August 2018

Summer is coming to an end and it is back to school time! The boys are both excited and there is reservation too.

We went to school the other night for meet the teachers night and they were able to see all of their friends and meet their teachers. The summer has been great though and I hate to see it come to an end. But, it is going to be great to get the boys back on schedule too.

I have heard the boys talk about excitement and fear. One of the boys is already concerned about not having friends. I did find a cool video that we have been watching, which is on YouTube and has been helpful to watch at night. If you have a few moments, watch Howard B. Wigglebottom and enjoy.

As we get closer and closer to the school starting, the anxiety will get a little higher, but at the same time. Deep breaths are key parents. Lot of deep breaths.

Remember that going back to school can be more difficult on kids than on parents, because they are dealing with the unknown.

 

 

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Cooking for a child with ADHD is sometimes a struggle.

I have spent a lot of time over the last week trying to come up with a list of foods that my son will eat. So here is the list of things that I came up with that I know that he likes and a list of things that I things that I think that he might like and that he will be trying.

  • Spaghetti
  • Tacos
  • Chicken Nuggets
  • French fries
  • Fruit
  • Yogurt
  • Homemade pizza
  • Fried rice
  • Mac & Cheese
  • Pretzels with cheese dip
  • Homemade grilled cheese
  • Oatmeal
  • Shakes
  • Creme Brulee (because what 7 year old doesn’t love it?)

Now, for the recipes that I’ll be trying in the next few weeks.

  • Sweet potato fries (baked)
  • more vegetable – Sous Vide Green Beans & baked zucchini and squash
  • Chicken Parm
  • Zucchini crisps
  • Breakfast burritos modified (eggs, bacon and potatoes)
  • Breakfast muffins (eggs, sausage, bacon and cheese)
  • Cauliflower rice
  • Ham & Cheese sandwiches
  • Chicken soup
  • Chicken and Cheese Quesadilla
  • And more

Picky eaters are hard to cook and plan for and a child with ADHD makes cooking slightly more challenging. Because he snacks all day long, it makes dinner time difficult, not to mention that he is a very picky eater too. I am going to have my son to start helping me more in the kitchen to get him involved. This I hope will get him more interested in the foods that he is eating.

I will also be posting these recipes here on the website too, in hopes that maybe some of you with picky eaters or children with ADHD can use them to help them eat a little better and more as well.

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As we are winding down our summer vacation, I thought that I would share a few thoughts from or post vacation. These will be in no order and may only be simple thoughts.

  • This was the first time in my professional career, that I was ever able to take off more than 5 business days at a time.
  • There were a lot of laughs and some tears (future blog post).
  • We had a great time going to several different beaches in North Carolina.
  • I was able to take my son’s where I went to college at UNCW
  • We were able to go by Bitty & Beau’s Coffee Shop & if you don’t know about them, you are missing out. Great coffee and an even better cause!
  • Ran into a high school friend.
  • Saw family.
  • Forgot how much I miss living in North Carolina
  • 1 word BBQ! If you love BBQ and haven’t been to Sam’s Jones BBQ, shame on you.
  • Relaxation – something that I have been desperately needing.

So those are just a few thoughts from the trip. There will be more added I am sure, but it was good to get away. And something that has become a tradition with us, is that before we got home, we already planned out not 1, but 3 possible trips.

1 – back to North Carolina

2 – a quiet getaway for my wife and I, unsure of the destination of that one.

3 – depending on a few things financially, DISNEY, again!

For me, this post vacation recap is more for my own memories. The boys will remember the ocean and playing with their cousins and the water park for sure. For me, it was a time to step away from life and refocus. Think about what I want to do long term with my career. Where do we want to live? What do I want to do and how can I better help others?

A lot of thoughts and discussions were had these last several days. And I truly grateful that I took a longer vacation. Sure, I’ll be further behind at work. But, what is more important? Being behind or spending time with my wife and kids?

 

 

 

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Growing up, I was not one of my father’s top priorities. That does not make him a bad person, but a fact is a fact.

I remember begging at times to play catch, throw a football, heck anything so that he would spend time with me. But I was often brushed aside for a work call or something else. I desperately wanted that love and affection from my father and I really wanted his time.

Fast forward to the day that I find out that I was going to have the twins and I looked at my wife and always vowed to our family the top of my priorities. My career was taking off at the time, but I had to find a balance between work and family.

I made a decision to balance work and my family and it is a decision that I have never once regretted. My boys and I laugh and play. We cook together and we play catch nightly. We even have our own secret hand shake.

So why do I share these things? Maybe it is an affirmation that I’m trying my best to be a good father? Maybe it is my letting go of the fact that my father put things in front of me and that I wasn’t a priority for him?

Regardless of the reason, I love being a father. I love that my son’s trust me to ask questions that they will not ask my wife. Perfect example, read the post on The Hardest Part of Life and understand, my wife works in end of life care, not me! I stare at computers all day and think about things to cook when I get home.

Having children is hard, no question about it. Having twins is no different than parents that have multiple children that are different ages, it is just that, the difference of ages. We all struggle. We all try our best to put our kids as our top priority. Sometimes, we fail at this, that is just life.

I know that for me personally, there is no greater feeling that being called Dad. There is nothing more that I look forward to in the morning, than seeing the boys when they first wake up. And after a long commute home, seeing my son waiting for me with our baseball gloves and ball, waiting for me to pull up.

By the time that I get home from work, I am tired. I normally spend 2 hours plus of driving a day, then meetings, emails, etc. I would love to be able to walk in the door and just lay on the sofa and rest. But that isn’t life.

I walk in the house, change clothes and get ready to go and play catch. We talk about their day. We work on fundamentals. We talk about what we are cooking for dinner that night. And more importantly, we laugh and spend time together.

I have friends that do not have kids that talk about taking naps and sleeping in. And some days, I would like to throat punch them. But I would not change this for anything.

So this afternoon, after coming home for a long day at the office, a long commute and drenched in sweet (I don’t have AC in my jeep), I will smile and change clothes and spend at least 30 minutes playing catch. And I only have 1 word that I will leave you with, PRIORITIES!

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The hardest part of life is losing those family members that we love.

That was the conversation that my son and I had the other night at bed time. And it really hit me because he said it with tears in his eyes.

We are going to see my grandmother next week, who is 94 years old. And there is a good probability that this might be the last time that we get to see her. And as hard as it is on me, because I will be saying goodbye to my last grandparent, this will be the 3rd loss for my boys in about a year.

But as I sat in the floor, holding my son’s hand and praying that I could find the right words to say to him, I was reminded that my boys ask me these questions for a reason. So, I took a deep breath and begin to talk about life and death and that we should focus on the today and not worry about tomorrow. And as we talk, that lead to other questions and more of me trying to find the right words.

I tried my best to bring my son comfort. I tried to give the best answers to his questions that I could. And once he seemed to accept my answers, I wiped away his tears and he wiped away mine. He laid his head on his pillow and holding my hand whispered “Dad, the hardest part of life, is losing those family members that we love.”

For a 7 year old, my youngest is an old soul. He is thoughtful and very much a deep thinker. He analyzes and worries about things, that I wished that he wouldn’t have gotten from me, but did. I don’t know that when I was his age, that I was thinking about the life and death spectrum?

As he drifted off to sleep, I thought about my answers. I had hoped and prayed that I could bring him comfort. I had hoped that I could take his worry and turn it into hope. But at the end of the day, he is right. One of the hardest part of life is losing those family members that we love. But I truly believe that if we focus on the time we have with them, that even though the pain will be there when they are no longer, we will have memories to hold on to.

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