Grace

Sometimes in life, we find Grace when we least expect it and today was one of those days.

This morning, I was on the phone with my mom and shared a story about one of her friends that is a teacher and how her 6 year old son was just diagnosed with bone cancer. Around 8am this morning a friend of mine went in for a surgical procedure and needed prayers for healing. And I just read on Facebook that a friend of a friend just gave birth to a little boy, only to have 2 days later him die.

It is hard for me as a parent to hear of a child dying. I just can’t handle it. It is hard for me as a parent to hear that another parent has to witness their child going through chemo for cancer. It is hard for me as a friend, to watch a friend go through surgery. But as hard as it is for me to witness these things, it is 100 times harder for the person or parents going through it.

Today, for whatever reason has been a struggle. I am tired, I was up from 2:30 until with the boys. I have had a hard few weeks at work. I have felt day in and day out, that I’m just trying to get to tomorrow and I can enjoy a day off. I have been short, I have been frustrated, I have just been barely making it some days, but as I dropped the boys off at school this morning, something happened. Something that usually doesn’t happen, but it was my Grace moment.

After signing the boys in, getting their coats and shoes off and put away, they both stayed beside me waiting to hug and give me a kiss goodbye. But this time, they both hugged me at the same time and for a moment, life was ok. For a moment, nothing mattered. For a moment, I experienced grace.

As I have sat in my office this morning, door closed and just trying to push my way through a large amount of work, I have thought back to that moment. I have thought to how they both individually hugged me and then then together gave me a big hug. And before I left, they both whispered “I love you”. What more can I ask for?

 

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Grace can be defined by many ways, here are just a few from the Christianity section on About.com “Grace is God’s unmerited favor. It is kindness from God we don’t deserve. There is nothing we have done, nor can ever do to earn this favor. It is a gift from God. Grace is divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration (rebirth) or sanctification; a virtue coming from God; a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine favor.”

Things happen and we don’t know why. Things go wrong and you’ll often hear that that things happen for a reason, good or bad. Today was that day for my wife and I, as over the last few days we’ve talked a lot about her mom and her mom’s death.

  • My wife decided to visit the garden at the church that we attended and sit on the bench and have a few moments of quiet time.
  • While she was doing that, without talking with my wife, I was listening to the memorial service for her mom. I don’t know why, but I just had a feeling that I needed to listen to it today.
  • As my wife was sitting on the bench, she texted me to tell me where she was and I responded that I was listening to the sermon.
  • An hour later, a co-worker brought my wife a bottle of tea, as my wife looked at it, the name of the tea was the same name as her mom.

Were all of these things just odd and happenstance? Maybe, or maybe they were signs of Grace, a kindness that we don’t deserve?

Tonight, as I went to put the boys down, they were a little fussier than usual. They did not go down as fast as they normally do and that was ok, I was perfectly happy to rock them tonight. Tonight, I needed to hold them a little longer. Give them a few more kisses goodnight. And as I laid in the floor with Baby A, Baby B grabbed his pillow, bunny and blanket and snugged up to me on the floor. And as I watched him drift off to sleep, ever so peacefully, Baby A reached over and held my hand and he did so until he fell asleep.

For me, Grace is a gift. A gift that is done and provided so innocently. A gift that is given to us at a time that we need it the most. A gift that can sometimes not be explained. So, as I looked back on the day, the sermon especially, I thought about my wife’s mom’s death and thought about three of the most visible signs of Grace to me.

  1. How could God take my wife’s mother so soon. And yet, it is through Grace that we were not faced with having to make the difficult of end of life care decisions.
  2. I struggle in knowing that her mom will never know our children and yet, I take comfort through Grace, in feeling as they she has already met them.
  3. I weep when I think of the number of lives that she touched in her short time on earth and it is through Grace, that I take comfort in the fact that on the night of the visitation, over 1,500 people came to the church to spend 15 seconds with us and say a kind word or share a memory with us.

Grace. It is a small word that can mean so many different things to different people. But to me and especially today, Grace got me through a difficult day.

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