May 2014

Missing In Action aka MIA aka On a Break aka Life got in the way.

Always of saying that a lot of things have been going on in life lately and blogging hasn’t been one of those things.  Nothing too crazy, just dealing with a lot of life things. Work, future, finances, family, and the list goes on.

Sometimes I think that it is good to get away, hide from life. I think that it is healthy to back away and reflect.

And there are times when you just need to go MIA.

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When my wife and I did IVF, there were 6 embryos that were left over and frozen, just in case we ever wanted to use them again.  With the freezing process, there is a yearly storage fee that is associated with the embryos. Not bad for the first year, $200. Year two was $600 I believe and this year was $1,200.

In looking at this from multiple points of view, $1,200 was not in my budget and more importantly, I am about 99.9% sure that I don’t want anymore children, so my wife and I sat down and had a long talk. I laid out my case, as to why I didn’t want more children. Then my wife laid her case out why she wanted more, and though she didn’t say this in so many words, deep down I think that she wants a daughter. I understand that and I respect that. But, having another baby means a lot of things, costs, another vehicle (I have a Jeep and can’t fit 3 car seats in there), a bigger house, day care, and the list goes on and those are just the immediate things. That doesn’t factor in having 3 children in college either at the same time or close.  And honestly, I know what I have today and I really don’t want to throw anything in the mix with that.

So after a lot of conversations, my wife and I decided to donate the embryos to a research lab for stem cell research. We both felt that it was important to not just discard the embryos, but to do something that could possibly help others. We had the call yesterday and I have to admit, it was harder than I thought. These embryos are part of my wife and myself. And yes, we are still going through with it, but it was a hard decision but I believe the right decision.

So even though my six little embryos, we’ll never meet. You would have been loved tremendously by us and would have been a great addition to our family. But, you are going to help others and that is a great and that is an important thing.

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Bed time has become a challenge of late, for both boys actually. It seems that no matter how much we run them and tire them out, the boys just don’t seem ready to goto bed and they are starting to have separation anxiety when my wife leaves the room.

My wife and I have been alternating who leaves their room first at night to put them down and it seems that when my wife leaves the room first and I stay behind, the boys just have a fit. We have been playing music for them, reading to them, rubbing their backs, but bed time has really become a chore of late.

If anyone has suggestions, please feel free to share.

 

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