May 2012

In 2008, my wife’s mother was killed in an automobile accident. After a few months, my wife and I decided to seek help in dealing with our loss by seeking help from a Grief Counselor. We got a lot out of the counseling, but one thing that has really stuck with us and that has been really important in our marriage, planning trips.

Whenever my wife and take a trip, whether it is with or without the boys, before we leave for the trip we plan our next trips. It is pretty basic actually, this gives us something to look forward when we return home. It gives us something to look forward to, something to start thinking about and planning. Looking for attractions to visit, restaurants, places to take the boys, etc.

Taking trips can be a wonderful thing, either as a family or just as a couple. It allows you to get away, clear your head and most importantly, reconnect as a couple. So before your next trip, start planning and even booking the next place that you want to visit.

Here are a few photos from a trip that brought me a little comfort:

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Weight loss and Financial goals are very similar, meaning that it is easy to lose control and hard to get out of trouble. But, there is something else that needs to be factored in as well, setting rewards for goals that you set.  Pay off a credit card, take your wife and kids out to dinner or to a movie, but don’t use your credit card, save for it. Lose 10 pounds, reward yourself with your favorite treat.

Why do this, for psychological reasons for course. We need rewards, it is human nature. So, when you complete a major milestone, reward yourself.

My first reward is an iPhone 4s. What did I do to deserve this? I will have paid off almost the entire balance of a credit card and I was able to get the price reduced with my carrier to $110, instead of the normal $650 fee.  See how setting rewards for goals can pay off?

Remember, setting rewards for goals is important.  It is important not only for your psychological benefits, but it can also be used to motivate you to work harder and ultimately reach your goals faster.

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Memorial Day is a day that we stop, reflect and thank those in the military and former military for their service to the United States. For me, this is a special day, as there is a long line of military history that runs in my family. My father and grandfather both served in the United States Army, my other grandfather was in the United States Navy. I also had others that served, my uncle, great uncle,  cousins and several friends all served in different branches of our armed forces.  They all made a choice to serve and in doing so, they protect and defend us and our freedoms and for that, I am grateful.

So this Memorial Day, while you are enjoying your time at a BBQ or a baseball park or just spending time with friends and family, take a moment to thank anyone that you know that served.

And if you get a chance, take your family to Arlington National Cemetery in Arlington, VA. It is a trip that my wife and I plan on take our sons, not only for the history and to see the grave of their great great grandfather, but also to see the changing of the guard, watch a video here.

Arlington

Arlington National Cemetery

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Being online as much as I am, including Facebook and Twitter, I have really tried to control our privacy on social media. As it pertains to my kids, I want to protect them as much as possible. I want their identities shielded as much as I can. So, on Twitter, we do not share photos of the boys. And since all of our family and friends are on Facebook, we have changed our privacy settings to help protect our children’s identity and photos.  We only allow our friends to see photos of the boys on Facebook.  And you will only see that we refer to our boys as Baby A and Baby B. We do not use the boys real names.

As we as a society incorporate social media in our lives, the greater the need for privacy on social media channels. Protect yourself and your family online.

This is a great article on how to protect yourself while on Facebook: How to Control Your Facebook Privacy Settings

Remember, as more and more people use social media tools for good, there are still people out there that are looking to take advantage of others. Take precautions.

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To say that I am a political junkie would be a tremendous understatement. I love politics. I love talking about politics and if and I would run for local office and her words are that “she is a political liability”. I love talking politics with those that have similar views and love talking politics with those that don’t share my views. One of my co-workers will tell you that we have the best politics discussions (please note that I said discussions as we discuss our views) and we have completely opposite opinions.

We are only a few months away from the next Presidential election and as a life long Republican, I’m not really sure how I feel about our chances of regaining the White House. And I am also beginning to become concerned about losing the House as well. So here are my thoughts on the current field of Republican candidates:

Mitt Romney – A business leader. A former Governor.  Someone that knows how to lead a state, establish a budget, lead others. In saying that, Romney Care does have some similar points as Obama Care. My personal belief is that barring any major setbacks, Mitt Romney will be the Republican candidate to face President Obama. I think that Mitt Romney is the best candidate that can reach both Republicans and also Independent voters.  Is Mitt Romney the best candidate that is running, I believe so. And I believe that he can beat President Obama.

There is one other Republican candidate, Ron Paul, that is still left in the race.  I have intentionally skipped over this candidate, as in my opinion, as even though Ron Paul has been an effective leader, he is not the right candidate to take on President Obama.

I love politics. And right now, I have 1 fear: That Mitt Romney gets the nomination and Ron Paul decides to run as an Independent and takes votes away from Mitt Romney.

The next 6 months will be very interesting and depending on the polls, it is a very tight race. Leads will change. Digs will be made at each candidate. But one thing that I think is for sure, this election comes down to 3 things and 3 things only:

1) Economy – How the markets are doing? Has the housing market improved? Are people spending money again?
2) Jobs – Are people back to work? And please do not confuse my thinking here, I am not basing this off the reported jobless claims report. I am referring to the actually number of people that are out of work.
3) Independents – The Independents will decide this years election. The majority of the voters have a good idea of how they are going to vote if they had to make a decision today. But it is those that are on the fence and the Independents that are going to decide which party takes control, because I do not think that it is just the White House up for grabs. The Senate is definitely in play as well this year.

