May 2013

We take it all for granted, until it hits close to home.  As I have blogged about in the past, Baby B has been slow with his speech development. This past week, a Speech Pathologist did an initial evaluation on him and started working with him to encourage him to talk. But, an amazing thing also happened this week too. He started talking. Not a lot. But, he did say 2 new words, Baby and Blue. Though not huge in anyway, but he has not only said them, but he keeps saying them.  And he says them correctly when referring to either a baby or the color blue.

This past week, work has been crazy. A lot going on. I was beyond stressed off and I was getting close to the end of my patience. And then something happened. I was playing with the boys and I asked Baby B where his hair was? And he touched his hair. Then we proceeded to go through all of the body parts and for the first time, he touched each and every single one of them as I asked.  And as he sat and smiled, holding his toes, he pointed to my shirt and said “Blue”. At the end of a rough week and all that I have been wanting is for my son to say something, anything, he says “Blue”. I could have cried. And then for him to go through all of the body parts was equally as exciting.

Maybe his delayed speech development is attributed to his brother talking for him? Maybe he just did not have anything to say?  Maybe the speech pathologist helped?

Regardless the reason, he did it. He is beginning to talk. Speech is the form of communication that we know, but it was something that Baby B was not ready to do.

So, we encourage him to talk more. We are still separating them on Saturday mornings.  And we continue to ask questions and help him learn new words. We are still waiting on the report from the Speech Pathologist, but this is a good start.

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Today marks Day 1 of a new challenge that I have setup for myself and one that I hope that will continue for a very long time.

Ever since I turned 21, I have been reminded that both sides of my family struggles with alcohol. I have known it and have always been really mindful of it. The last 2 – 3 weeks have been really stressful at work and instead of coming home and having a beer or a glass of wine, I was doing 3 – 4.
I was drinking to get through the stress. I knew it. I didn’t want to admit it, but I recognized it. And when I said out loud that I was doing this, I felt like the world was being lifted off of my shoulders.

This past Sunday night, my wife and I had a long conversation and it was really me more or less mapping out what I wanted to do, to try to ensure that I am here for a long time for the boys.
And for the first time in my life, I acknowledged, that if I didn’t make changes, that I wouldn’t be here to watch the boys grow up. So, I asked my wife to give me 2 – 3 nights a week that I could work out
at the gym. I’ve already been doing a pretty decent job with the meals, so I wasn’t as concerned about that.

Today marks Day 1 of this new journey. Day 1 of a new me and a new life. I am fortunate that a few friends are taking this same approach to getting in better shape. I think that the biggest feeling for me, is that there will be accountability, because
several good friends will also be doing this and we will be able to keep each other on track.

 

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Memorial Day is the start of summer for most. But it is also a time to get together with friends and families and BBQs.

This year, we have family coming over and I’ll be enjoying a lot of quality time at the grill and smoker.  Brisket, Baby Back Ribs, Chicken, Burgers and Brats, and the list goes on.
But as much as I love standing and smelling the food cooking, I love the fact that I get to spend the weekend with my boys.

So take time this Memorial Day weekend and spend time with your loved ones.

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Do you worry? Worry about life? Your kids? Finances?

Well of course you do, you are human and we all worry about something.

While driving to work today, a buddy of mine sent this to me as a text message and I thought that it was only  appropriate to share.

34Don’t worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today.
Matthew 6:34
https://www.youversion.com/bible/392/mat.6.34.cevus06

I’m not saying that after I read that passage, that I didn’t worry. But, I was reassured. So take a moment, look outside and enjoy those that are around you.

And try to not worry so much.

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Tonight, I sit speechless. I put the boys to bed, as usual. But it wasn’t usual tonight. I talked with them about life, about God, and anything and they sat and listened. We talked, we laughed and we prayed for my best friend that lives just outside of Oklahoma City.

As a Christian, it is times like this that I wonder. I wonder what God was thikning when thi s happened. I believe that there is/was a plan, however we will never see it. So as I read that 51+ are dead and 24 maybe kids, I just wonder, “what was God thinking”.

It isn’t my place to question God like that though. I only hope and pray that he uses people as a way to show how to overcome adverser.

#OklahomaStrong

 

 

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Sometimes in life, you just have to Let It Go.

Life can get you down really quickly. Pressures from work can get you down really quickly. Relationships can get you down really quickly.
So what do I do? I Let It Go. And this little band called Cowboy Mouth has the perfect song for that.

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I shared a story this morning with a close family friend that he encouraged me to blog about. And it is about how sometimes, you have to listen to the voice in your head.

This past Saturday night, my wife, the boys and I walked into Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. And as we did, we passed a table with a couple that was having dinner before their prom. They were happy and smiling and laughing. And it was just contagious the way that they were enjoying their dinner and life in general. And as I walked by, this little voice in my head said, “buy their dinner”. No, I’m not crazy and I’m not trying to start a religious conversation, but I do think that God can give us nudges sometimes.

Our waiter leads us to the back of the restaurant, but I can still clearly see the kids laughing and smiling. And the entire time, I keep hearing in my head, “buy their dinner” and I tried to shake it but the more I dismissed the idea, the more I had this tugging that I needed to do this. So, I get up, grab my waiter and tell him that I want to buy the kids dinner and asked if he could get their waiter over so I could get their bill. The waiter just looked at me and smiled and said that it was really cool of me to want do that and to let him see what he could do. It was at this point, that my wife smiled and looked at me and then realized that I had done. A few minutes, their waiter goes to their table and tells them that someone wanted to buy their dinner, but wouldn’t tell them who, as I asked that we remain anonymous.

