ADHD

Today, marks my son’s ADHD testing – round 2. I can’t believe that it is time for him to be retested. It seems like yesterday, I was sitting in the lobby of the Psychologist’s office, anxiously waiting to send him back for his first day.

Today, was a completely feeling. Today, as I went to the Psychologist’s office, we talked about the last time he took the test. We talked about ADHD in general. We talked about the importance of him being retested.

My level of anxiousness was minimal, as was my son’s. And I’m glad. I think that I needed his sense of assurance, as much as he needed mine.

We have been talking a lot about ADHD, the importance of controlling ourselves, as best as he can. We talked about things that he can do, like yoga and meditation, things that we have both been doing more of this summer as way to stay focused and in control.

Today’s testing is really more for his 504 plan with school this year, if nothing else. His hyperactivity is still there, that is very obvious. But he needs to have this test to ensure that he is still diagnosed with ADHD and then we can allow for him to have accommodations at school this year.

So as I sit in Starbucks, drinking yet another cup of coffee this morning, my mind wonders. What is my son doing now? What testing are they doing? How focused is he? Is he going to present signs of autism this time? Not that it matters, but the Psychologist brought it up, so my mind goes there this morning.

I find myself looking around the room at Starbucks. There are kids running around. There are couples talking. There are a group of what appears to be high school students that are doing a bible study. Everyone is smiling, but what is not being said or emotion being shown?

We all struggle. We all have stuff (use another adjective) that we deal with, but sometimes we put on a smile and move forward. What we deal with my son is minor in comparison to most. Is it a lot to us, some days, but we try to keep in perspective life. The importance of today and being grateful for what we have, today.

So in 1 hour, I’ll pickup my son, with a snack in hand and day 1 of his ADHD testing will be done.

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A few weeks ago, I mentioned to a friend that I was considering writing a book. I wasn’t sure on what, but I just had this feeling, that maybe it was in my future.

Now, for those that read this and know me well, know that writing isn’t my strongest gift! In fact, I have to have co-workers read emails before I send them to certain executives at work. That being said, tonight, might have changed my mind on this book idea. 

Tonight, my son struggled going to bed. And struggled might not even be the right word. He got up every 5 minutes, said a bad word, wanted to argue, etc. But somewhere in the conversation, he asked to meditate.

See, this is the part that I laugh, because a few weeks ago, I started doing a 21 Day Calm Challenge on the calm app, which has been a great starting point for me to learn the importance of meditation. But learning the foundation of meditation, has given me a chance to learn new ways to control myself and my feelings, but to help my son when he is struggling.

So tonight at bed time, he asked if we could meditate, which I was fine with. But I also got our puppy, who we have nicknamed our emotional support animal. But as she laid beside my son, he slowly started to pet her and the more he did, the more I realized that there is a story here. A story for other parents.

I learn new things daily about ADHD. The importance of meditation. The importance of eating certain types of food. The need to have a set and structured scheduled. Exercise. Downtime. And the list goes on and on. But what I realized even more, is that this could be useful information for other parents.

This could be a way to help someone else, someone that has no clue what ADHD is and/or what it means for their child. And the funny that that as I even write this down, I hate writing. And the thought of putting together thoughts and ideas for a book, makes me cringe. But, if I can help one parent, it would be worth it.

So here goes. It might take years. I might never happen. But I am writing a book.

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Cooking for a child with ADHD is sometimes a struggle.

I have spent a lot of time over the last week trying to come up with a list of foods that my son will eat. So here is the list of things that I came up with that I know that he likes and a list of things that I things that I think that he might like and that he will be trying.

  • Spaghetti
  • Tacos
  • Chicken Nuggets
  • French fries
  • Fruit
  • Yogurt
  • Homemade pizza
  • Fried rice
  • Mac & Cheese
  • Pretzels with cheese dip
  • Homemade grilled cheese
  • Oatmeal
  • Shakes
  • Creme Brulee (because what 7 year old doesn’t love it?)

Now, for the recipes that I’ll be trying in the next few weeks.

  • Sweet potato fries (baked)
  • more vegetable – Sous Vide Green Beans & baked zucchini and squash
  • Chicken Parm
  • Zucchini crisps
  • Breakfast burritos modified (eggs, bacon and potatoes)
  • Breakfast muffins (eggs, sausage, bacon and cheese)
  • Cauliflower rice
  • Ham & Cheese sandwiches
  • Chicken soup
  • Chicken and Cheese Quesadilla
  • And more

Picky eaters are hard to cook and plan for and a child with ADHD makes cooking slightly more challenging. Because he snacks all day long, it makes dinner time difficult, not to mention that he is a very picky eater too. I am going to have my son to start helping me more in the kitchen to get him involved. This I hope will get him more interested in the foods that he is eating.

