Tips

I’m sure that you are thinking that this is about raising kids or having kids or something along those lines, well, you are wrong. With all of the weather related events over the last few months, it got me thinking, if my family was ready for a disaster or not?  So I ask again, are you ready? Because I am not, but I will be.

Here are a few helpful resources:

Take time and prepare today, because you do not know what tomorrow is going to hold and if you are going to need those supplies. Will you be ready?

 

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The boys are a little over a year old now, but I wanted to share with everyone something that I found to be very helpful for our 1 year checkup for the boys: Doctor visit worksheet: The 1 year checkup  – From the BabyCenter.com

My wife hates it when the boys have to get shots. I do as well, but I am usually the one that gets to hold the boys down when they get their shots. I don’t really physically hold them, I really just keep their arms close to their sides so that they do not hit the nurse. I don’t really enjoy the job, seeing my children cry, but I know that it will make them better or protect them in the long run. And sometimes, the Dad just has to do certain things.

Another important thing to do for a Doctor visit, research, see what other parents are saying or questions that they are asking their Doctor. You are a parent, not a Doctor that knows all of the answers to medical questions. We have even asked our Pediatrician, tell us what we are not asking or thinking about? Again, we are parents, we only know what we know. And our Pediatrician does a great job in giving each boy 30 minutes of his time for their checkup and really sits down and explains everything that is going on.  And he often times, tells us things that we have not really thought about. Trying to prepare us for the coming milestones in the boys lives.

There are no stupid questions, remember you only know what you know. But for your next Doctor visit, I challenge you to really ask a lot of questions and even ask your Pediatrician what you are not asking that you should be.

 

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In 2008, my wife’s mother was killed in an automobile accident. After a few months, my wife and I decided to seek help in dealing with our loss by seeking help from a Grief Counselor. We got a lot out of the counseling, but one thing that has really stuck with us and that has been really important in our marriage, planning trips.

Whenever my wife and take a trip, whether it is with or without the boys, before we leave for the trip we plan our next trips. It is pretty basic actually, this gives us something to look forward when we return home. It gives us something to look forward to, something to start thinking about and planning. Looking for attractions to visit, restaurants, places to take the boys, etc.

Taking trips can be a wonderful thing, either as a family or just as a couple. It allows you to get away, clear your head and most importantly, reconnect as a couple. So before your next trip, start planning and even booking the next place that you want to visit.

Here are a few photos from a trip that brought me a little comfort:

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Being online as much as I am, including Facebook and Twitter, I have really tried to control our privacy on social media. As it pertains to my kids, I want to protect them as much as possible. I want their identities shielded as much as I can. So, on Twitter, we do not share photos of the boys. And since all of our family and friends are on Facebook, we have changed our privacy settings to help protect our children’s identity and photos.  We only allow our friends to see photos of the boys on Facebook.  And you will only see that we refer to our boys as Baby A and Baby B. We do not use the boys real names.

As we as a society incorporate social media in our lives, the greater the need for privacy on social media channels. Protect yourself and your family online.

This is a great article on how to protect yourself while on Facebook: How to Control Your Facebook Privacy Settings

Remember, as more and more people use social media tools for good, there are still people out there that are looking to take advantage of others. Take precautions.

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When eating out at restaurants one of the things that we have started doing is that as long as adults are eating at the table, the boys will remain in their high seats. And the reason that we have done this, is that we do not want the boys to get into the habit of going out and being walked around the restaurant. We want our kids to be respectful of the adults at the table and allow the adults to eat their meal as well.

We have all been out to eat before, watched families walking around the restaurants with their screaming children and not eating. Our goal is really to get the kids use to eating out at restaurants, but more importantly sitting in their seats and behaving themselves. Yes, the boys are still young, but part of raising your children is the repetitiveness.  So, the more that we can get use to being in restaurants the better off that we will be in the long run.

Take toys with you to help keep them occupy them, give them finger foods, or just talk with then while they are at the restaurant.  Teach them now, that their appropriate behavior is to remain seated while everyone eats and then they maybe excused when the meal is finished and there will not be problems down the road with your kids wanting to get up constantly while everyone is eating.

 

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I’ve been asked numerous times if it is hard traveling with twins. And though I usually laugh off the question, I try to give the person some idea of what we do to not only prepare & pack for a for a trip, but also how we handle the drive too.  So this is what we do and have found to be the most beneficial:

Prepare & Packing

  • We start packing the night before
  • We factor in whether or not there is a washer and dryer where we are going, as that helps determine how much we pack
  • We have all major things, i.e. 2 pack n plays downstairs and put in order of how they should be packed into the car first thing the next morning
  • Gas the car

The Drive

  • Have all snacks ready to go
  • We are able to get about 3 – 4 hours a time with our drive before we have to stop.
  • Plan ahead and and look at possible places that you can stop. Whether a restaurant or Starbucks, find a place that allows you to stretch your legs, use the restroom, but a place that is comfortable for your children so that they can take a little bit of a break.

