June 2018

As we hit the middle of the week and after a long weekend with the death of my wife’s grandmother, I’m looking forward to our camping trip this weekend. Camping isn’t something that I did a lot of as a kid, but it is something that is helping me get back to being grounded.

There is something to be said for stepping away from TV, modern technology, etc. and going camping for a long weekend. And this is really no difference. With my career pulling me in many different directions on a daily basis, down time is definitely in order.

And the great thing about camping, no WIFI! First world problems right there. For the first time, I’ll be disconnected. I will not have internet access for about 48 hours.

My anxiety is high already about not being connected, but there is also a sense of relief!

There is a feeling that if I can get through 48 hours, then maybe I can start doing this more frequently on weekends and build my way up to our family vacation in August. I have been really trying hard to learn how to relax. I’ve started doing daily meditations and yoga and I think that going camping will also help too.

As I get older I realize that I need time away. I need distractions. I need to get lost? But what I really need is time with my family. I need to give them my attention. I need to give them my time.  And I hope that while we are out camping this weekend and making memories, that I also teach them that when they are father’s, that spending time will be important to their kids too.

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If you are on social media, which by the time my kids are old enough to read this, they will never know about Transformation Tuesday or Thursday. But it got me thinking this morning, as my wife and I have been talking about changes that we both want to make.

Transformation: noun
  1. the act or process of transforming.
  2. the state of being transformed.
  3. change in form, appearance, nature, or character. (dictionary.com)

So here are a few things that we’ve been discussing:

  1. Working out 2 – 3 days a week & take a family walk on the weekend.
  2. Drink more water and less alcohol. This is beneficial for a lot of reasons, but if nothing else the calories.
  3. Eat more fruit and vegetables.
  4. Find a new church (not that we want a new church, but we moved and our amazing church is too far to drive each week.)

Why is this important? Well, outside of the obvious, it will allow us to be healthier, it will also create more family events and time together. As our kids get older, the importance of doing things together, is becoming a greater need. But also, so is simplicity and scaling back our lives.

My wife and I have been blessed beyond words, as have our children. And something that we try to share with them on a daily basis, is that not all children are as lucky. We are trying to include them in these transformations as well, to realize that they have a great life. So as we start and in some cases, continue this process, there will be some starts and stops along the way.

As I get older, I realize how our thoughts and views constantly change. Who I am today, is very different than who I was at 21, 30, and even 40. Transformations are a constant evolution of who we are and how we think and experience life.

 

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My son, Boy B is a very picky eater. If he could live on fruit, pizza and Doritos, he would be loving life. But the reality is, he needs to be eating other things. I’ve spent time reading and looking at cookbooks, as well as a million and one Google searches trying to find new things that he will eat.

So this morning, he and I talked and I explained my need to figure out what to cook for him and he seemed to get it. So for the next 15 minutes, he gave me ideas.  I don’t know that we got too far with the ideas of new things for him to eat, but for 15 minutes, we laughed, we talked about what he loved to eat and how important it was for him to be trying new things.

Having a child that is a picky eater, that is also ADHD and has sensory issues, is a challenge. But, I’ve been faced with a lot of challenges in my life thus far and what is one more? So, together and he and I are working on things that not only I can cook for him, but things that he can help me cook.

I’m starting to realize, that there might be a connection with foods, ADHD and being a picker eater, but I’m hoping that by involving him in the cooking process, he will be more open to trying new things. And understand, I have zero scientific basis for my thoughts, other than what I see everyday.

So this week, we start working on new recipes for him and I’m going to slowly add new foods to his eating and trying to broaden his horizon with things that he likes to eat. I can also speak from history too, as when I was his age, I was a VERY picky eater and probably ADHD too.

Here are a few foods that he does love:

  • Spaghetti
  • Pizza
  • Mac & Cheese
  • Fruit
  • Chicken Nuggets & French Fries

Now, here are few ideas that we discussed of trying.

  • Chicken Parm (I use the same spaghetti sauce)
  • Succotash (I’m from the south, but I put a twist on this)
  • Grilled Cheese (I’ll post my recipe at a later date, as I make the bread from scratch and use 3 different cheeses).
  • Grilled squash and zuchinni
  • Sweet potatoes instead of regular potatoes

I have no idea how this experiment is going to go? But, I feel that as not only his father and someone that has struggled with the exact same eating pattern, but as the one that cooks in the house, I have to try something to expose him to new foods. As I continue to grow as a cook, I find myself challenging myself to try new things.

I love to cook. I love to cook for my kids and to be able to teach them new things and soon, new cooking techniques. The one thing that I want to be able to eliminate from my thinking, is what to cook. I don’t want to be stuck on the same ideas and menus. I want to broaden my children’s view and palate of food.

Now, I’m off to the kitchen.

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Your friends and I mean, your true friends will help you keep your accountability in life. Trust me on this guys, when you have a close friend that can help you get through life’s biggest challenges.

I know that for me, I’ve been lucky to have two very good friends that have always been there for me, they have kept me accountable to working out, being a better person, etc. They know things about me that, if I leave this world early, they will be able to share these stories and many more.

My point is very simple, a good friend that will be there for you through the good and bad, is worth more in this lifetime than anything. A friend that will be able to hold you accountable even when you don’t want to hear, is someone that you want in your corner.

Accountability is crucial thing in life and not something that you should take lightly.

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Sometimes, it rains in life. I know, not a very deep thought there, but the phrase “rain” could be used for a multitude of things.

Boy A has not been able to play baseball with his teammates in almost a month, because of the rain. And when he asked this morning if he was going to play, I just said “buddy, sometimes, it rains.” And it stinks for a kid to hear that, but it is true.

I used the word rain very carefully in explaining the cancellation of his game today, because it is not just playing baseball. My wife and I have started a weekly conversation about were we are financially for the week, progress of paying off debt, things that we need to be thinking about and focusing on for the coming weeks.

There has been a lot going on lately in our lives, ranging from my son’s surgery all the way to my wife deciding to short sale her condo. This has been a debt that has heavily weighed on us and I can not begin to count the number of sleepless nights that I have had over this property. This was the house that my wife purchased about 2 months before we had our first date, so we had never even met!

This is the house where my wife cooked for me for the first time, where my children spent the first 4 years of their life and a place where we laughed, cried and figured out how to start being a married couple. So there were a lot of feelings with this one, both good and bad. And taking the emotional side out of it, this hurts my wife in a lot of ways, primarily in her credit.

So today, as I type this and cook lunch for the boys, I look over our finances and though we are no were near where I want us to be! I do for the first time see a light at the end of the tunnel. My family is safe. My kids are healthy. And though I have struggled with the idea of doing a short sale, for many reasons, after getting some really good advice from a family friend, I agreed.

And as I told my son this morning, “sometimes, it rains”, I realized that I wasn’t just telling him that about his game. But I was I was also giving myself from reassurance too, because if this short sale goes through, yes it will be a though time financially for the next several years for us, but we will also not be sitting under the dark cloud that this condo has placed over us.

So in life, sometimes it does rain, but after the rain stops, there is often times a big rainbow too.

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