August 2012

I know that I have sometime before I have sit down with the boys and begin explaining death, but I know that some day, it will happen.  I do not remember when my parents sat me down to explain it to me, but I would have to guess that it was when I was in the 2nd grade and the day that my grandfather died. I remember a lot about that day. Standing in the hall way, talking with the school principal, waiting for my mother to collect her things at school so that we could leave.  And I remember my father being at school as well, which was strange because my mother was a teacher and she brought me to school every day.

Over the last 5 years, my wife and I have both lost several close people in our lives, grandparents, friends, cousins, and my wife’s mother.  I know that as the boys grow older, they will have questions. Questions about who people where and more importantly, why they aren’t here now and if they are like me, they will ask the really hard question, where are they if they aren’t here?

On a trip before the boys were born, I started to bring this topic up with my wife and how we wanted to explain death to the boys and she reminded me of her educational background and a book that she had read when she was in grad school called The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story Of Life For All Ages.  She read me this book a few weeks later and even though it made sense, I still cringed at the thought of explaining death to the boys. But there are a few things that I hope that I am able to explain and share with the boys:

  • death is both tragic and difficult to understand sometimes, especially when it is a tragic and sudden loss.
  • it is part of life and life will go on.
  • it is ok to cry when you have lost someone that you loved.
  • hopefully, one day you will see your loved one again.

I know that when the boys get older, they will have questions about their grandmother, or their great grandparents and I just hope that I can explain to them what great people that they were and that one day, they will get to see and meet those that have gone before them in Heaven.

 

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I love the looks that I get when walking through the grocery store with the boys. What people don’t realize is that yes, I  am fully capable of taking both of the boys shopping at the grocery store at the same time. Is it hard, sure. I am limited in what I can buy. But usually I can get the essentials.

Normally, I put the boys in their stroller that puts the boys in a front and real position. Then I grab 2 of the hand carts and hook them to the gigantic Mommy Hook that my wife purchased from Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Normally, I am able to get everything that I need in a grocery trip and fill both baskets and in and out in 30 minutes. Is it hard shopping with both boys, sure, but what are my options?

Just remember that when you see Dad’s out shopping with their kids, they are doing the best that they can.

 

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I was rocking my son tonight and when he looked up and smiled at me, it hit me, I started hearing Edwin McCain‘s song “I Could Not Ask For More.”

These are the moments I’ll remember all my life
I found all I’ve waited for
And I could not ask for more

When rocking him to sleep, he looks up at me before he closed his eyes and smiled. I know that I will not be able to hold him for the rest of his life, but I am treasuring these moments and I don’t want them to end. I see how my sons are growing, learning new things, figuring things out on their own and just basically, growing up.

I want to cherish these moments and to enjoy them all. Enjoy Edwin’s video:

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