November 2015

Thanksgiving traditions have changed for me throughout the years. As a kid, as with Christmas, we always loaded up and went to my grandparents. We would eat lunch at one grandparent and then go to the other grandparent for dinner. But what I do remember is all of the riding. I remember to this day where all the bumps were in the road and sights were on the road and I remember being out on the farm and running around.

And as an adult, my Thanksgiving traditions changed when I moved to Houston, as for the first several years, I didn’t realize that I had family out there. But my traditions revolved around watching the parade, going to Luby’s for lunch and then finding a place to volunteer. But what I liked the most about those traditions, is that for several years, I didn’t have to travel. I could just stay within a 5 – 10 mile radius of my house.

Now that I have kids, my Thanksgiving traditions have once again changed. And I say that, because they are going to change again next year. But this year, my wife was called out for work, so the boys and I got up early and watched Star Wars – Return of the Jedi, then watched the parade and then we played and I also cleaned the house.  We did travel to have lunch with my wife’s family, but that was it. But it couldn’t be that easy could it? Nope. Today, after work, we’ll load the kids and drive for 3 1/2 hours for another Thanksgiving.

So what is the change for next year? NO TRAVELING! NONE. NADA. ZIP. ZERO. I’M DONE TRAVELING FOR HOLIDAYS!

I’ve hit my point in my life that I’m done with traveling, if family want to see my kids or me, then load up and come on over. I’ll take care of all the food and will have a cold beer waiting, but don’t expect anymore traveling. Traditions were made to be broken and I’m breaking this one. I don’t want my kids to remember the bumps in the road and all the little sights like I did. I spent more time in the back of a car going from place to place and honestly, I resent it. I resent that my parents didn’t stand up to their parents and ask them to come to us. Sure, later in life, driving wasn’t as easy and that I understand, but not when we were kids. And as soon as my wife starts talking about our travels for the holidays, my blood pressure shoots up.

So, this years Thanksgiving traditions stayed the same, but going forward, we are making new traditions and traditions that I hope that my kids can carry on as they grow up and start a family.

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Yesterday, for just an hour, I wasn’t connected to a phone or computer. For just an hour, I didn’t have to check email or text messages from the office.

For just an hour, I didn’t have to worry about life or think about life. But I did get to escape. I got to walk about from the distractions of life and clear my head.

Last night, I went to bed and knew that I was coming down with a sinus infection and I knew that I was more than likely going to be at home today with the boys, as one of them was not feeling well. And getting up this morning, I knew within 15 minutes what my day was going to look like and honestly, I wasn’t that far off.

Boy B has a cold. Boy A when told that he was going to daycare alone, freaked out. Could they both have gone to daycare, sure. I am just one that errors on the side of caution, especially with the holidays coming up.

Today consisted of the Boy B taking medicine for his cold (honey) and my trying to work and rest. Tonight, after my wife got home, I cooked dinner and got everyone ready for bed. Sure, I still have a sore throat and my ears are clogged up, but my kids don’t care. I mean, they do, but they still need guidance in getting them ready for bed.

But as I was rocking the boys to sleep, I thought back to yesterday and in how an hour, changed my outlook of the day. And today, I missed not having an hour alone without interruption, but the realty is that the boys will only be this age for a little long and at some point, they will not want to spend the day with me. They will not want to sit in my lap.

And in that moment, I wanted just an hour from today, to stand still in time.

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We just got back from a long weekend away from life out in the country and I would love to go back now.  There is just something about country life that helps me clear my head and regain some focus of life. The boys were able to run around, play, go and see the animals.

The boys were able to play and not worry about life. They could play in the dirt, run up and down the paths and just be kids. And I could chase them (as best as my knee would let me) and we could walk and talk. The boys and I grilled every night while we were at the farm house. We laughed and we had amazing days and because the boys were so tired, night time routines were a breeze.

There is something about going to a simpler time and just relaxing. It is something that we don’t get to do very often and it is something that as I was driving into work this morning, something that I really desired and craved. I want more of the down time and more of the fun with my kids and less time in my jeep driving to and from work. Life is very short and spending 3 – 4 hours a day commuting isn’t quality of life that I want anymore. Being able to walk to the barn and get on the tractor and just go, is something that I want more of.

So today, as I sit at my desk, thinking about the weekend and the playing that we did, I miss it already. I miss that part of life that is quiet and part of nature.

 

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Pets are extensions of our families and as with humans, sometimes things happen and we have to say goodbye to our pets and that happened to us this past weekend.

