Tips

Sometimes in life, we have to all be calm and peaceful, even in the most difficult of times. With Boy B, transitions can and sometimes still are hard on him. Some days, he can roll with the transitions and we are good, then others, especially if he is hungry, they are harder.

About a year ago, I tried something with Boy B and it somehow has worked and worked really well and it is just something that is between he and I. But if he is getting worked up or anxious or or a struggle with a transition, I would simply point to my nose and he would stop. He would stop and would walk over to me, put his nose to mine and then I would start by saying “Be calm and peaceful” and he would take a deep breath and we would talk about what was going on. Somehow, this has really worked and worked well. And the funny thing, is that he only really does this with me, but by simply touching my nose and then him coming to me, his entire demeanor changes.

So last night, while doing FaceTime with a friend, who was going through some dating struggles (that God I’m not dating anymore), Baby B walked over and simply said, “Be calm and be peaceful” and then there was a dramatic pause and he finished with “Like the Great White Shark!” And I couldn’t help but laugh and laugh to the point of almost being in tears.

There is something about the phrase, be calm and be peaceful that even quietly saying it, seems to bring a sense of peace and comfort. And for me, being able to have this connection with my son, that I can calmly and quietly get his attention and get him refocused, is just awesome. I don’t have to raise my voice or get upset. I just have to touch my nose and he knows that it is time to be calm and peaceful.

 

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Boys will be boys and fights and rough housing will happen. It is just a part of nature. But one thing that I’ve started doing is that when the kids start getting a little to rough, I make them stop and Hug It Out.

I want them to get into the habit of realizing that they have to be nice to each other. They are brothers, best friends and sometimes in life, we aren’t going to agree on everything. But even though we might not agree, we have to be nice to each other, so just Hug It Out.

Last weekend, the boys were playing and one thing led to another and Baby B was getting ready to bite his brother and as soon as I saw him going in, I called his name and he froze. He knew that he was going to get in trouble. He knew that what he was doing was wrong. So, not only was he going straight to time out, but first he had to hug his brother and tell him he was sorry.

Life lessons are never to early to start. So many times we as adults I think lose focus of being nice to each other. I think that we are just in a rush for everything, not realizing how we are effecting others. I’ve realized that more and more as I look at my sons. Am I being in a rush and overlooking things with them? Am I being hard on them after a long day?

So when life gets to be a little hard, you get a little frustrated, you just need to say that you are sorry. Hug It Out!

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I noticed over the last few days, the boys have been counting a lot more. In fact, Baby B actually said ocho for the number 8 in Spanish. So I thought that I would start testing them and getting them to count even more.

It is amazing how creating a quick game on the fly will spark their thinking.  So while sitting at dinner, I started asking the boys to count out the number of crackers that they wanted and then they had to count them as they ate them. They jumped all over that one. So after dinner, we counted the number of steps from the floor to the top of the steps. They both got stumped on #12, but I don’t think that it is too bad to count from 1 – 12 before the age of 3.

So, now that we’ve started counting more and they have been doing it a lot on their own as well, just counting little things that they see on the floor and around them. It is just amazing to see them grow and pickup new things each day. Making a little game out of it and getting really excited when they get the numbers right has proven to be really important.

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There are a few topics in life, that 1) I know little about and 2) that I thought that I would never have to discuss and one of those is potty training.

We are 1 week into potty training the boys and thus far, we have had a lot of success. Both boys have been really interested in potty training and thus far only 1 accident.
I will be first to admit, I’ve not read 1 sing book or blog post on what to do and what to expect, I give my wife 100% credit for spear heading this project. All the way down to
the boys getting 2 M&Ms for each time that they pee on the potty. And when I heard that they were getting the M&Ms, I didn’t think for one minute that they would be excited
about the candy, but boy was I wrong.

So, now with almost 2 weeks down of potty training, I think that we are off to a good start.

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Repetition, Repetition and more Repetition. That was the theme from Baby B’s first session with the speech pathologist.

I was really amazed at how the speech pathologist not only interacted with Baby B, but maybe even more importantly, Baby A. And when I offered to take Baby A upstairs, she quickly said that Baby A would be one of her biggest helpers in getting his little brother to talk. So as she was working with the boys, talking with them, showing them different animials and showing them the sign language for them, she was teaching my wife and I what we needed to do to help when she is not there. And it came back to repetition.

Perfect example is that she had a box with paper animals in there. And she was knock on top of the box 3 times (again, repetition) and then she would say open. Well, Baby A, he was all over that, as it only took him seeing that 1 time to figure out what to do. Baby B, he was more observant. Studying what was going on and finally he walked over, knocked on the top of the box 3 times and she said Open and he got a toy out. Well, that just sparked it all. But it was that repetition that got it going.

This morning was a good session for him and for us. It gave us some information and tools that we needed to help out.