Traveling with twins can be a challenge, but it is really what you make it. Depending on the age of your children will determine if you’ll have only a few good hours on the road before your first stop, so make the most of it.

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Being a part is really hard, harder than any job that I have ever had in my life.  The reality is that parents need a night off every once in awhile, because they need to recharge and regroup.  It is not only for the parents to stay connected with each other, but it also makes them better parents.

Since the boys have been born, we’ve been able to get 2 nights away from the boys. Did we miss them, absolutely. But we also needed a night off too. We’ve not left the same town as the boys, as a family member kept our boys, but we went to dinner, saw a movie and also a concert, and stayed a local hotel and just relaxed. We had a full night of rest. We did not have to worry about anything those nights. We just focused on us. Because before the boys were here, it was just us.

So take a night off. And if you aren’t comfortable with with leaving your children with someone else over night, at least do a dinner. But do yourself a favor, take a night off and recharge, so that you can be a better parent to your children.  Take a look at some of the local coupons sites, find a quiet place to go and just relax, but also save some money too.

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I can not tell you how many times that my father and my grand father have told me to save today and not to count on having Social Security benefits available to me when I retire.  I am trying to take the necessary steps today planning for my future and for the future of my family. Here is what I am currently doing to ensure that we are financially set for the long haul, and not factoring in Social Security benefits into the equation.

  1. Pay off debt – this will allow for more money to be put in our savings and money market accounts.
  2. Invest – Even though I have stopped by individual stocks for now, I am investing about 8% of my current salary and my employer puts in an additional 2%. So, about 10% of my current salary is going into my 401 and I am hoping to have that up to about 15% in 2 years. I try with each pay raise to add at least 1 – 2% to my investment. And, to simplify my investment, I went with a target date fund, based on my year of retirement, so the fund managers will automatically adjust the holdings as needed each year. Going from more of an aggressive holding now, to a less aggressive and risky holdings the closer that I get to retirement.
  3. Save for college tuition – The more that we can save over the next 18 years, the better off that not only my wife and I will be, but more importantly, the boys will need to borrow that much less. I would like to be able to pay for the majority of their college tuition so that the boys can go to college without going into debt.
  4. Social Security – Though I am not factoring this  into my retirement, I did go to Social Security Estimation of Benefits to see that if I wait and work until I am 70, that my monthly take home will be over $2,800. However, if I retire and start drawing Social Security at the age of 67, then my monthly payment will be $2,100.

Planning for the future is important and I am a web developer, not a financial planner. So, if you have questions as it pertains to your financial goals, take the necessary steps to get the best information for you and your family. Here are two local resources:

Our children will have enough to deal with as they become adults, I would like to try to help them and teach them that it is ok to save and more importantly, how saving today can give them so much more in the future.

 

 

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I had a long conversation with a co-worker yesterday regarding the topic if it was ok or not to get frustrated with your children? Our conversation started because both of our children did not sleep the night before and we were both tired and talked about how we dealt with the situations. And ultimately, we came down to this:

1) Children, especially if they are young like mine, are unable to communicate with me to tell me what is wrong. So, they get frustrated that they can not tell me what is wrong.
2) We as the parents are humans that do get frustrated, at situations, including when our children do not sleep.

So, in saying that. Is it ok to be frustrated? Yes. But, what is not ok, is taking it out on your children. We both talked about how we dealt with the situation and how we were able to remain calm and here were a few things that we both did:

1) Change of scenery. Meaning that sometimes, you just need to walk away and count to 10 in a different room.
2) Deep breathing. It provides a calming effect, but also always you to relax and regain focus.
3) Most important, remember that these are your children and there is a reason for whatever is happening. In my case, my child can not tell me why he is sleeping. So, we rock. He babbles to me. He sleeps on my chest. We talk. And at some point, he goes to sleep.

Getting frustrated is just a part of life. We get frustrated at drivers. Co-workers. Our spouses. Our sports teams. It is only human nature for us to get frustrated. Just remember that when it comes to your children, that sometimes it is best to take a step back and regain composure before getting frustrated and ultimately reacting or in some cases, over reacting.

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Why pay full price, when there are so many websites now that are offering discounts on products and services that can be used for your local areas.  We get daily emails with local offers:

We have purchased several of these discounted items, such as House Cleanings, Oil Changes from Jiffy Lube, and several local restaurants. We have been able to save a lot of money by doing this. For our oil changes, we were able to save about $45, for the house cleaning we saved about $55 and for the restaurants, we have saved at least $100. When every dollar counts, keeping an eye out for good deals can really come in handy.

Take advantage of local offers whenever possible, because it not only saves you money, but it also helps local businesses.

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