Family

Today is a sad day for my family, as it was 3 years ago today, that my wife’s mother was killed in a tragic car accident.  Our lives have been forever changed due to an event that happened in a split second and though my mother in law has never seen or held our sons here on earth, I will forever believe that she got to see them before we did.  I don’t know why I feel that way, but it just gives me a little bit of comfort in knowing that.

Moms, you are loved & missed and there isn’t a day that goes by that you are not thought of or that we tell the boys about you. Even though the boys will never physically know you, they will know all about you, both through the pictures that they will see and the stories that our family and friends will share with them.

Here are the lyrics to Mark Schultz’s song Remember Me, which is what I was listening to when I got the call that snowy afternoon. I will share with you with the chorus only:

And age to age
And heart to heart
Bound by grace and peace
Child of wonder, Child of God
I’ll remember you
Remember Me

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Disciplining children is a very touchy subject. Before my wife and I got married this was one of the topics that we discussed and we both wanted to make sure that we were on the same page before we had children.

I was raised in a military home, so I was required to say “yes sir” “no sir” “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am”, which I still say today. But, at the same time, rules and boundaries were set and if I misbehaved, I was disciplined. The disciplining ranged from a spanking to being sent to my room, to running laps around the house, yard work, etc.

So, what my wife and I decided that we would do, is that we would discuss the punishments together, this allows for a cooling off period as well as making sure that we are thinking the same, but that we will talk with our children once the punishment has been given out. We want to make sure that our children understand right from wrong and learn from their mistakes. Disciplining is a touchy subject, as well as a hard subject, because disciplining a child can have an adverse reaction.

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Marriage is hard, but the first year of marriage with kids, is pretty rough too. Focusing on each other is important and shouldn’t be overlooked. Yes, the first priority should be the kids, but then, you still have to spend time for each other.

Here are some things that we do:

  • Date night is important and we have tried to focus on going out once a month. To help save money, find another couple and offer to baby sit for free so that they too can enjoy a date night and then they can watch your kids when you need a night out on the town.
  • Eat dinner together after the kids go to bed and talk about our day. I think that this will change once the boys are able to talk, as I hope that we will all eat together at the dinner table together.
  • We talk, and we try to avoid the basic small talk, but we talk about the kids, work, if we are on track with our goals for the year. And actually listen, not think about 10 things that have to be done tomorrow.

Remember, before there were kids, it was just you two and you have to spend time on each other as well.

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So we had a first this past week, we all got sick. Sunday night, we were feeding the boys and one threw up immediately after eating. After cleaning him up, which he was very happy in the bath tub and laughing a lot, we just blew it off as a fluke thing. The next night, same thing. So Tuesday while at work, I get a call from my wife asking me to come home, b/c she was now sick.I walk in the house, grab the boys and start feeding them their mid morning bottles and the other baby started throwing up.

Fast forward to 8pm that night and I had gotten the boys to bed and checked on my wife, when I realized that I didn’t feel well. It was then we realized that we had contracted a 24 hour stomach virus. One of the biggest problems that comes with this virus is how tired and weak you after getting sick. So, we had to call in reinforcements yesterday and we had my wife’s father come and watch the boys. Had it not been for him, we really aren’t sure how we would have survived yesterday.

 

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I know that for many, exercising more is at the top of your New Years resolutions.  For us, it is a goal too, but to cut back on extra expenses, my wife and I decided to cancel our gym membership for now. The gym offered daycare, but it was for children 5 and up. So, instead of paying $80 a month to go to the gym, we now take the boys to the mall and walk around. It is good exercise and we can all be together. Soon, when the boys start walking, this might prove to be a challenge, but until then, it saves us money, my wife and I are able to get a nice walk in and the boys are with us. Family fun.

First goal during the winter months: 1 – 2 trips to the mall for walks a week.
Second goal during the spring and summer months: 1 – 2 trips to the park a week to walk.

The family walks will help the boys get out and enjoy the fresh air, but it will also  help my wife and I with our goals of losing weight.

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As many people start the 2012, New Years Resolutions are being made and most will be stopped by March, as mine have in years past. I hope that by publishing my resolutions, I can keep track of them easier and focus on them more. So here goes:

1) Spend more time with my boys
2) Save more money – both for the boys College but for the family & I am hoping that by cutting down on eating out, using more coupons and the boys switching from formula to milk in a few months, that this will be an achievable goal.
3) Exercise more – I would like to start doing 2 – 3 days a week of cardio, which should be doable since there is a 1 mile walking path at work.
4) Pay down debt – Pay down at least 3 credit cards and finish paying off 1 college loan for my wife.

So, as we start the new year, let’s hope that I am able to do better this year than in previous with my 2012 New Years Resolutions.

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Today was everything that I had hoped. The boys had a great Christmas day, we went to church as a family, we were able to see and spend a lot of time today with family and friends as well. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

As I reflect on the year thus far, we have been truly blessed. We have our health, we have two wonderful and healthy boys and we have a wonderful support system.

I am taking the rest of the week off to spend time with the boys and family. So from my family to yours, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years.

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As I type this out today, I sit with excitement in anticipation of my sons 1st Christmas. The boys will have no memory of tonight. We will take the boys to church tonight for the Christmas Eve Family Service at 5pm, then we will feed them, put them down at 7pm and then I will return to church at 11pm for the late service. The 11pm Christmas Eve service that I started attending when years ago and it is just a tradition that I will continue as long as I live.

And to keep with tradition, I am pretty sure that I’ll be checking on Santa’s progress with NORAD throughout the night, I just never disclose that I am 35 when I email and ask for updates of when Santa will be in our area. I can’t help it, I’m a big kid too. I’ll stay up late watching It’s A Wonderful Life when I return from church after midnight and fall asleep sometime after 3am. A few hours of sleep is all I will need, as I can not wait until Christmas morning and seeing the boys play with new their toys.

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas.

 

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My wife and I had been married for 3 years when we found out that we were expecting our little boys. Now going on year 4 of our marriage, we have two little boys, how is our life going to change? What new traditions will we start together as a family of 4 now?

So here is what we have started thus far for our new traditions:
1) Saturday morning breakfast – every Saturday morning, the boys and I get up at 6am, I feed them a bottle and we come downstairs and watch the news together.
2) At our church, which is a Methodist church, we observe communion once a month. Even though we take the boys to the nursery during the service, we do get them and take them to the front of the church for communion. For my wife and I, communion is a very sacred thing and we want our boys to experience that with us, as a family. The boys are too young obviously to partake in communion, but the ministers pray over them as we proceed to take communion.
3) My wife and I alternate the feedings with the boys. Most week nights, we both feed the boys at 6am and at 7pm and then obviously on the weekends, we have them all day, but we alternate feeding the boys each night, so tonight I get one and then the next night, I would feed the other baby. And whoever we feed, we put down to sleep that night.

My wife and I have tried to combine some of the traditions that we had already established and now we are creating new traditions with the boys.

What traditions have you started?

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