2 things remain true:

1) Mr. Martin is dead and his parents will have to leave the rest of their lives knowing that there son is no longer here. And that he was more importantly, he was taken way too soon.
2) Mr. Zimmerman will have to live the rest of his life knowing that he took the life of Mr. Martin.

I am a firm believer that as individuals, we are all entitled to our own beliefs and those beliefs should be respected. And that being said, regardless of what view you take in this case, a young man’s life was ended.

I am not a lawyer. I am not someone that has followed this case as closely as others. I can only look at this from the stand point of a parent and tonight, Mr. Martin’s parent’s mourn the loss of their son, again.

Tonight, Mr. Zimmerman is found not guilty. I just hope and pray, that those in the state of Florida, know and respect the verdict and avoid any further violence.

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What are you grateful for?

A few weeks ago, my wife created a blog and has decided that for the next 6 weeks, she is blogging about what she is grateful for that day. It is amazing in reading her blog, how many little things I take for granted in my busy day. Looking up at a sunset. A quiet moment while drinking a cup of coffee. Listening to the boys talking to each other before they go to sleep.

I am trying to slow down my life. Look at things differently. Prioritize my day and most importantly, be grateful for the little things.

So, what are you grateful for?

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This has been a weekend that we have been looking forward to for awhile, because it is one of our two weekends a year that we get to spend in the country.

For 2 days, we get to sleep in, as our friends will take care of the boys so that we can rest and relax. We will play with the boys, let them run around with the dogs, play outside in the open backyard.
The last time that we spent the weekend in the country, I slept for 12 hours. I can not remember the last time that I got more than 6 hours of sleep.

We don’t get many chances to take a weekend to get away to the country, but this is one that I’ve been looking forward to for about 6 months.

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