Life

Sometimes it is good to step outside of your comfort zone. Life can get too boring if you don’t.

Tonight, I’m going to do something that I’ve never done before, I’m volunteering at a Shelter, to help those that have no where to go tonight and mind you, today’s high was in the teens, so tonight will probably be in the single digits. And why a cold weather shelter, I don’t know, why not? Our church has two nights a week that they go, check people in, get them situated, etc. and I thought why not?

My life has been very boring lately and more importantly, predictable. I needed something. I needed something that would shake my day/life up a little and to help me step outside of my personal comfort zone and do something completely different.

My hope tonight, is that I can be there to help someone else. I hope tonight, I can provide a kind word, give someone a warm meal or drink, give them a blanket or just sit and listen. My hope tonight, is that someone appreciates what I am doing. My hope tonight, is that they see how much I need this, as much as they need me there. My hope tonight, is that this is the first step of living outside of my comfort zone.

Read more

Sometimes I like to drift off into a deep thought and just forget about life for a little while and as we wrapped up the end of the year, I spent a lot of time in quietness. I needed some time to reflect on life, step away and gain focus.

We’ve gone through many changes in the past year, some good, some not as good as we had hoped.

  1. We for the most part as a family remained healthy, minus the typical colds, etc.
  2. We did have our first ER trip though for Boy B & Boy A did have to get stitches, but considering that they are over 4 and these were our first visits, that isn’t too bad.
  3. My wife and I both continued towards our goals of losing more weight. I believe that we are both around 20 – 25 pounds from our Phase I goals.
  4. Financially was 1 step forward and 3 back. We got hit with a lot of unexpected bills this year for cars. So, that has been a constant struggle these last few months, BUT we increased our giving to charity by close to $2,000.
  5. We found and have gotten involved in a new church and have really felt that this was a much needed change for us.

I’m sure that I’ve missed a lot, but those were just a few of the things that coming to mind last week as I was reflecting on the year. But it was also during this time of being in deep thought, that I realized how big of a difference the boys have made this past year. We had to change their daycare and put them in a daycare center, as opposed to the in home daycare that they were use to and they did great. We’ve asked them to trust us more and let them do more, i.e. they are always outside with me at the grill and they are both learning how to cook.

And it is through this time that I’ve also realized that my boys are growing up more and more and that I’ve got to change and adapt more. I have to be ok and allow them to try new things and take some leaps of faith. These little guys just never seem to stop amazing me and learning new things.

To say that I’m a proud father, might be an underestimate of the day. To say that I am sad that they are growing up really fast, is also an underestimate of the day as well. So as I reflect and sit in silence and enjoying my time in deep thought, I hope that all of those that are reading this, have a safe and happy 2016.

And one day, when my sons learn about this blog, I hope that they understand how much I love them and how proud of them that I am. And I hope that they read these words and gain an insight into my life with them and pick up a few little things along the way about being a father of twins.

Read more

Traditions are made to be broken, started, altered and passed down. And this Christmas was definitely hit on all of those this year. And all of my best plans for Christmas Eve, failed quickly, but taught me a really valuable life lesson.

Growing up, Christmas Eve was my favorite day of the year. It represented a time of anticipation and innocence. Normally, I give my staff at work the day off and I man the office, but this year, I took the day off and planned on grabbing wings and a cold beverage, grabbing a few last minute things for my wife’s stocking and as a family, going to church and then getting baking cookies and putting out luminaries and watching It’s A Wonderful Life. Each of these things, minus going for wings and beer, were things that I did as a kid growing up and something that have and still mean the most to me about Christmas. But this year, things didn’t really work out like I had expected or even thought that it would.

On Christmas Eve eve, my wife was at work and called to say that she was going to the local urgent care and that she was pretty sure that she had strep throat. Great! Two years in a row of her being sick, last year was pink eye. BUT, that wasn’t the real concern, the real concern was the boys and it was quickly appearing that they too were sick with strep and that this was becoming a tradition of them being sick at Christmas.

So, my plans for Christmas Eve went from going out and having some downtime, to taking the boys to the urgent care center, only to have it confirmed that they too had strep throat. The problem, Boy B HATES medicine and oh right, he didn’t just have strep, he also had Scarlet Fever. After getting home and trying for a few hours to get medicine into Boy B, it was quickly apparent that he wasn’t going to take it. After a quick call with a friend of mine that is a Doctor, he advised us to take him to the ER and that Scarlet Fever wasn’t something to mess around with.

