January 2018

I realized this morning, that I really do not like who I am becoming. I do not mean that as a negative, but really more of a fact.

This morning before leaving the office, I was tense and on edge. One of the boys spelled some of his milk and did not tell me, and when my wife found it became a HUGE issue. Was it blown out of proportion,  maybe?  But she was not happy and I was on the receiving of that.

So my response was a simple reminder that I was getting ready to start my hour and a half commute, that I had a day full of meetings and then I would be driving another hour and a half back home after work. And it was then I realized, who I am becoming is someone that I do not like.

The argument that my wife and I had this morning, was not over the spilled milk. It was over my job.
My work load has tripled and there is a chance in literally the next few weeks, that it could do so again. I am on edge the time that I leave the house until I come home and often times, it is now taking me hours to settle down.

And that time that it takes for me to relax, is time that I’m not me. I’m frustrated. I’m short with my wife and my kids and I don’t mean to be, but I’m struggling. I am really trying to keep it all together. I’m focused on ensuring that my teams at work are doing their jobs and at the same time, when I walk in the door at home that I switch gears.

So this weekend, the phone goes away. My focus and attention is going to be spent on my family and I am going to try to relax some. In order to change to who I want to be, I have to change who I am becoming.

 

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I’m often asked if the boys do everything together and I quickly remind them, there are two boys with two identities. People just assume that the boys have the same interests and the same friends, but in reality, they are completely different.

The boys have completely different interests, but they have some commonalities too. They both love cartoons and especially Pokemon. They are both really getting into drawing and stretching their creative mindset by drawing comic books and telling stories.

But at the same time, they are completely different as well. One loves sports, the other doesn’t. One likes quiet time, the other wants to run and be loud.

Having twins is a wonderful and sometimes frustrating thing at times. People ASSUME certain things because we have two kids that are the exact same age. But in reality, no two kids have the same personality. That is what makes them unique! Two kids = two identities.

I want my kids to be different. I want them to have different friends and different interests. How boring would it be if they did everything the same?

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At the age of 41, almost 42, never did the phrase “I need to do yoga” ever cross my mind as something that I would be saying. Somewhere along the way of life, I realized that my knees would not hold up enough for me to be a runner anymore.

Yoga has become a great way to be a stress reliever from work and life, but also gives me a chance to workout. I’ve gained more flexibility in the last several weeks, than I had in years of going to the gym.

My wife and I had decided to get back into working out, but we not only had different goals, but we had different preferences of what we used to work out with. She went with Beachbody and that is great, it works for her, but it didn’t work for me. I went with DDP Yoga, which challenged me and I was able to relate to the injuries that some of the athletes had, my wife could not get with it.

The outcome, we are both working out daily, tracking our progress and our goals. And more importantly, we are determined. We are determined to live healthier lifestyles, which in turn, teaches the boys to be healthier. As I told a co-worker today, I didn’t put on 20 lbs of extra weight overnight, so it is going to take a lot of extra work to get it off too.

But what I’m learning, is that I’m it isn’t just yoga that is helping, it is working on meal planning and ensuring that the entire family is eating healthier as well. So, as I sit on the sofa, the boys are asleep, I’m working on meals for the next two weeks and planning out my workout schedule.

Who knew that yoga could be fun?

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This is a non partisan rant on regulations within our healthcare and now, it is personable.

Today I went to get my son’s ADHD medication refilled, with no luck. I went to 4 different pharmacies and we are talking major chains and I was told the same thing at each stop. And with each trip, the more furious I became.  Each no was met with, we aren’t able to get his medication due to regulations.

What the hell? Regulations? Regulations on a medication that has proven in major medical studies. Regulations for what reason?

So now what? My son has done amazing on his medication, now do we start over? Do we have to start testing new things? I’m waiting on the Doctor to call me back, but in the several conversations that I had with the pharmacists today, it seems that we are going to have to change to a new medication.

To quote a co-worker, “why do things have to be so hard?”

More to come.

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