And tonight, as I prepare dinner and talk with the boys, I’ll be using as much repetition as possible.

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I love pizza, I mean, who doesn’t? So recently I tried a store bought pizza dough and loved the flavors and the way that it tasted. And then I thought, why not make a homemade pizza? So after searching around, here is what I came up with and I’ll denote if there were any changes to the recipes.

First the pizza dough: This will easily make 3 large pizzas. So, if you look at it from a cost benefit – the flour might be the most expensive ingredient for this recipe.
Olive Oil Dough Pizza Crust – If you don’t own the Artisan Bread book, please consider picking it up.

Then, the pizza sauce: Again, we are looking at enough sauce for 3 large pizzas. For the cost stand point, this is a verable cost, because the tomato paste could be used with fresh tomatoes and the herbs could be fresh, etc.
Pizza Sauce – I used herbs that I had at the house that were in a jar, but that was because they were already there. Next time, I will be using fresh herbs and maybe a little less rosemary than what is called for.

Basically, 20 – 30 minutes of work to make the pizza crust and sauce and you might be out, maybe $10- 15 dollars depending on your costs? Not bad for 3 large pizzas.

And, if you wanted to include something for the kids. Take a cookie cutter and cut a little dough for the kids and make a small individual pizza for them. Not bad for 20 – 30 minutes of work and I promise, you’ll never buy another store bought or chain pizza again, provided you have the time to make all of this.

*Note: We did purchase a bottle of Butter Flavored Olive Oil, so I used that instead of the extra virgin olive oil for the pizza crust and used a Tuscan Herb Olive Oil for the sauce.

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For most, the weekend is a time to get caught up with chores around the house and planning for the next week. But that isn’t the case for us this weekend. This weekend, is a little different, as we are going to be kid less.

Finally, a weekend off. Well, not really a weekend, more like 24 hours, but nevertheless, time off. No responsibilities, just my wife and I. Dinner, a movie, a little shopping for the boys.

Will we miss them? Absolutely. Fortunately, our family will be sending us photos, but it is needed time a way. Not because we will not love them or miss them, but before it was a family a four, it was my wife and I, a family of two.

As I recently told a friend, who he and his wife are expecting their first child, it is important to stay connected to your wife after your child is born. Because if you lose that connection or the relationship gets lost, there is no marriage.

So plan a weekend away. Take time for just the two of you. Miss your children, but reconnect with your spouse.

I can not wait for the weekend.

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A little tip for when traveling, use Gift Cards. I am a big fan of trying local restaurants when traveling, but if you have a lot of gift cards, why not save a little money?On our last trip, we were able to eat out 4 times using gift cards, which meant that we saved almost $120, if not more.  So using the gift cards not only saves money, but it is a very thrifty way to travel and save money.

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Kids need structure as much as the parents do and for the exact same reasons.

Kids need the routine, the routine of going to bed, naps, eating, etc. It builds structure in their lives and structure that will guide them throughout their lives.
But parents also need the structure as well, to ensure that their children are well rested, going to bed on time, etc.

I always have a problem when I go out and see a family with little kids eating at 9pm and the kids can barely hold their heads up from being tired. They need structure.

We have a set routine that we have found to work for us:

Wake up – 6am – 7am
1st changing and Milk – after they wake up
Breakfast – 8:45 – 9am
Juice/Water – 11:30am
Lunch – 12:30
Nap – 1 – 3pm
Milk/Juice – 5pmDinner – 7pm
Bed – 8pm

Structure. The kids know the pattern. They know that when they are finished eating, that they play for a few minutes, we change them and they goto bed. They sit in their cribs and play or chat or even flip through books, but they know that the lights are off and it is also time to goto sleep.

For the exact same reason that it is good for kids, it helps parents also to plan their nights as well. My wife and I know that we have 8 – 10pm each night as our time. Our time to talk, connect, watch tv, and eat dinner. That is our time. And we know that we can almost count on each night, having that time alone.

It is important to have structure for both the parents and kids, because in the end, it will make things run a lot smoother.

 

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I learned a valuable lesson this weekend from my mother and that is that you are never too old learn, especially when you are a new parent.

I should start this off by stating that my mother has been a elementary school teacher for 44 years, so she knows a little more about children than I do.  So, while I was feeding the boys the other night, one kept dropping food on the floor and I kept repeating the word No to him. And then he did something else and I said No again. After a few minutes, my mother spoke up and said to me, that it would be better than telling them No all the time, to say “we do not drop food on the floor” or “we do not hit our brother”. And it got me thinking, it makes sense. At some point, the boys will grow numb to the word No if they hear it all the time.

I am really trying to make it a point to now, explain what they are doing or why we do not do something, instead of just saying No.  It is a hard habit to break, but thus far, they seemed to have responded thus far.

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