So how are the Republican candidates going to shape up this year? Your guess is as good as mine. I do think that Mitt Romney has a great chance to win, not because the Republicans want him in the White House, but because they want President Obama out. But I think that if Mitt can gain some traction and really focus on the 3 things that I pointed out:
1) Economy – Lay out a plan to reduce the deficit and balance our budgets (which has not been done under the current administration);
2) Jobs – Lay out a plan to get Americans back to work, give corporations a tax incentive to bring jobs back to the United States;
3) Independents – Reach out and take a moderate stance, instead of the normal far right approach

I think, if those 3 goals are achieved, Mitt Romney will in fact win the election.

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When eating out at restaurants one of the things that we have started doing is that as long as adults are eating at the table, the boys will remain in their high seats. And the reason that we have done this, is that we do not want the boys to get into the habit of going out and being walked around the restaurant. We want our kids to be respectful of the adults at the table and allow the adults to eat their meal as well.

We have all been out to eat before, watched families walking around the restaurants with their screaming children and not eating. Our goal is really to get the kids use to eating out at restaurants, but more importantly sitting in their seats and behaving themselves. Yes, the boys are still young, but part of raising your children is the repetitiveness.  So, the more that we can get use to being in restaurants the better off that we will be in the long run.

Take toys with you to help keep them occupy them, give them finger foods, or just talk with then while they are at the restaurant.  Teach them now, that their appropriate behavior is to remain seated while everyone eats and then they maybe excused when the meal is finished and there will not be problems down the road with your kids wanting to get up constantly while everyone is eating.

 

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I’ve been developing websites now for over 10 years and I’ve wanted to try something new, developing an app. Nothing crazy. Nothing that I would ever try to sell through  either the Apple Store or Android Store. So, the time has come.

I have started laying the ground work for the first app that I am going to develop.  It will be children focused and hopefully can help parents. The idea behind the app is whether or not your child should go to the Emergency Room or not.  I am currently in the phase of planning out the development and what topics that I want to go in at launch and the basic look of the app.

The first major decision that I did make though for the app, was that I was doing a web based app and not one that is native to the phone. This was actually a pretty easy decision after looking at trying to develop two separate apps for the Droid and iPhone and iPad. So now that that decision has been made, the process becomes a little easier.

Once I get further alone in the development, I’ll share the app here.

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I have come to the conclusion over the last several weeks, that these two boys are going to teach me a lot about life and give me a lot of perspective on how I view the world. I truly believe that we are given teachable moments on a regular basis, it is just how we view those moments and what we learn from them that can change our view on life. Last night one of the boys could not settle down and go to sleep and he and I ended up sleeping in the recliner. I started thinking back over the year and how nights when I would get frustrated because it would take them 4 hours to get settled down to sleep, but when they would wake up the next morning, they would smile and were so happy to see me. Forgiveness.

Or maybe a lack of remembering, but let’s go with forgiveness, because that is how I like to look at it. Kids, yes they get their feelings hurt when they don’t get their way, but they do not hold onto things as long as adults do. Maybe it is an attention span issue? Maybe they are just able to accept things and move on faster. But regardless, as my son had his little arm wrapped around me and with his other hand holding onto mine, I just smiled, because I know that I am sure that I’ve done something to hurt his little feelings, but he shows me his forgiveness by loving me.

Adults could really learn a lot from children about forgiveness and moving on.

 

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I just wanted to take a moment to wish my wife a Happy Mothers Day. She does so much to make sure that the boys are taken care of, feed, organized, etc. The boys and I are very lucky to have such an amazing woman.

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I am finding it increasingly harder to think of ways to teach my sons good sportsmanship, when you have pitchers like Cole Hamel who intentionally hits Nationals player, Bryce Harper in the back.  See for yourself in this Youtube clip from ESPN.


I respect the fact that Cole Hamels admitted that he hit him on purpose. I don’t however respect his reasoning which was to

I was trying to hit him,” the two-time All-Star lefty said Sunday night. “I’m not going to deny it. I’m not trying to injure the guy. They’re probably not going to like me for it, but I’m not going to say I wasn’t trying to do it. I think they understood the message, and they threw it right back. That’s the way, and I respect it.

You can read the rest of the article here from ESPN.  I have been thinking about this a lot lately, because when I was growing up, yes there was an understanding that the older guys would welcome the rookies, but they would not try to hurt them. And I am not saying that Cole Hamels was trying to hurt him, but he was not offering to buy him a steak dinner and teach him the way a Major League Baseball player should conduct themselves either. Fortunately, in this particular case, Harper was not hurt and honestly, neither was Hamels, because he got a 5 day suspension and does not even miss a start. Yes, a 5 DAY, not 5 start suspension, which is what they should be doing. Major League Baseball missed a real opportunity here to set an example and to do the right thing and they did not. do it.

If my kids were to hit another player on purpose, do you think that I would just sit them out for 5 days? Nope. That would be it for them for the year. Now, in saying that, they would have run after the game, done pick ups, etc. and they would still go to ever practice, but they would never step foot on the field for the remainder of the year. Why? Because it is not good sportsmanship to throw at another player and then get off with a slap on the wrist. We have to teach our children that there are consequences for their actions. Throw a baseball at another player, you are done for the year. Hit a kid in the arm, you are going to be punished.

Maybe Major League Baseball should ask some parents what they would do with their children in a situation like this?

 

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