I will also be posting these recipes here on the website too, in hopes that maybe some of you with picky eaters or children with ADHD can use them to help them eat a little better and more as well.

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My son, Boy B is a very picky eater. If he could live on fruit, pizza and Doritos, he would be loving life. But the reality is, he needs to be eating other things. I’ve spent time reading and looking at cookbooks, as well as a million and one Google searches trying to find new things that he will eat.

So this morning, he and I talked and I explained my need to figure out what to cook for him and he seemed to get it. So for the next 15 minutes, he gave me ideas.  I don’t know that we got too far with the ideas of new things for him to eat, but for 15 minutes, we laughed, we talked about what he loved to eat and how important it was for him to be trying new things.

Having a child that is a picky eater, that is also ADHD and has sensory issues, is a challenge. But, I’ve been faced with a lot of challenges in my life thus far and what is one more? So, together and he and I are working on things that not only I can cook for him, but things that he can help me cook.

I’m starting to realize, that there might be a connection with foods, ADHD and being a picker eater, but I’m hoping that by involving him in the cooking process, he will be more open to trying new things. And understand, I have zero scientific basis for my thoughts, other than what I see everyday.

So this week, we start working on new recipes for him and I’m going to slowly add new foods to his eating and trying to broaden his horizon with things that he likes to eat. I can also speak from history too, as when I was his age, I was a VERY picky eater and probably ADHD too.

Here are a few foods that he does love:

  • Spaghetti
  • Pizza
  • Mac & Cheese
  • Fruit
  • Chicken Nuggets & French Fries

Now, here are few ideas that we discussed of trying.

  • Chicken Parm (I use the same spaghetti sauce)
  • Succotash (I’m from the south, but I put a twist on this)
  • Grilled Cheese (I’ll post my recipe at a later date, as I make the bread from scratch and use 3 different cheeses).
  • Grilled squash and zuchinni
  • Sweet potatoes instead of regular potatoes

I have no idea how this experiment is going to go? But, I feel that as not only his father and someone that has struggled with the exact same eating pattern, but as the one that cooks in the house, I have to try something to expose him to new foods. As I continue to grow as a cook, I find myself challenging myself to try new things.

I love to cook. I love to cook for my kids and to be able to teach them new things and soon, new cooking techniques. The one thing that I want to be able to eliminate from my thinking, is what to cook. I don’t want to be stuck on the same ideas and menus. I want to broaden my children’s view and palate of food.

Now, I’m off to the kitchen.

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I have learned more about ADHD in the last several months than I ever thought that I would have to know. In talking with my son the other night, he started to tear up and start crying. The words hit me like a ton of bricks “Dad, I don’t have any friends.”

As a parent, I can not even begin to tell you how much my heart began to hurt. Words will never be able to truly describe that moment. I began to cry, but I also quickly thought to respond. I was able to reassure him that he did in fact have friends.

But the reality is simple, he doesn’t have many. So, I quickly found an article called Will My Child Ever Have a Best Friend? and this opening quote said it all:

Children with ADHD often invade personal spaces, blurt out rude comments, and play too rough — all of which makes it tough to keep friends.

This is it I thought! Exactly what I was thinking and feeling all wrapped up in once, because this is my son!

So, as some who that has to problem solve all day, I quickly thought through what can I do to help him? And the only way that I can help, is to create situations for him to be a better friend and to make new ones. I have contacted several of my friends that have kids and we are in the process of setting up play dates.

Is this going to help? Honestly, I don’t know, but I have to do something. As a parent, I have to do everything that I can to give him every opportunity to succeed and I wouldn’t be doing my job as his father if I did not try. We are signing him up also for a social skills class with other children that have ADHD as well, in hopes that he not only learns new coping skills but also to make new friends.

In the last year, I have seen a big change in my son and yes, medication is a HUGE factor. But I also think that he is learning more skills to cope with his outbursts as well. He isn’t jumping to accuse other kids and be so defensive. He is not being so fixated on something that he can’t get past situations and emotions.

Making friends as kids is already hard. Peer pressure. Differences. And to throw ADHD into the mix, it makes it harder. Not that it is something that he is not going to be able to overcome, but I think that it will help. My hope is that all of these things will help him establish friends and learn how to be a good friend to others.

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I was a little more than shocked to get a letter on Saturday morning that my son, Boy B, got most improved for the first quarter of the school year! This is a kid that has struggled in school. Not academically, but he has had issues controlling his emotions and being able to sit still in class.

To say that we have had a struggle with him would be an understatement. The struggles are just as real for him as they are for my wife and I. But, with all of the therapy, both the OT and child psychology are really starting to pay off.

