July 2018

Summer schedules are both a blessing and a curse!

This summer, has been a blast for the kids. They have been doing a one week on and one week off with their camps this summer. And tomorrow, they start up a 2 week swimming lesson class and then in the afternoon, Mindcraft camp! Now, the Mindcraft camp is something that they have really looked forward too, but at the same time, they have also struggled with the week off.

A few observations on while they are at camp, they sleep a lot better and they aren’t peeing in the bed at night (FYI a future post). But they are worn out at night, which is a great thing, but being off a week, throws their schedules off a lot too.

Another great thing about this summer is that my wife and I have gotten a weekly date! I can’t even put into words how awesome that is. We get to goto dinner. Talk. Enjoy a glass of wine or two. Catch up and actually date again. There are books on the importance of dating your spouse, which I highly recommend.

But back to summer schedules. The great thing about the boys schedule is just that, there has been a week on and off for them. They get to have fun and relax. The bad part is that for Boy B, he needs the schedules more so than Boy A. But, it has also put him in very anxious and difficult positions and he has needed to learn some more coping techniques too.

Now that we are rounding out July and starting 2 new camps for the next 2 weeks, we are also transitioning into August. Where we live, August just means that we have another month before school starts. But, it also means that we are going on vacation soon too.

We have had a lot of personal things going on, which will most definitely be a future blog post, but for now, I just say that for the first time in my professional career, I’m taking more than 1 week off. Does that mean that I will not work during that time, no. What it means is that I am taking time to regroup. Spend time with my family. Relax.

One thing that I’m learning more and more about, is the need to relax. The need to have downtime. The need to separate from work and to just enjoy life.

This year, I’ve changed our summer vacation to something more of what I need. So this year, we will spend 3 days with my family and our niece and nephew so that the boys can spend time with their cousins, I’ll also get time with just the four of us at the beach alone too.

But, we’ll also go and say goodbye to my grandmother, my last grandparent.

So, as we adjust and review summer schedules, life goes on.

Until tomorrow, when the boys start back a 2 week intense swimming lessons. I start preparing for some much needed downtime.

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I’ve struggled a lot lately with how much of the truth I tell my sons about my childhood.
There have been a lot of questions, as they are of they age they want to know and ask things.

But how much do you tell? I’ve talked with friends that are a lot smarter than I am and more importantly, focus on child psychology and they have said to share what I fell comfortable with.

But that really didn’t help. The truth is this, my childhood was not that great. That is just a fact. But to what point do they need to know? And that I do not have an answer? And more importantly, it is something that I have struggled a lot with of late.

Watching the movie I Can Only Imagine brought a lot of feelings and thoughts to the forefront of my life. Was I hit with a plate, no, but did that movie hit way too close to home, yes. Do my kids need to know this about my past? Probably not. And probably not, I mean no.

As a parent, my job is to protect my kids. Not lie to them, but maybe not share all of the truth. When asked, I can say that things were not great in my childhood and shift the focus of the conversation to something else. Because what good does telling the truth do?

From my friends in the psychology world, they have talked with me at great lengths about breaking history and I usually laugh, because they know me better than that. The cycle of abuse has been broken. But the truth about my childhood to me, ends with me.

My son’s have asked a lot lately about my father and I just smile and try to answer as best I can. Sometimes, I lie. Is that fair to them, no. But is telling them the truth fair to take away the innocence of their view of their grandfather? Telling the truth does not help them in anyway and that is ok!

I’ve started for the first time in my life, dealing with what was my childhood. In doing so, it has also made me realize a lot of things too. Some of those things are not good either!

So today, as my kids ask me about my childhood, I give them shades of the truth, in hopes that it protects them from the truth and it helps me process it at the same time.

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Celebrities are just like each and everyone of us, within reason. But over the past year, I have been able to introduce either one or both of my son’s to celebrities and it has been a blessing and a curse.

First, the blessing. With my job, I have been fortunate to be able to work closely with a former Major League Baseball player, who as a kid, I watched. And, I was also able to introduce one of my son’s to a 4 time Grammy Award winning musician this past year as well.

The cool part of this, is that these are both people that I have met throughout the years and worked with one, but also got to hang out with them and know them personally.

The bad part about this is that I have already been asked who the next celebrity that they get to meet? This is not the behavior that I am looking for when we create these opportunities for our kids.

I was not raised to expect things and I don’t want my kids to think that it is ok to expect certain things. My wife and I have been very fortunate, that we have good jobs and have been able to provide these opportunities to my kids. I just don’t want them to expect things.

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It is really never a day off for a parent, but in theory it would be nice. As we sit around the house this morning, relaxing, I was thinking about all of those that serve in the armed forces and how they protect our freedoms to have a day off today.

Today, as we fire up the grill, relax and take the day off from work, let’s remember those that give us the ability to do just that.

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