Sick

For the last 10 Days, my wife has been sick with an upper respiratory infection and for the last 7 days, I’ve been dealing with the same thing. It has really been hard on our family, because we still had to take care of our kids, while trying to get better.

I like to believe that any situation that we are faced, both if it is something good or a challenge like being sick, that my wife and I can learn from it so that the next time, we are able to handle it even better. Because there will be a next time.

The things that we did well:

  • We communicated a lot when I was at work & if I needed to come home early or pick up the kids from daycare.
  • We took turns putting the boys to bed. This allowed for at least one to get an earlier start to resting.

The things that we didn’t do as well:

  • We got short with each other, which is understandable because we were sick and didn’t have the patience.
  • We didn’t ask for help as quickly when we needed it.

10 days being sick is a long time. And it is especially harder when you are sick with children. But one thing that we both learned, is that we were able to come through it, the boys were ok, I’m all but over mine and my wife is getting there.

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Love is patient, love is kind.

How many times have you heard that at a wedding? But have you thought about it as it pertains to your kids? With twins, usually if one kid is sick, the other kid will get it too.

This morning, I was cooking breakast, listening to Miles Davis as the kids were playing. Baby A was getting over the croup cough and a fever and Baby B was coming down with a fever. And as I cooked, I thought of a familiar Bible verse and I thought about it in a completely different way:

love is patient, love is kind

Baby A was trying us, he was tired, he was fussy, he was trying to fight with his brother who was fighting a fever and I was trying to cook breakfast and the kids were fighting on sofa and it hit me

Love is patient, love is kind

and it can really mean multiple things at different times in our lives.  It can be a bible verse that is read during your wedding, in times of trouble, I have even heard that verse read at a funeral, but not once have I read/heard that verse rreferenced to child raising.

Today was a trying day.  One kid that was on the minds, one kid that was fighting a fever and my patience was really being tested.  I was struggling to be able to cook and do a little cleaning while the boys were fighting. But, as I thought about the verse, the word that hit me the hardest was love. Because without love, there is no patience. Without love, none of this happens.

So as we get one boy over a sickness and another through the sickness, love remains.

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Ever have one of those moments as a parent that you just know, you really should go ahead and clear your calendar for the next day, because your child is going to be sick?  Well, that happened to me last night and this afternoon.

Last night Baby A started coughing, granted I was watching the Elections and my wife was taking care of the kids, but I could just tell by his coughing, that not only would he be up later that night, but that I would be taking today off to be with him. Sure enough, I went upstairs after midnight, most races had been called or at least there was a good idea of the direction that they were heading in and there laid Baby A, in my spot. He had a fever. A fever = no daycare.

Before I had gone upstairs, I quickly looked at my calendar for today, realized that I could move things around, work a little from home and take care of him, as my wife was on call. But all I could think of was that sometimes a being sick gets in the way. It wasn’t like he intended to be sick and it wasn’t like last month my wife planned to be on call today when he was sick. It is what it is. It is life. It is part of being a parent. And yes, I am fortunate enough to have understanding bosses and more importantly, an even better staff that can handle things while I’m out.

Throughout the day, I talked off and on with my mom, describing Baby A’s symptoms, coughing (he was diagnosed with Croup last year) and a low grade fever. And I was telling her how he was eating and drinking plenty of fluids and playing, but that he was still warm.  And then she started asking questions about his demeanor and symptoms and I said yes to everything she asked only to find out at the end, he is going through the same thing that I did at his age and there wasn’t anything that I could do about it, other than get the fever down and put him in the shower and get some steam into his lungs. And my mom said simply, sometimes in life, “being sick gets in the way.”

Life is hard, we have busy schedules and things that we want to do. But in life, sometimes being sick gets in the way. Kids don’t choose to get sick. They don’t want to feel bad. They don’t want to miss out with what is going on at school or sports, but it happens. And as much as of inconvenience that was to rearrange my day today and now also for tomorrow too, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Words that I hate saying more than anything else. Baby A woke up throwing up and Mommy had him uncontrolled. I made it 15 minutes into my commute when I got the text message, “Mommy is sick, please come back home.”

Turn around. Was able to get all of my meetings rescheduled and started sending emails to staff that I would be out of the office today. Got my wife to bed. Started getting the boys ready, changed, and then Baby A threw up all over me. And in that moment, he looks at me and apologizes and says that he is sorry that his tummy doesn’t feel good. Bless his heart.

I got him cleaned and changed, unloaded the diswasher and then reloaded it again. This could be a really long day, I hate it when Mommy is sick.

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Growing up in North Carolina, I UNC Basketball was a way of life. And the rivalries in Tobacco Road with NC State and Dook, these were things that we lived for.  But being a die hard UNC Basketball fan, you learned by watching the legendary coach, Dean Smith. Because, it was not about the individual or the individual awards, but it was about the team. It was about pointing to another player if they give you a pass to score, as a way to say thank you. It was the words of encouragement to lift a team up that is trailing to come back and win the game.

Dean Smith was not a fan of the lime light. He did not want the Dean E. Smith Center to be named for him, because he wasn’t the one the won the games, the team did. That was how Coach Smith was, he didn’t want the attention on him. I was fortunate to meet Coach Smith on a few occasions and he could not have been nicer. He always looked you directly in the eye and made it a point to ask what we wanted to do with our lives and the importance to school. Looking back on that, it is really exactly what I would expect from a teacher.

