Sliding

Ever feel like your life is sliding out of control? I have, heck, I have this week.  To say that this has been a hard week, might be one of the biggest understatement for the week for me.

Just a few things that have happened: My mother in law died 6 years ago Monday,  yesterday I needed a Pep Talk from the boys, and today I was literally sliding while driving home.  I am done with this week.  I am done with the stress, the surprises, the snow, the emotions, the hurt and pain, I am just done with it all.

Work has been pretty stressful lately with trying to get a major campaign launched at work, but also when things go wrong, I am the one that people look to first to resolve the problem.  My wife has had to lean more on me this week while dealing with her Mom’s death and I have been trying to deal with it as well myself. I have questioned a lot this week about everything. And I have asked more questions of myself and life this week. And at the end of the day, I have realized that no matter what, my day wasn’t as bad as someone that has cancer or just getting news that they were dying.

Perspective? Sure, I got it. I work at a hospital and day in and day out, I see people who’s day is 100 times worse than mine.  Today, I left work early because I found out that our roads were not in the best of condition due to 3+ inches of snow that was falling. I picked up the kids early from school and we were literally sliding down on the road. Scared? HELL yes! We slid on two roads. The boys loved it, I was scared to death. We were sliding down the hill to our house and I felt like I have this entire week, out of control. And when I say that we were sliding down the hill, I mean, literally we were sliding down the hill and into a parking spot. Scared me to death.

But I was able to get the boys home and in the house and we were safe! SAFE, a word that I had not thought of all week. My boys were SAFE at home. My wife was able to get home and she too was SAFE and at some point, my day was not sliding anymore.

My world is my family. The week that we have had, has been really hard both emotionally and also physically. Dealing or not dealing with my mother in law’s death has been hard. And I say not dealing with her death, because I don’t know that I ever did,  but that is a blog for another time. My point is this, my life was sliding out of control this week. And for a few days, it bothered me. I was selfish. I focused on all of the outside factors in my life, but what I missed was simple, my worse days of sliding out of control doesn’t compare to the person finding out that they have cancer. It doesn’t compare to the family hearing that their loved one is dying or the family that has State Troopers on their door step asking to come, because they need to talk with them about their loved one that was in an accident and didn’t make it.

My worst day this week, doesn’t compare. Sure, I felt like my life was sliding out of control and maybe it was. But I got to hug and kiss my boys today. I got to hug and kiss my wife tonight. Work is work. But my life, though I was literally sliding out of control today, was not as bad as many others experienced today.