Life

We knew it. We had talked about it, but when the Dr. mentioned the words “Delayed Speech” at the boys 2 year check up, it hit me hard.

As a parent, you never want your children to suffer any pain or have struggles in life. So, when the Dr. suggested that Baby B should see a speech pathologist for delayed speech, it was hard.  I realize that you should never compare your children, but when you have twins, it is hard not to. It is hard not to look at one boy that is saying 3 word sentences and then look at the other and they are only making sounds and wonder if there is something wrong?

I had already made up my mind that if the Dr. did not bring up the speech problem, that I would. But it was obvious from just observing the boys in the office, that the Dr. quickly picked up that Baby A was doing all the talking and Baby B, well he was making sounds of letters and pointing at the Dinosaur (which he loves) and making Dinosaur sounds, but the words, just were not there. The Dr. tried to ask him questions and encourage him to speak and he wouldn’t say a word, just sounds. And that was when the Dr. turned and said, “I am not concerned, but, I think that he needs to see a speech pathologist.”

My heart sank. My mind went racing.

And then the Dr. quick put our concerns at ease. He calmed the worst of the fears by assuring us that he isn’t Autistic. He calmed our fears by figuring out that Baby A, he talks for both of them, so why should Baby B talk? And then he gave us suggestions, like separating them a little more and spending more 1 on 1 time together. Reading more at night. Less tv, even though their tv time is really limited.

So, I did like most parents would do on the drive home, I called my mom. Now, my mom has been an elementary school teacher for 42 years, so she has experience in this. And she did as any parent should do, she put my mind at ease. And then after I hung up with her, I walked around the grocery store for an hour, just trying to process it all. But in reality, there wasn’t anything to process. It isn’t like we are dealing with something major. I mean, it is important for him to get help and to start speaking sentences, but as I have found online, this isn’t an uncommon thing for the 2nd child of twins and especially twin boys.

The speech pathologist is coming out next week for the assessment. And until then, I ask questions and hope that he will start saying words on his own.

More to come.

// Resources //

Here were a few articles that I found to be very helpful >
Kids Health – Delayed Speech or Language Development
Parenting – Guide to Speech Delays
Baby Center – What Should I do if my 2-year-old doesn’t talk yet?

Disclaimer – I am not a Doctor and nor do I give out medical advice. I have stayed in a Holiday Inn, once, but still doesn’t qualify me to give any advice. Talk with your Doctor, as they actually went to school for this stuff. They can help you a lot more than I can.

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All-Star Outfielder for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Matt Kemp did something the other night, that was not meant to be caught on camera, but I think that we are all glad that it was.  Matt Kemp thought of someone else first. He found out about a young man that has cancer and what happens next, well if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, you should seek medical attention.

Matt Kemp gave the young fan his hat, jersey, cleats and a signed baseball and more importantly, a memory for the rest of his life.

I hope that more athletes step away from the lime light and do more random acts of kindness like this.

Great job Matt.  And I’m really glad that someone recorded this moment.  Please take a moment to read more about Matt Kemp and this hero type kindness.

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Birthday parties can be both fun and also really expensive.  We just had our boys 2nd birthday party and I was actually floored at how much it cost.

I know, I know, you shouldn’t think about money when they are this age. WRONG! You should always think about money. How much of this party will they remember next year?
Don’t get me wrong, they had a lot of fun. But still.

As I watched the boys play at the farm and run on a big bouncy thing, I got lost in the cost. I could only enjoy watching them laugh and smile. And there were several kids there too, which made it even more exciting.
And at the end of the day, the party moved from the big bouncy thing to the slide. And it wasn’t just the kids going down it. In fact, more times than not, the adults were sliding down and relieving their youths.
Everyone seemed to have a blast.