So, there goes my lunch of wings and a beer, shopping, and now Christmas Eve service, because my wife and son headed straight to the ER for our first ever visit. The medical staff was awesome! They not only took care of him immediately, got a dose of medicine, they were able to break his fever. And not only did they take care of him, the ER Doctor, took his hand and lead him down the hall to a toy closet, were he could pick out any toy that he wanted! How awesome is that (this will be a future blog story about the toy closet)! So what toy did he pick out? A Star Wars Storm Trooper helmet, not because he loves Star Wars, but because his brother does and he knew that his brother would want to help him color it.

RELIEF! He was on the mends.  Peace and a deep sigh of relief for a moment.

After a few hours in the ER, my wife and son arrive back home and within 30 minutes of being back he ate more in just those few minutes than he had in the previous 24 hours. He was back to being a little boy, that was smiling and excited at the arrival of Santa coming in a few hours. So, in a few hours before their bed, we still had time to bake and decorate cookies, we watched the Charlie Brown and then we put out cookies and Reindeer food. And as we were putting out the food for the reindeer, I remembered the luminaries.

Luminaries for me growing up, were the start of Christmas. I didn’t always have the best Christmas mornings, often time there was uncertainty if this was my families last Christmas together or if there was going to be a lot of arguing? But luminaries represented calm and peace in a sometimes difficult time in my life. And as I got the luminaries together to put out in front of the house, I had the boys to come over and I told them how this was one of the many traditions that I wanted to pass down to them and they really seemed to love the way that the luminaries lite up the walk way out front as a way to give Santa a landing strip for their house.

After the boys settled down for the night and Santa had come and gone, I realized that I was still able to keep some of my traditions and even pass some down to the boys. I was able to run out for a few minutes and get candy for my wife’s stocking and found her a few other little gifts. I was able to watch our Christmas Eve church service online (Love technology and that our church really leverages it and a cool way to stream church services) and I was able to have a glass of wine while wrapping gifts and watching It’s A Wonderful Life. But most importantly, my kids were feeling better and they got to for the first time, help me put out luminaries and got to see their expressions as I talked about the candles and how peaceful it was before Santa came.

Traditions are important. Traditions are made to be broken, expanded upon, altered, started and most importantly, passed down.  I most certainly hope that the tradition of being sick at Christmas is broken, but I really look forward to seeing how next years traditions grow and stick with the boys.

 

 

Read more

A phrase that I hate to use before the end of the year, before Christmas, etc. but this last week has been a rough stretch for us. The end of the year is crunch time for all of us, work, play, etc. But this past week has been especially rough, because the oldest has been going through night terrors again.

We’ve had a lot of changes between daycare and adjustments with schedules, etc. But the last few nights have been hard, because there isn’t much that I can pin point and directly say, yeah, that is causing the night terrors. Sure, maybe off his schedule and exhausted, that could definitely be an issue. His eating was ok, mostly fruit and a slice of pizza, so not a huge amount of sugar. Growing? Maybe?

But here is what I did realize this morning around 2:00 A.M., it doesn’t matter. We all go through a rough stretch from time to time. And even though he is having these night terrors, he doesn’t remember them in the morning, though he did say that he didn’t sleep well last night. But all in all, I really don’t think that he has any concept of what is going on. And, the other realization that I had, is that there isn’t a lot of solid advice on what to do either to resolve it. There were suggestions, some we’ve tried, some I discredit based on conversations with our pediatrician and a family friend that is a psychologist.

So tonight, a new routine, not exact, but I think that it will be close.

  1. Dinner by 7 p.m. (usually they were eating around 7:30 p.m.) and no tv.
  2. Cleanup the living room and watch 2 quick YouTube videos of Puff the Magic Dragon and Rainbow Connection.
  3. Bath by 8 p.m.
  4. Ready for bed and quiet time by 8:30 p.m.

Here is my logic. The boys are more active now and playing harder at daycare, thus they are getting exhausted quicker. We were letting the boys watch 4 YouTube videos and though I am not thinking that this is the issue that is triggering the night terrors, it is better safe than sorry to just make several changes, all at once. And finally, quiet time before bed, this will consist more of stories that I read and/or make up and tell them, as my father did for me.

