January 2014

Every night before it is time to get in bed, the boys sing songs with either my wife or myself. But Baby A will usually get in our laps, sing and when it is time to go to bed, in the cutest voice, he says “Rock a Minute”.

One day soon, I know that “Rock a Minute” will turn into me asking him if I can rock him to sleep. Before today, “Rock a Minute” turns into rocking 10 minutes.

So tonight, after a long day at work, dealing with traffic, feeding the boys, getting them ready for bed, I look forward to Baby A asking to “Rock a Minute”.

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Part of being a Dad is sometimes not doing things that you want to, like having an annual physical. Something that I dread is having blood work done, always have and probably always will.

But this time, it was different. Yes, I dreaded going to the Dr. being told that I was healthy, but that I needed to lose weight. And that wasn’t a news flash, but still not what you want to hear. And then, I put off as long as I could going to get the blood work done, because I just didn’t want to hear the results.

I didn’t think that there was anything wrong with my blood work, but I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure if something strange was going to pop up, Diabetes, etc. So, I had the blood draw on Friday at 9:00 a.m. and by Wednesday morning, I had the results. Everything looked great.

My blood work was actually great! And even though I dread having an annual physical, it did give me a peace of mind that everything was ok. I have to do these things to help ensure that I’m around long enough for my family. So, I start today with making sure that I set the right examples for them.

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I love snow, well most days. Lately we have been hit hard with a lot of snow and shoveling gets old after a while. But, as much as I hate shoveling, I love the expressions and the comments that my boys make when they see snow fall.

Baby B ran up to me this week as it started to snow and yelled “Look Daddy, snow!” and he jumped up and down. As I continued to watch it snow with the boys, realizing that I couldn’t take them outside because of the cold air and also they had fevers, it was a little disappointing. But, it is great to see the innocence in their faces and the excitement of watching the snow.

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Last night, I got home, talked with the boys, started fixing dinner and I heard Baby B saying something and I just could not figure it out. But he was excited and serious about what he was saying, because he said it over and over and over again.

Finally, I get him to slow down and I ask him again what he said and looked serious at me and said “I’m a Ninja”. After a long day, I couldn’t stop laughing and I don’t know why it was so funny? Maybe because I wasn’t expecting that? Maybe because in life, you just need to laugh? Maybe it is because we call a good friend of mine Ninja? Who knows, but for a few minutes yesterday, my son thought that he was a Ninja.

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There are things that happen in our lives that we can not explain. There are things that happen in our lives that will stay with us forever and today is that day for me. 5 years ago today, my mother in law was killed in a tragic car accident. There are things about that day that I can tell you about, but a lot of it is a blur, but here are some of the things that I do remember:

  • I remember that it was snowing and had started snowing earlier that morning.
  • I remember getting the phone call from my father in law while I was sitting at work after lunch..
  • I remember listening to Mark Schultz’s Remember Me when the phone rang.
  • I remember sitting back down, putting my head down and crying. Crying for the loss of an amazing person, but crying because I was going to have to go and tell my wife of 3 months that her mother and best friend had just died and it was going to break my wife’s heart. It was going to change her forever.It was going to change us.
  • I remember the 8 miles from my office to my wife’s seemed like 180 miles.
  • I remember calling my wife’s best friend and telling him, as he was a 2nd child to my wife’s parents.
  • I remember not being able to talk for 10 minutes and only being able to cry in front of my wife.
  • I remember my wife asking if we were getting a divorce, because I could not stop crying. That would have been easier I think.
  • I remember the drive from my wife’s office to her Dad’s house seemed like forever.
  • I remember her father coming outside when we got there to hug my wife and myself.
  • I remember a family friend that grabbed me and held me as tight as he could, and I finally got to grieve for a few minutes.
  • I remember the outpouring of people that came to the house that night.
  • I remember waking up after 15 minutes of sleep and having a feeling of calmness come over me.
  • I remember the silence in the house.

Here is the song by Mark Schultz, Remember Me, that I was listening to when I got the call, that Monday afternoon.

Sometimes things do not make sense, especially when death is involved. I can say that after a lot of struggles, my wife and I learned a lot of amazing lessons from this. My wife and I are closer. My wife and I have two amazing little boys. My wife my and I often talk about that day. We talk about what we were doing, we often cry and then  we talk about how much we miss her mom. We talk about how she would be with the boys and how much she would have loved them.

But tonight, I just think that we have to look for the Remembrance of God in the form of sunsets and people. We have to take each moment as it is our last. We have to over use the words “I Love You”, because you never know when it will be the last time that you will use them.

