March 2014

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (1 Corinthians 13:4) How many times have you heard that bible verse, especially at weddings?

Well, it is something that my wife and I talked a lot about this weekend on our quick mountain getaway. We talked about how it isn’t easy being parents and working full time. We talked about how tired we are. We talked about how we need to do more for each other and put the others needs as a higher priority. But, one really important thing, was about being patient. It is so easy to be short with the ones you love the most, because they will always love you. But being patient and being kind to them, even when you don’t want to be, is really hard.

This morning, around 3:00 am the boys woke up and were ready to play. I was cranky, I was tired and I just wanted to sleep. I was not as patient as I needed to be, but in the middle of trying to get the boys calmed down and downstairs, I reminded my wife, that love is patient, even in times like these.

Read the full verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Bible Gateway

My wife sent me a text earlier to thank me and to tell me how much she appreciated getting up with the boys this morning, and send ended the text very appropriated that Love is patient, Love is kind. I can’t wait to get home today and play with the boys and spend time with my wife.

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Sometimes you just need a quiet weekend getaway to unwind and recharge the batteries. And that is what my wife and I are doing. Dropping the kids off with my wife’s dad and hitting the road. Heading to the mountains for a long weekend.

Have a great weekend and try to make time for you and your spouse and take a long weekend getaway. It is worth it.

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Words that I hate saying more than anything else. Baby A woke up throwing up and Mommy had him uncontrolled. I made it 15 minutes into my commute when I got the text message, “Mommy is sick, please come back home.”

Turn around. Was able to get all of my meetings rescheduled and started sending emails to staff that I would be out of the office today. Got my wife to bed. Started getting the boys ready, changed, and then Baby A threw up all over me. And in that moment, he looks at me and apologizes and says that he is sorry that his tummy doesn’t feel good. Bless his heart.

I got him cleaned and changed, unloaded the diswasher and then reloaded it again. This could be a really long day, I hate it when Mommy is sick.

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Every year, my wife and I take a day and spend it doing our tax prep for our CPA. This year, no different, except 1 big thing, our household income went up by $1,000.00, we paid off 2 credit cards off and WE GAVE MORE TO CHARITY by $1,000.00. Why is that huge? Because my wife and I share 1 huge belief, that is that we are blessed beyond belief.

Not only that, we double our donations to Goodwill. Again, helping others. We are on the road to living like no one else, so that we can give like no one else. We have really been focused this year with paying down debt and in looking at what we gave, adding the small amount of extra income, paying off debt, etc. it was a good year. Even if we have to pay a little this year, it looks like we are on the right track.

In looking at all the tax prep that we’ve done, I think that the conversation with the CPA this year will be more of what we can change for next year to even get us to our end goal faster.

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The first of many posts on this topic, but I love March Madness. I’ve been known to blow off events for March Madness. This is the time where games matter more than every before.

Upsets have already happened and non better than the Mercer vs. Dook game. That to me was the most important upset, all other upsets are just gravy, but that one was huge.

This weekend is going to consist of Basketball, wings and beer. More to come, but I love basketball.

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It is that time again, the dreaded Tax Season. I really don’t know, other than some CPAs that enjoy tax season. For most, they just try to do what is right and pay what they owe. Some like to try to get as big of a return back as possible, but for me I like to break even.

So with that, you have less than 1 month before taxes are due. Plan ahead, if you are doing your taxes yourself, see what changes have been made to the tax codes. If you are like me and can’t be bothered or even comprehend the tax codes, pay a good CPA, in the end it is worth the money.

I’ve been in constant contact with my CPA for the past several months, ensuring that we had everything together, but more importantly, I’ve really focused for the last year on giving more. I really want to plan on giving more and more each year. My family has been incredibly blessed and there are a lot of suffering families out there, so if we can give to the Food Bank, to a local charity that the money will be given to help others, then that is what I want to do. So for 2014, I’ve increased our giving by $100 in our monthly budget, this does not include the $40 a month that I give through automatic withdraw in my paycheck bi-weekly.

As we pay down debt and move closer to those magic words of being DEBT FREE, we will increase our giving. Because there is no greater feeling, than helping someone else.

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Ok, enough is enough. Seriously parents, this isn’t cool and in the end will back fire of you. I saw this video, ok, I saw the first 10 – 15 seconds of this video and I was embarrassed. Parents, stop embarrassing your kids.

This isn’t cool and is only going to tear your children down at some point, because they will find out that you recorded them throwing a fit or getting upset.  Here is a crazy idea, let’s build our kids up and help them have a strong self esteem. I’ve read time and time again that people find video funny. What is funny? Watching a kid cry? Watching a kid get upset because the player that he looked up to is no longer on his favorite team and the whole time, the father is egging it on.