I have no clue if this is going to work or not, but 3 nights in a row of sleeping sitting up in a recliner is paying its toll on me and I really need some sleep. Rough stretch, sure, it hasn’t been the easiest, but this year, as I reflect on the year, we’ve had a good year and more to come on that in a future post next week. But all in all, our rough stretch is just a part of being a parent. Just when you think that you’ve got things figured out, something changes and there may or may not be a reason for it, but you have to roll with it.

Read more

Week 1 is now officially over at the new daycare and the boys absolutely love it. They have done awesome there and it has definitely been a change, but a positive one.

We have definitely started a solid routine with the boys and one that will only continue to prepare them for kindergarten next year. Each morning now, we wake them up a little earlier and get them feed breakfast and double check their lunches to make sure that they are still good with their food. And we get them out the door now, most days by 7:30 – 8:00 am. ( Our old daycare provided breakfast and lunch, so our mornings were a little less structured and in some regards, easier.)

Now, we get the boys to help pick and pack their lunches and help us out each day. So, week 1 is over and we have survived and the boys have had a blast.

Read more

Today marked a new day in the life of not only my boys, but mine as a father.  Today, the boys started a new daycare. And for those that missed out on that story, you can read part of it here, as since the majority of that story is personal and private for the daycare provider.

But over the weekend, we took the boys to get a lunch box and last night we got them to help us pack their lunch for today and they were beyond excited. I really think that just simple as simple as letting them help pack their lunch, made a HUGE difference in the transition of the new daycare/pre-K school. And then this morning, both boys were up early, they dressed themselves and were ready to leave, well before I had my first cup of coffee and the entire time, I kept wondering if the shoe was going to drop and one or both were going to freak out.

Around 8am this morning, we made the 3 mile drive, went in and got them checked in, talked with their teacher and the boys actually hugged us and told us to leave. I was tearing up and they are kicking us out the door. A new day in the lives of our boys. Today they walked into a new daycare/school for the first time and immediately started making new friends. My whole day, I’ve been on pins and needles waiting to hear how the day went.

A new day is coming to an end and another first is behind us. This new daycare is really going to prepare the boys for kindergarten, help them learn how to write and both boys are starting to show a interest in learning how to read. Our last daycare was an in home and we all loved the that environment and the lady that took care of our sons and we are very grateful for the time that we had with her. We are also very sad that she was shut down and especially for the reasons that it lead up to it. But we are also hopeful that this new daycare will prepare the boys and give them a head start to their next year in school.

Today, was a new day.

Read more

Being a parents often times requires us to pivot a lot. Pivot quick and often and at a moments notice. Last night, we had to pivot and we are still trying t figure out our next move.

Yesterday at the end of the day, we were informed that the state shut down our daycare. No notice. Nothing. My wife was scheduled to go out of town and I was going to have to figure all of this out on my own. Work. Daycare. Pivot.

I had to quickly figure out my schedule, plan on working from home, contact the state, get a list of possible alternative daycare providers, etc. And somehow, explain to  the boys that we had to change providers, again, but that they were going to make a lot of new friends. Difficult few hours, absolutely.

Last night, I got the boys together and my wife and I sat down and figured out a game plan. We cancelled her trip, I got the basketball game on and just drifted away from life for a few hours. This morning, I started working and also reaching out to other providers and forgot how intense it was going through this process.

Life is full of challenges. Full of changes. Full of times where we have to pivot and change directions at the drop of the hat. But we have to do this for the benefit of our children and we have to do it, because being a parent, things change in a moments notice.

Read more

Yesterday, for just an hour, I wasn’t connected to a phone or computer. For just an hour, I didn’t have to check email or text messages from the office.

For just an hour, I didn’t have to worry about life or think about life. But I did get to escape. I got to walk about from the distractions of life and clear my head.

Last night, I went to bed and knew that I was coming down with a sinus infection and I knew that I was more than likely going to be at home today with the boys, as one of them was not feeling well. And getting up this morning, I knew within 15 minutes what my day was going to look like and honestly, I wasn’t that far off.

Boy B has a cold. Boy A when told that he was going to daycare alone, freaked out. Could they both have gone to daycare, sure. I am just one that errors on the side of caution, especially with the holidays coming up.

Today consisted of the Boy B taking medicine for his cold (honey) and my trying to work and rest. Tonight, after my wife got home, I cooked dinner and got everyone ready for bed. Sure, I still have a sore throat and my ears are clogged up, but my kids don’t care. I mean, they do, but they still need guidance in getting them ready for bed.