Remember me
When the color of the sunset fills the sky
Remember me
When you pray and the tears of joy
fall from your eyes

I remember and can not, nor will I ever forget. I just hope that when it is my time, that Jesus will Remember Me.  And I hope that one of the first people that I get to see when getting to Heaven, is my mother in law, so I can tell her all about her grandsons.

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My wife just called and it looks like Baby B is done with speech therapy. When Baby B was first tested about 6 months ago, he tested in the 11 month – 15 month range. Now, he is testing at the 27 – 30 month range.

I am beyond excited, relieved, nervous, but most of all, grateful.  I am grateful for the speech therapy program in our county that helps my son. I’m grateful for the therapists that worked with him and got him to where he is today. I’m grateful for all of the guidance and resources that they provided.

Today marks the end of speech therapy, but the beginning of learning even more.

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There are lessons in life that we all must learn, but some are harder than others. Growing up, one of the things that I always remember my grandfather telling me was that when you go to bed, you drop all of your worries. That you do not worry about what happened today or yesterday and that tomorrow is a new day. But with that, he went a step further to say that forgiving, that that is one of the greatest gifts that we can give and that we should not hold onto anger, especially towards others.

I came across this Bible verse today: Luke 6 : 37-38 and it reads:

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

One of the things that we are trying to teach the boys is that if they do something to the other or if they do something to someone else, that they have to say they are sorry. We want the boys to apologize and know that when they do something wrong. But, more importantly, we want the other to see and show forgiveness.

Saying you are sorry is easy, but forgiving, that is the hard part.

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As a kid, when my mom would mention the word spaghetti, I would always want to know what she was cooking for me, because I was not about to eat spaghetti. Well, fast forward several years and now my kids are asking for my spaghetti on a regular basis.

I shared with my co-workers last week that they boys were asking for more spaghetti, so they all asked for the recipe. So, I’ll share with everyone else too, but please understand, I make this now without measuring anything. So just play around with it and make it work for you.

Spaghetti Sauce
28oz can of diced petite tomatoes
8oz can of Tomato sauce
6oz can of Tomato paste
1 onion diced chopped that has been sauteed
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (I don’t actually measure, I just eye ball it)
1 pinch of sugar
5 – 10 dashes of Tabasco
1 pound of 80/20 hamburger or a mixture of ground hamburger or ground turkey.
salt & pepper
simmer for 2 hours and there you go.

Often times I will bake some homemade bread to go along with this meal, but the great thing with this dish is that you’ll get enough left overs for several meals. Low cost and great flavor. 2 great things about a good meal.

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I knew that it was going to happen sooner than later, but really didn’t expect for it to happen yesterday. After 2 days in a row of the boys climbing out of their cribs at nap time and coming downstairs, we decided that it was time to convert the cribs to a big boy bed.

When we took the boys upstairs before dinner to show them the new beds, they got all excited. They started running around the room, then jumping on the beds. I guess they assumed that they were new beds, not converted down from their cribs?

Regardless, when it was time to point the boys down last night, it did take a little longer than usual. Before, we put them in their cribs, sing and then it was lights out. Now, they have the freedom to move around the room. So it took longer to start a new routine of settling down, not jumping on the bed and the boys even switched beds last night. But, after about 30 minutes, they both crawled up in my lap and we rocked. And Baby A kissed me goodnight and went to climb in his bed. Baby B then did the same thing.

All was well until 1:30 am this morning when Baby A woke up and came into our room. But, Baby B stayed in his big boy bed all night long. And today, I needed to stay home due to an emergency situation at the Nanny’s house, and we are on day 3 of not taking a nap, but they are playing nicely from what I can tell. No jumping up and down, or running around. If I had to guess, they are doing the same thing that they were doing 30 minutes ago when I checked on them, laying in the floor, tired and barely awake, playing with their trains.

Here is to hoping that Night 2 of the Big Boy Bed works better for Baby A.

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How many times have you thought to you self “I’ve got to make changes in my life?” We all have. Can’t think of a New Years that I haven’t thought that, then in a few weeks, I’m right back into the same pattern.

And how many times have you said, “But this year will be different?” We all have. And then we go right back into the same pattern and bad habits. Well, this year, I’m trying something different. I’ve got someone to hold me accountable. I’ve got someone that will ride my butt to lose weight, stay focused on finances, etc. And that is my wife.

We had a long talk this weekend about changes that we need to make, both financial and also physically. We have made great strides financially over the past year and we are starting to see the end in sight, we have a way to go, but it is there. But physically, I need to make changes.

I need to eat more fruits and vegetables and I need to exercise more. So, the changes, they are coming. But this year, I hope to do something different, I hope/plan to stick to my goals.

What changes do you want to make in your life this year?

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