But, and this is pretty cool, the person that stepped up, was Steve Smith, now with the Baltimore Ravens. There isn’t much known thus far about the meeting that will take place between Smith and this young boy, but regardless of what happens, Smith is doing the right thing.

Parents it is our responsibility to raise our children to see themselves as what they can become, not their failures or moments of getting upset. Steve Smith, thank you for taking time out of your life and your day, to comfort a child.

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Oh, there I said it, one of those taboo words, Spanking.  For the record, I am not a doctor nor am I a psychologist, so now that that is out there, let em tell you what I am. I am a parent. I am father of two boys. I am a son to two loving parents. I am the son of divorced parents. I am the son of a Colonel in the US Army. I am from the south.

Why do I say all of those things that I am? Because I’m tire of seeing this video that has been going around on Youtube:

Here is my issue. It is the parents job to set the boundaries and to set exceptions, not engage a child in a debate.  If the parent said that the boy could not have a cupcake for dinner, then that is what was going to happen, not film a 3 minute video on it. But, to go a step further, you’ve got those on the other side that just have a issue with spanking:

Former HuffPost Senior Columnist, Lisa Belkin, argues that the spanking “debate” shouldn’t exist, because there aren’t two sides — decades of research shows that spanking is ineffective and psychologically harmful. But still, news outlets and other parenting blogs discuss the practice often. The real news here is that the Internet is choosing to ignore that part this time, for no clear reason. (Read more from the Huffington Post here)

So here is my issue and it is simple, who’s place is it to say that spanking is ineffective and better yet, harmful? For the record, there is a line between spanking and beating your child and I DO NOT CONDONE THAT! I do on the other hand, see that if a child is misbehaving, (a lot depends on the age of the child here too, as a 2 year can’t grasp this concept in my opinion) a light smack on the leg to get their attention is ok. Again, there is a difference between spanking a child to inflect pain, and popping their legs to get there attention.  I am not talking about leaving a hand print on a child.

Was I spanked as a child, absolutely. Do I have authority issues? No, because I know to this day what would happen to me if I were to misbehave. Is that a psychological issue? Maybe? But I know the difference between right from wrong. I know that the difference between doing good and wrong to others. I also know that I love my sons more than anything  else in this world and I want to protect them and teach them to be contributing members of our society. I want them to see that there are times as a parent, that I have to discipline them. Does that mean that I’m going to spank them? No, I would rather not spank them. But, that doesn’t mean that if I needed to smack their leg to get their attention, that I wouldn’t do it. Again, spanking, i.e. hitting a child hard enough to leave a mark and smacking a child on their legs to get their attention are two entirely differently  things.

So back to this video, a video where the 3 year old called his, I believe his mother or grandmother by their first name Linda. Growing up, had I called an adult by their first name, let’s just say that there would be several spankings involved, no question asked. Not to mention to mention that there would be restrictions and apologizes. But the parent did not lay down the ground rules and kept filming the video because they thought that it was funny. I have yet to find the humor in it. Still, several days after having watched it for the firs time.

Parents, be parents for your children. Set the ground rules. You are their parents, not their friends that they can hang out with and run all over. If there isn’t a change in behavior now, I only wonder how our society will end up in 20 years?  Do some Google searche sand I think that you’ll have articles/blogs/stories on both sides of the issue. But I can only speak for myself and my experience and that is simply, spanking can be a good way to teach and get your child’s attention to teach them a life lession.

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Dinner time for many is a quick bite, where you can get it in. For us, my wife and I would often feed the boys in their high chairs and then we would eat later. But now, we are all eating at the table for dinner time. I have to say, I love it. I love being able to sit and just talk with the boys while they eat.

Growing up, the dinner table was really important for me. It was a symbol of family time. As I grew older, I often had baseball or basketball practice, which took me away from sitting at the dinner table with the rest of my family, but now, as a parent, I see what I missed out on. I missed out on conversation. Family discussions and planning. Family bonding. Things that now, I wish that I had been a part of.

And years later, as a parent, I see the importance. I see that I need to set the example for my boys of the importance of the dinner table. So my wife and I have vowed, going forward, no more things on the dinner table, unless it is plates and silverware, because we need to start making memories for our boys, while we eat together as a family.

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Kids, they say the darnedest things, but when it is true, it just gets you. Tonight, Baby A got me good. I was rocking him and he says “Daddy, Big Tummy”.

Do I need to lose weight, yes. Am I working on it, yes, but apparently not fast enough. I wasn’t expecting that from my son. Well, I guess I know what I need to do, starting to hit the gym, so that daddy can get rid of his “Big Tummy”.

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