Marriage

Dads, don’t ever lose sight in the importance of dating your spouse. Trust me on this one.

As with any relationship, you have your ups and downs. There are struggles with new born or in our case, two. And let’s not forget about being exhausted. Raising kids is a full time job and that doesn’t even factor in taking care of a house, a full time job, etc.

And why do I make this such a point, because I am guilty of it! I am guilty of not dating my wife after the boys were born. I am guilty of not putting her first and making more time for her. BUT, that has changed!!!!

In the last week, we have commented on how it feels like we are dating again. We are stealing kisses from each other in the kitchen. We are talking more and having real conversations, other than who is putting kids to bed or doing laundry.

There is a reason why you and your spouse are together, so focus on that. Do not let little things turn into big things and get in the way. Do not let time slip by and one day wake up and go “What in the hell am I doing?” Don’t let it be to late.

So this weekend, do something nice for your spouse. And if you aren’t, start dating them again. You’ll thank me for it one day, I know that I am glad that I took my own advice.

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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (1 Corinthians 13:4) How many times have you heard that bible verse, especially at weddings?

Well, it is something that my wife and I talked a lot about this weekend on our quick mountain getaway. We talked about how it isn’t easy being parents and working full time. We talked about how tired we are. We talked about how we need to do more for each other and put the others needs as a higher priority. But, one really important thing, was about being patient. It is so easy to be short with the ones you love the most, because they will always love you. But being patient and being kind to them, even when you don’t want to be, is really hard.

This morning, around 3:00 am the boys woke up and were ready to play. I was cranky, I was tired and I just wanted to sleep. I was not as patient as I needed to be, but in the middle of trying to get the boys calmed down and downstairs, I reminded my wife, that love is patient, even in times like these.

Read the full verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Bible Gateway

My wife sent me a text earlier to thank me and to tell me how much she appreciated getting up with the boys this morning, and send ended the text very appropriated that Love is patient, Love is kind. I can’t wait to get home today and play with the boys and spend time with my wife.

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For most, the weekend is a time to get caught up with chores around the house and planning for the next week. But that isn’t the case for us this weekend. This weekend, is a little different, as we are going to be kid less.

Finally, a weekend off. Well, not really a weekend, more like 24 hours, but nevertheless, time off. No responsibilities, just my wife and I. Dinner, a movie, a little shopping for the boys.

Will we miss them? Absolutely. Fortunately, our family will be sending us photos, but it is needed time a way. Not because we will not love them or miss them, but before it was a family a four, it was my wife and I, a family of two.

As I recently told a friend, who he and his wife are expecting their first child, it is important to stay connected to your wife after your child is born. Because if you lose that connection or the relationship gets lost, there is no marriage.

So plan a weekend away. Take time for just the two of you. Miss your children, but reconnect with your spouse.

I can not wait for the weekend.

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Marriage is hard, but the first year of marriage with kids, is pretty rough too. Focusing on each other is important and shouldn’t be overlooked. Yes, the first priority should be the kids, but then, you still have to spend time for each other.

Here are some things that we do:

  • Date night is important and we have tried to focus on going out once a month. To help save money, find another couple and offer to baby sit for free so that they too can enjoy a date night and then they can watch your kids when you need a night out on the town.
  • Eat dinner together after the kids go to bed and talk about our day. I think that this will change once the boys are able to talk, as I hope that we will all eat together at the dinner table together.
  • We talk, and we try to avoid the basic small talk, but we talk about the kids, work, if we are on track with our goals for the year. And actually listen, not think about 10 things that have to be done tomorrow.

Remember, before there were kids, it was just you two and you have to spend time on each other as well.

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