As the party ended and we packed up, we realized that we had only 1 toy to load into my suv. And in the quietness of the farm, my wife and I stood still and realized that everyone that came to the party, made a donation to the charity that we had selected in honor of the boys. So, even though the party was not cheap, after the farm rental and food, etc., the boys and all of the other kids had a great time. And from the text messages that I got from my friends with children, their children all slept well that night too.

Was it worth it? Yes. Because in a little town in South Carolina, there will be special needs children that will be getting some extra therapy lessons because of our wonderful friends and family.

Happy Birthday to my two wonderful sons. I don’t know what life would be like without you.

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With the news this week of the tragedy that took place, it got me thinking about these lyrics:

Please come to Boston
For the springtime
I’m stayin’ here with some friends
And they’ve got lots of room
You can sell your paintings on the sidewalk
By a cafe where I hope to be workin’ soon
Please come to Boston
She said no, boy you come home to me

Today, as I sit and watch the news coverage, I’ve got this song in my head. Remembering my first trip to Boston. Going to Fenway and watching Nolan Ryan pitch against Roger Clemens and yes, I did just date myself. But today, as a Yankee fan, I can say that I support Boston. Boston is a town full of history, the pride, the beauty, the days in the fall, a night game a Fenway, Cheers and some wonderful people. Today, I watch a town that is suffering and millions and millions of Americans, asking the question, yet again, WHY? Why would someone want to harm others. Why would some want to kill Americans? And at the end of the day, there are no answers. There are just more questions.

So tonight, hug your kids just a little tighter. Tell them that you love them.  And say a prayer for those that have been taken away from us too early and their families that are left behind asking why.

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When I grew up playing sports, the coaching staff always took the time to teach us the basic fundamentals and to also serve as role models.  Oh, how the times have changed.

Yesterday it was reported that Rutger’s basketball coach, Mike Rice, had been throwing basketballs at players and physically pushing his players. I’m not sure what bothers me more? The fact that he did these things or that the University waited several months before firing him? ESPN had run a story on Coach Rice yesterday, showing videos of him kicking his players, throwing basketballs at their heads and even grabbing them by their jerseys. And now, 24 hours later, Rutgers University has made the decision to relieve him of his head coaching duties.

But the interesting part of this story, to me is this:

Rice had been suspended for three games in December and fined $50,000 after athletic department officials saw video footage of abuse.

So, Rutgers was area of this situation, suspended Coach Rice and fined him.  I am all about giving people second chances, but not when they could potentially hurt a player.  How are our kids supposed to learn how to play the game the right way, when coaches are doing this? Was this an isolated incident in the NCAA. I am sure that it is. And I am also sure that given the chance to do this again, that Coach Rice would never have chosen these methods of coaching.  And I do sincerely hope that at some point time in the future, another university will give Coach Rice another chance to redeem himself. But today, I watch in disbelief and think back to my coaches and the lessons that they taught us.  And not just lessons about fundamentals to field a ground ball or take a charge. But how to conduct yourself when you are in public, because you represent your school and team.  The importance of teamwork and that you have to rely on others in life for help. Thanking a teammate for a pass or picking up a missed ground ball.

Was this an isolated incident, I certainly hope so, because I really hope that my kids never see a coach treat players like this. And I would really hope that any university or high school program today, if they know of any of their coaching staff that is using these same coaching techniques and styles, are evaluating and improving their programs.  Kids need role models.  They need good coaches. I just feel bad that the kids at Rutgers had to experience this.

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Sometimes, it rains. Sometimes, it snows. And based on my view outside, we have about 6 inches of snow on the ground.

This morning we had a snow storm to move through and drop about 6 inches of fresh snow on the ground, which caused a few things to be changed in my day. Mostly, the nanny wasn’t able to get to our house, and my wife had to go out for work, that left me being the odd man out to call out and take a snow day.

The great part about today, is that I get to spend another day with the boys. We have had a lot of fun today, playing games, reading stories and watching cartoons. I love days like this.

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For most, the weekend is a time to get caught up with chores around the house and planning for the next week. But that isn’t the case for us this weekend. This weekend, is a little different, as we are going to be kid less.