My wife got a cat a little over 10 years ago & he has traveled and been a part of her life through the end of college, moving home, buying a house, ME, the lose of her mom and the list continues. But over the last year, the cat started to have problems and I must admit, the cat and I had a love hate relationship. In full disclosure, I’m allergic to cats and had to continue taking allergy shots for the last 9 years and the cat also tripped me, causing me to ultimately have two knee operations. But nevertheless, the cat was a HUGE part of my wife’s life and the boys had gotten really attached to the cat as well, especially Boy A.

My wife and I had begin to notice that the cat wasn’t himself, not eating or drinking and was just laying in cool places more frequently. The vet for the last year had mentioned numerous times that there was something wrong with the cat’s stomach and that they would continue to treat it until the medicines were no longer effective and that became apparent Friday night. Late Friday night, I was up reading and had a movie on and the cat came into the living room and got really sick and then went and laid down. Saturday morning, the cat barely moved and my wife and I went upstairs to talk, away from the boys after she was able to get an appointment with the vet. I just simply said that I thought that it was a good idea to have the boys say goodbye, just in case, because I was pretty sure that the medicine didn’t work and that it was the end. And even though I think that my wife knew that, she was holding out hope, after all, this was her little buddy.

So, we explained to the boys that the cat wasn’t feeling well and had to go back to the Dr. But that before he did, that they should give him a kiss goodbye and pet him. Little did we know, that my gut feeling was right. The vet basically said that the treatments were no longer effective and that we could send the cat off to a specialty hospital, but that in the end, it really wouldn’t solve the problem. And minutes later, my wife texted me that she had made the decision and that was time to say goodbye.

An hour later, my wife walked into the house, without her cat and Boy A asked where the cat was? And it was then we had to sit them down and explain that his cat had been sick and that the Dr. couldn’t make him any better. After a lot of tears, both from my wife and my son, he cleared his throat and asked if the cat was in Heaven and better now? Well, that got me teared up and again, I had a love/hate relationship with the cat. The last several days have been sad around the house, but both boys have already been throwing out ideas for future pets, I believe Hamsters, Dolphins, Crabs, Goldfish and Dogs have all been thrown out as suggestions. But I think that my wife and I decided to keep pets off the table for now, let the healing continue and we need to get through Christmas first and then we’ll see about more pets.

Last night, as the boys and I were out grilling, I asked Boy B to close the screened door and was getting ready to say “Don’t let the cat out!” and it was then that it hit me, the cat is gone. For the last 9 years, the cat and I have tangled, but my wife and at least one of the boys loved that cat. And for that, I hated having to tell the boys. I hated explaining the concept of death, again. I hated that in their short lives, they have to lose a great grandmother and now their cat. Death is hard to understand and comprehend, even as an adult and yet, the boys seemed to do a pretty good job with the idea of it on Saturday. So as we said our prayers Saturday night, we said a little one for the cat, because as Boy A summed it up on Saturday, “He isn’t hurting and now playing with his friends.”

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Halloween this year was a complete bust. Ok, that might be a stretch, but it wasn’t what we envisioned for sure.  Let me back up and start with this.

For Halloween this year, the boys actually went out twice, the first was Trunk or Treat at their grandfather’s church. They had a blast going car to car getting candy and running around and playing on the playground. They had a parade of costumes where all the kids lined up and they just had a blast. Boy A was Spiderman and Boy B was a 3 Headed Dragon and everyone loved seeing them.

Halloween night was a completely different event and to a point, I was bummed. The boys were so excited to get candy and goto the mall like we did last year, but it was a complete bust. We get to the mall and start walking around and after we got to the 3rd store I started to realize that none of the stores were giving out candy. The mall moved back the time this year from 5 to 2 and either the mall was overwhelmed with visitors, which I can’t imagine or the stores just didn’t get the memo.

Regardless, the boys basically got 10 pieces of candy and they were beyond happy and my wife and I were beyond disappointed. I was upset that they were so looking forward to a bucket full of candy and they got almost nothing. But what I realized as we were driving to dinner after leaving the mall, the boys didn’t care. All they cared about was dressing up, it was my wife and I that were missing that point. Halloween isn’t’ just about candy, but it seems that it is more about the costume for the boys.

As we started putting away the pumpkins and the costumes last night, the boys said goodbye to Halloween and hello to Thanksgiving and in just a minute they went from candy to turkey.

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