September 2018

Well, we made it! We made it to 10 years of marriage and lived to tell about it.

Life hasn’t been always easy, in fact, I think that it was summed up best by our minister when he did our marriage counseling. I’ll never forget him looking at us, holding our hands and taking a deep breath. And then he laughed and reminded us that it was OK to laugh and that we had been through a lot already.

A brief recap of from our first 10 years and this is in no particular order:

  • My wife’s mom was killed in a car accident, 4 months after we got married.
  • We lost both our paternal grandmothers and my wife just lost her maternal grandmother.
  • I lost my grandfather, who I was very close with.
  • I lost a job and got a better job.
  • We struggled for 2 years to have the boys and were finally successful with IVF.
  • Did I mention we tried for 2 years and through that we FAILED a lot.
  • Three car accidents with one being serious.
  • There have been good days and some really hard days.
  • We have struggled financially.
  • Been blessed financially too, as my wife and I both have good jobs.
  • Got a great dog.
  • The boys have succeed at school.
  • One of the boys was diagnosed with ADHD & anxiety disorder.
  • The other boy is a very talented athlete.

So those were just a few of the things that we went through. And many of those, were in the first 2 – 3 years of our marriage. But, through each one of the challenges and successes, we came out stronger together.

To celebrate and I mean that literally celebrate, we went away last weekend, just the two of us. Rented a cabin in the mountains and just relaxed. And it was fun to just reconnect.

Our daily lives are pretty crazy. My wife’s job has unpredictable schedules, which is all that the boys know. But this is our lives. It isn’t always easy, but what marriage is?

This is our first 10 years!  I was quickly reminded of the most used verse used at weddings and it still is true today!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New International Version (NIV)

Now, what do the next 10 years look like?

We have already started planning. Talking about where we want to move next. Our kids and their progress through school. My son’s athletic abilities and where would it be best for him to learn more techniques and sports specific training?

Last weekend, we talked a lot about finances. Where we are and more importantly, where we want to be! There will be a future post on that.

But today, we celebrate!

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At 3:00 a.m. I woke up out of a not so deep sleep and prayed. And prayed like I had not done in a really long time.

I prayed and asked God to help me be a better person, father, husband and friend. This has been a struggle for me lately. I have conflicted with what I wanted to do with my career. I have just plan and simple struggled lately.

As I grow older and as I continue to evolve as a person, some days, are just easier to manage than others. I try to do right by my family, but sometimes, I fail. Last night, was a failure.

I am not proud of my behavior last night as it consisted of a lot of alcohol. And then I was mean to my wife and did not have a lot of patience with the kids. And I have no one to blame but myself. I was a jerk and that is saying a lot because I HATE that word.

So, as I was laying on the sofa because one of the boys got in our bed and our room was hot. And as I was thinking through the hours prior and felt beyond embarrassed and more importantly, disappointed in myself, I prayed.

At that moment, it was all that I could do, at that moment. Once my wife was up, I apologized and we talked. And I apologized more. She forgave me, but what came from that talk with a deeper understanding of changes that I want to make in my life.

I hate that I was not myself last night and allowed alcohol to alter my ability to be in control. But, I am also grateful that as I prayed this morning, there was a peace that came over me as well. I regret last night, more than words, but I hope that my actions, lead to making me a better person.

As I read the Serenity Prayer this morning, this 1 bible verse hit me and the interesting thing, several friends on Facebook posted the same verse today too as their status.

“Be still and know that I am God!” – Psalms 46:10

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