Coach Smith has been in the media a lot lately, not for his coaching, but for the loss of the man. Not physically, but mentally. Coach Smith has dementia, which in my opinion is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Dean Smith could remember players names, games, plays, the team managers, but now that is long gone. I found this article yesterday and I couldn’t stop reading it, not because of the way the article talked about how Coach Smith is doing today, but because of all the games, the things that he did for the university in breaking the racial barriers, etc. Coach Smith was a pioneer in many ways, but he was a coach that cared for others first.

I have a DVD that was produced a few years ago for Carolina Basketball and it highlights Coach Smith, so I am able to go back and watch highlights of games that I remember from growing up. I just hate that my boys will never get to see him coach or meet him, because there will never be another Dean Smith.

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The words that no parent ever wants to hear from their child’s Doctor. But those are the words I heard the other morning.  Baby A has been having a pretty rough time lately with a really bad cold. But he started getting better and then literally overnight, he was coughing and the coughing turned to croup.  The cough didn’t get any better after a day or two so we called the Pediatrician to have him checked out, because his breathing was a little different this time. He was still playing, eating and acting like himself for the most part, but this time, he sounded like Darth Vadar when he breathed.

The Doctor and I were talking and she very calmly told me, that Baby A as expected had the Croup cough, but that he also had Stridor, which is something that I had never heard of. I give the Doctor a lot of credit, I guess she saw a little bit of panic in my face and she basically explained the treatment, which was a steriod and if that did not resolve the problem, that we would need to goto the ER for breathing treatments. But, she suggested that we drive with the windows down on the drive home and then also going to the playground, because with it being a chilly day, the cold air will help with his breathing.

So, that is what we did. Got the prescription field, drove home with the windows down and then after his nap, we went to the playground. It was cold running after he and his brother, but it helped. We did not have to goto the ER, this time at least. And I’m sure that at some point, we will, but we were at least able to avoid it for the time being him.

We are almost a week into the cold, again, and I think that we are getting over the hump of the cold. Or I hope at least. But, I will say two things: 1) I hope that you have a great Pediatrician that you trust and that is available, even on the weekends and 2) please look for the signs for Croup and Stridor. Though not super dangerous, from what I’ve read, the Stridor portion can be if not monitored. And even though I love Star Wars, I can’t imagine talking like Darth Vadar is a fun thing.

 

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When does it end? The boys have now turned two and have been alternating fevers and their hands shoved in their mouths.

I hate seeing the boys suffer, because they have to be in pain. And with a fever, they aren’t feeling like themselves.

I am just ready for the teething to end.

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There is nothing harder than when your child is sick. And it is even worse when there is really nothing that you can do for them.  For the last several days, both of the boys have been sick, low grade fevers, coughing, etc. We took one to the doctor, because he was the one demonstrating the signs of a cold.  And the doctor basically said that as long as he was drinking fluids and his fever was below 103, we were good and that it would just run its course.

But it doesn’t change the fact that it is hard to watch your child being sick. All I can do is hold him, keep giving him fluids and hope that this cold goes away sooner, rather than later.

In doing some internet searches, I did find a few possible home rem-ides that we did try to help as well:

  • Vicks Vapor Rub – both on their chests and feet, especially at night.
  • Humidifier and we have a Vicks Vapor strip in the humidifier to keep mist going.
  • A little honey in their juice – this is supposed to help coat their throats for the coughing & it is recommended that you brush your child’s teeth after doing this.
  • Take a tablespoon of Vicks Vapor Rub and a tablespoon of water and place it into the top of the Scentsy candle holder.

Have any of these worked? Who knows? But if it helps just a little bit to take away my kids sickness, then I am willing to give it a try. I know how I feel when I have a cold, but I can verbalize how I feel and what hurts and that I don’t want to eat or drink anything, but the boys can not. There is nothing worse than watching your child being sick.

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Being sick is hard enough as an adult, but I think that being sick as a parent is even harder. It is not just, take care of yourself, rest and feel batter. no, it is all of those things, and take care of your kids.

Well, tonight, my wife is sick, probably with a cold. So, I get to be super dad. I am taking care of the kids, got them ready for bed and then took care of my wife. It definitely makes for a long night. The kids are down, I have a cold Flying Dog Pale Ale and just threw in the classic movie Swingers.

So tonight, as I settle down for the evening, I hope that the boys sleep well, that my wife feels better and that the sofa isn’t too uncomfortable.

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Is there anything worse than sick child?  Especially when they are young and are unable to tell you what is wrong.  Recently one of our boys got the stomach virus and was throwing up and had an upset stomach. It was hard keeping him comfortable and nights were even harder, because even though he was tired, he did not want to sleep.

The first thing that I did, was call my mom and ask her what to do. This was my first experience with a sick child and even though I thought that I knew what to do, I wanted some reinforcements from someone with more experience.  After we talked, I felt better and felt more comfortable with what I was doing, which was just comforting him and making sure that he kept drinking fluids to stay hydrated. We also called the Dr’s office to let them know and also to find out if there was anything else that we could do.

And yes, we all ultimately got the stomach virus, but it is one thing to get it as an adult, but a sick child is hard to watch, especially when you are the parent.

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