But as I was rocking the boys to sleep, I thought back to yesterday and in how an hour, changed my outlook of the day. And today, I missed not having an hour alone without interruption, but the realty is that the boys will only be this age for a little long and at some point, they will not want to spend the day with me. They will not want to sit in my lap.

And in that moment, I wanted just an hour from today, to stand still in time.

Read more

We just got back from a long weekend away from life out in the country and I would love to go back now.  There is just something about country life that helps me clear my head and regain some focus of life. The boys were able to run around, play, go and see the animals.

The boys were able to play and not worry about life. They could play in the dirt, run up and down the paths and just be kids. And I could chase them (as best as my knee would let me) and we could walk and talk. The boys and I grilled every night while we were at the farm house. We laughed and we had amazing days and because the boys were so tired, night time routines were a breeze.

There is something about going to a simpler time and just relaxing. It is something that we don’t get to do very often and it is something that as I was driving into work this morning, something that I really desired and craved. I want more of the down time and more of the fun with my kids and less time in my jeep driving to and from work. Life is very short and spending 3 – 4 hours a day commuting isn’t quality of life that I want anymore. Being able to walk to the barn and get on the tractor and just go, is something that I want more of.

So today, as I sit at my desk, thinking about the weekend and the playing that we did, I miss it already. I miss that part of life that is quiet and part of nature.

 

Read more

Pets are extensions of our families and as with humans, sometimes things happen and we have to say goodbye to our pets and that happened to us this past weekend.

My wife got a cat a little over 10 years ago & he has traveled and been a part of her life through the end of college, moving home, buying a house, ME, the lose of her mom and the list continues. But over the last year, the cat started to have problems and I must admit, the cat and I had a love hate relationship. In full disclosure, I’m allergic to cats and had to continue taking allergy shots for the last 9 years and the cat also tripped me, causing me to ultimately have two knee operations. But nevertheless, the cat was a HUGE part of my wife’s life and the boys had gotten really attached to the cat as well, especially Boy A.

My wife and I had begin to notice that the cat wasn’t himself, not eating or drinking and was just laying in cool places more frequently. The vet for the last year had mentioned numerous times that there was something wrong with the cat’s stomach and that they would continue to treat it until the medicines were no longer effective and that became apparent Friday night. Late Friday night, I was up reading and had a movie on and the cat came into the living room and got really sick and then went and laid down. Saturday morning, the cat barely moved and my wife and I went upstairs to talk, away from the boys after she was able to get an appointment with the vet. I just simply said that I thought that it was a good idea to have the boys say goodbye, just in case, because I was pretty sure that the medicine didn’t work and that it was the end. And even though I think that my wife knew that, she was holding out hope, after all, this was her little buddy.

So, we explained to the boys that the cat wasn’t feeling well and had to go back to the Dr. But that before he did, that they should give him a kiss goodbye and pet him. Little did we know, that my gut feeling was right. The vet basically said that the treatments were no longer effective and that we could send the cat off to a specialty hospital, but that in the end, it really wouldn’t solve the problem. And minutes later, my wife texted me that she had made the decision and that was time to say goodbye.

An hour later, my wife walked into the house, without her cat and Boy A asked where the cat was? And it was then we had to sit them down and explain that his cat had been sick and that the Dr. couldn’t make him any better. After a lot of tears, both from my wife and my son, he cleared his throat and asked if the cat was in Heaven and better now? Well, that got me teared up and again, I had a love/hate relationship with the cat. The last several days have been sad around the house, but both boys have already been throwing out ideas for future pets, I believe Hamsters, Dolphins, Crabs, Goldfish and Dogs have all been thrown out as suggestions. But I think that my wife and I decided to keep pets off the table for now, let the healing continue and we need to get through Christmas first and then we’ll see about more pets.

Last night, as the boys and I were out grilling, I asked Boy B to close the screened door and was getting ready to say “Don’t let the cat out!” and it was then that it hit me, the cat is gone. For the last 9 years, the cat and I have tangled, but my wife and at least one of the boys loved that cat. And for that, I hated having to tell the boys. I hated explaining the concept of death, again. I hated that in their short lives, they have to lose a great grandmother and now their cat. Death is hard to understand and comprehend, even as an adult and yet, the boys seemed to do a pretty good job with the idea of it on Saturday. So as we said our prayers Saturday night, we said a little one for the cat, because as Boy A summed it up on Saturday, “He isn’t hurting and now playing with his friends.”

Read more