When I got the letter, I was able to make it through the first sentence reading it to him. I was in tears and I rarely cry. But I was just so proud of my son. He has really embraced all that we have asked of him and not once has he asked why? Not once has he asked why does he go to OT and see a psychologist. Not once has he asked why does he take medicine every morning to help him focus?

So as my wife read the letter to him, he just beamed from ear to ear. And his brother, who got an award last year at school, was right there giving him a high five and cheering him on. It was really a great family moment.

So, in a time where most improved would be considered a small accomplishment, I view it as a proud moment. To see that look of accomplishment in my son’s face and for him to see how proud we were of him, is just priceless.

ADHD is not something to be afraid of or ashamed of, but my son, as have we, embraced who is and will continue to get him the help that he needs to overcome his struggles. But today, we celebrate the moment and his ability to overcome something that once caused him to struggle.

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We are wrapping up Week 1 of ADHD for my son and so far, not so bad. And by that, I really don’t know?

I didn’t know what to expect when we started the medication for him to be honest? I really expected him to oppose the medication and he has not at all.  Granted, his physician told us to give it to him in a spoonful of ice cream for breakfast, so who would really complain about that? But, I really don’t know the true effects of the medication either?

We have talked with his daycare provider on a daily and sometimes multiple times a day to get a gauge on his behavior and the two things that have stood out are:

  1. There hasn’t been a HUGE change. Meaning, he is a little more focused, but he is still getting frustrated.
  2. The medication is not lasting as long as we had hoped.

For the first item about still getting frustrated. This is kind of a no brainier, as he is still dealing with anxiety related issues. The hope is that over time those will be less of an issue because he is more focused. There are 2 quick thoughts to this: 1) the dosage is to low and 2) he is bored at daycare. And I personally think that it is a combination of the two. He loves going to the daycare, most days, but he and his brother are older by several years in most cases over the other kids.

As for the medication not lasting very long, most of the medications for ADHD claim to last up to 12 hours. Honestly, we are seeing 8 hours or less. And based off of the other indications, i.e. anxiety, wearing off around 3:00 pm we are going to call his physician tomorrow about upping his mediation by 5 mg.

This is all a trial and error. It is a trial and error for my wife and I as much as it is for my son and his brother. At this point, we are just trying to find the right combination for my son before he starts back to school, as this year, he will be required to complete homework assignments and today, he would not be able to focus on them long enough to complete them.

Tomorrow, we find out if his physician agrees that he needs to be moved up to a higher dosage, because school starts in just a few days.

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Well and there you go, 4 little letters this weekend, ADHD and now we have a diagnosis.

The last year has not been the easiest for us. We have have Boy B in Occupational Therapy and also seeing a child psychologist. And through all of these things, which he has grown a lot, we got the results of his psychological assessment.

Was I shocked, not really? I was actually more shocked when I shared with some family members the results and they asked if I was ok with the results? The results are what they are. Heck, I really was expecting him to fall on the autism spectrum. And besides, I’m not so sure that I did not and probably still do have characteristics of ADHD. So, no, I am not shocked.

But, I am learning at the speed of light some things that we will be doing differently. We have an appointment to his pediatrician this week, but we will also be drastically changing his diet. And just by a very quick Google search for ADHD diet for Children yielded a large list of ideas. Overall, it is interesting to discover how much nutrition plays a direct role into ADHD into the balance of the medication.

And yes, we have decided that, assuming that the Pediatrician wants to go the route of medication, which I am assuming they will, we are open to it. Are there pros and cons to medicine yes. And if you don’t agree with our decision, do I care what your opinion is? No! It is an opinion for a reason and I respectfully ask that you keep yours to yourself. We are making the best decision that we can for our son and we have sought out the advice of multiple people, both in the education and medical fields and they all agreed that medication was appropriate.

I had struggled for a long time about if we were faced with this decision, what would we do? I have struggled with an unknown factor, i.e. will my son’s personality be different? I have struggled with the fact of knowing that my son CAN NOT control his hyperactivity! I have seen it too many times. I have watched him struggle to focus. I have talked with his teachers and they have shared the same things that we were seeing at home.

I love my son. I love both of them equally. But my wife and I have to make the best decision for them, as they can not make the decision for themselves. And our hope and prayer, is that we are able to get the right balance of medication, diet and continued therapies so assist him, so that he is not on medication long term, but will be on it as long as he needs it.

The decision to put him on medication was not an easy one nor was it one that we took lightly. But, we are doing what will help him going forward, especially in school, to make him successful.

This is our new life. This is my son’s new life. He has a diagnosis. We finally know what we are dealing with, so that we can better deal with it. My sons are the most important thing to me and I will do what I can to give them the best that I can, even when it is going to be something like medication.

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