Finally, a weekend off. Well, not really a weekend, more like 24 hours, but nevertheless, time off. No responsibilities, just my wife and I. Dinner, a movie, a little shopping for the boys.

Will we miss them? Absolutely. Fortunately, our family will be sending us photos, but it is needed time a way. Not because we will not love them or miss them, but before it was a family a four, it was my wife and I, a family of two.

As I recently told a friend, who he and his wife are expecting their first child, it is important to stay connected to your wife after your child is born. Because if you lose that connection or the relationship gets lost, there is no marriage.

So plan a weekend away. Take time for just the two of you. Miss your children, but reconnect with your spouse.

I can not wait for the weekend.

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I have a feeling that this will be the first of many Guys Weekend.  My wife has to be out of town for a conference and it is just me and the boys. GUYS WEEKEND!

So what do you do with 2 2 year old twins for Guys Weekend? Well, strip clubs are obviously out, not that I have ever done that before anyway. Maybe Hooters? Maybe the zoo? But it still might be too cold for that? I want to get them out and do something, but not sure what?

I’m sure that there will be something that we can do, even if it is going to the mall and just walking around. I’ve been blessed beyond belief to have two great little boys that like to go and do, but more importantly, behave when we are in public.  And because they are so good in public, I don’t mind taking them out or even taking them to lunch on my own. Maybe there is a game on tv? I know that UNC vs. dook is that night, but that will be past their bedtime. Maybe watch a spring training game?

So what is on tap for Guys Weekend? No clue, but whatever we do, we will be together and I am pretty sure that there will be a lot of laughing.

I can’t wait for Guys Weekend, but I also can’t wait for my wife to get back to help me out too.

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How do you live your life? Do you play it safe? Do you take each moment as they come? Do you live like you were dying?

This thought has been with me a lot lately and I don’t know why? I have been asking myself more and more, am I living in the moment of now and living like I were dying tomorrow? Enjoying today? Enjoying the moments with the boys? Enjoying what time I have here on this earth? Or am I playing it safe?

Take a moment and watch the Tim McGraw video: Live Like You Were Dying

As I played with my sons last night, one of them walked over and put his head on my knee. I was responding to an email and it hit me. I was taking time away from my sons, again, to respond to an email. I have tried to work on this and focus on the now, focus on playing with the boys when I get home. And even though I’ve done better, I caught myself not doing enough. I am not beating myself up here, I am human and do have to support my family. But the reality is, I am not Living like I were dying. I am playing it too safe.

This weekend, more fun things with the boys. Going out to the park, assuming that it isn’t snowing or below freezing. Tonight, play with each of them until they can’t keep their little eyes open. And tomorrow, hope that I get the chance again to do it all over.

Read the lyrics and it will make perfect sense:

He said: “I was in my early forties,
“With a lot of life before me,
“An’ a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
“I spent most of the next days,
“Looking at the x-rays,
“An’ talking ’bout the options an’ talkin’ ‘bout sweet time.”
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?

An’ he said: “I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
“I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
“And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
“And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.”
An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,
“To live like you were dyin’.”

He said “I was finally the husband,
“That most the time I wasn’t.
“An’ I became a friend a friend would like to have.
“And all of a sudden goin’ fishin’,
“Wasn’t such an imposition,
“And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
“Well, I finally read the Good Book,
“And I took a good long hard look,
“At what I’d do if I could do it all again,
“And then:

“I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
“I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
“And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
“And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.”
An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,
“To live like you were dyin’.”

Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An’ what did you do with it?
An’ what can I do with it?
An’ what would I do with it?

“Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
“I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
“And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
“And I watched Blue Eagle as it was flyin’.”
An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,
“To live like you were dyin’.”

“To live like you were dyin’.”
“To live like you were dyin’.”
“To live like you were dyin’.”
“To live like you were dyin’.”

Lyrics from Cowboy Lyrics

 

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