After our food was brought to our table, I looked up and saw the cute couple walking to another table to visit some of their friends and what I later found out was also family.  The high school boy kept adjusting his tie and his tux, making sure that it was perfect. But the smile that he had on his face was just awesome and one that I’ll never forget.  You see, the young couple both had Down’s Syndrome. And the waiter that was taking care of the couple, told me that this was their first prom and in fact, it was their first date ever.

I did not buy their dinner because they had Down’s Syndrome. I bought their dinner, because sometimes in life, we get these little nudges through the voice in our heads and I think that if we act on that voice, that something big could happen. And it did. I saw how happy they were. I saw how much they were enjoying the moment of life. And as we left the restaurant, we walked past the couple and their families and one of the mom’s told a friend that someone in the restaurant paid for the kids to have dinner and how neat that it was.  And my wife and I just smiled as we got in and watched them getting ready to head to their prom, because for a few moments in life, a small gesture on our part, gave us a lifetime of memories.

It is the small things in life that matter the most.  And if you get the chance, do something nice and out of the ordinary for someone else, but do it in a way that no one else knows that you did it.

Listen to that little voice in your head, that nudge that tells you to do something, because I would hate for you to miss out on a life changing moment.

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The hardest part about being an adult, has to be making decisions.  But, there is a difference in making decisions that only effect you personally and making a decision that effects your entire family. And that is where I am today.

What do I do? What is the best career move for my family? Do we move closer to my family down south? Do we move to Houston, where I also have family and friends, but it is Houston and that is all that matters.

The older that we get, the harder a lot of decisions become to make. We are lucky, because the boys are still young and have no friends to speak of. But, we do have family here. But, if we move to Houston, we could provide more for the boys. But, it would be harder for my wife’s family to see the boys. But, my family would see the boys and so would my friends in Houston. But that would require us selling our house and moving. But, that would mean a much bigger house and lower cost of living.

Decisions. Remember when the hardest decision was what tv show to watch? Or what bar to go to that night? Or what you were going to have for dinner?

Man, kids can really make decisions harder, but also easier too.

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

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We knew it. We had talked about it, but when the Dr. mentioned the words “Delayed Speech” at the boys 2 year check up, it hit me hard.

As a parent, you never want your children to suffer any pain or have struggles in life. So, when the Dr. suggested that Baby B should see a speech pathologist for delayed speech, it was hard.  I realize that you should never compare your children, but when you have twins, it is hard not to. It is hard not to look at one boy that is saying 3 word sentences and then look at the other and they are only making sounds and wonder if there is something wrong?

I had already made up my mind that if the Dr. did not bring up the speech problem, that I would. But it was obvious from just observing the boys in the office, that the Dr. quickly picked up that Baby A was doing all the talking and Baby B, well he was making sounds of letters and pointing at the Dinosaur (which he loves) and making Dinosaur sounds, but the words, just were not there. The Dr. tried to ask him questions and encourage him to speak and he wouldn’t say a word, just sounds. And that was when the Dr. turned and said, “I am not concerned, but, I think that he needs to see a speech pathologist.”

My heart sank. My mind went racing.

And then the Dr. quick put our concerns at ease. He calmed the worst of the fears by assuring us that he isn’t Autistic. He calmed our fears by figuring out that Baby A, he talks for both of them, so why should Baby B talk? And then he gave us suggestions, like separating them a little more and spending more 1 on 1 time together. Reading more at night. Less tv, even though their tv time is really limited.

So, I did like most parents would do on the drive home, I called my mom. Now, my mom has been an elementary school teacher for 42 years, so she has experience in this. And she did as any parent should do, she put my mind at ease. And then after I hung up with her, I walked around the grocery store for an hour, just trying to process it all. But in reality, there wasn’t anything to process. It isn’t like we are dealing with something major. I mean, it is important for him to get help and to start speaking sentences, but as I have found online, this isn’t an uncommon thing for the 2nd child of twins and especially twin boys.

The speech pathologist is coming out next week for the assessment. And until then, I ask questions and hope that he will start saying words on his own.

More to come.

// Resources //

Here were a few articles that I found to be very helpful >
Kids Health – Delayed Speech or Language Development
Parenting – Guide to Speech Delays
Baby Center – What Should I do if my 2-year-old doesn’t talk yet?

Disclaimer – I am not a Doctor and nor do I give out medical advice. I have stayed in a Holiday Inn, once, but still doesn’t qualify me to give any advice. Talk with your Doctor, as they actually went to school for this stuff. They can help you a lot more than I can.

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All-Star Outfielder for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Matt Kemp did something the other night, that was not meant to be caught on camera, but I think that we are all glad that it was.  Matt Kemp thought of someone else first. He found out about a young man that has cancer and what happens next, well if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, you should seek medical attention.

Matt Kemp gave the young fan his hat, jersey, cleats and a signed baseball and more importantly, a memory for the rest of his life.

I hope that more athletes step away from the lime light and do more random acts of kindness like this.

Great job Matt.  And I’m really glad that someone recorded this moment.  Please take a moment to read more about Matt Kemp and this hero type kindness.

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