School

The word that I used with my mom tonight when she asked how I was doing, was simply “defeated”. We got another call from Boy B’s teacher, it wasn’t as bad as last weeks, but it still wasn’t great.

This time, he was great in the class room, but not in his special classes, i.e. PE and Media Center. And though she said that he was great in his class, he didn’t make good choices. And I think that when my wife mentioned that the teacher suggested that we contact his Dr. (i.e. subtle for possible need for medication), I hit a low point for the day.

I don’t want my kids to be on medicine for behavior concerns at this age. I have too many resources, but this is part of raising twin boys. The perfect storm of being born early, boys and twins and the 2nd child. And as I took a deep breath and muddled the words “I feel defeated”, my mother, who never raises her voice came down on me like a ton of bricks. She said that I needed to hear. She got on me for the right reason. She got on me because I wasn’t focusing on the right things.

We talked through Boy B’s day. What was different than yesterday and the day before. We talked through his sleep pattern, his eating, etc. And then we figured out that the day was different. There was not a lot of transition time. He didn’t enough breakfast. His schedule was off this morning due to it being a Wednesday and the class schedule changed, etc. it all became the perfect storm.

So as I drove home from work, after a really long day, a few things came to mind.

  1. I’m beyond fortunate that my mom has a background in teaching and that she can help me with these types of issues.
  2. When I call and say that I’m defeated, that she knows exactly what I need to hear and builds me up, instead of letting me tear myself down.
  3. And she gave me the same loving advice, that I hope that I can pass along to my boys one day.

So that feeling of being defeated, some how changed into, how can we make tomorrow better. And I hope that tomorrow will be better and that he make’s better choices.

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The first day of school came and went, mostly without any issues. I say mostly, but it wouldn’t be fun without some problem.

On the night before the boys first day of school, we packed their lunches, got all of their clothes out, read some books and talked about riding the bus and going to school. All good. And it didn’t hurt that they were both exhausted too.

And now that we are 3 weeks into school, I can honestly say that for the most part, the boys have really transitioned nicely into kindergarten. They have taken a great interest into reading and wanting to learn how to read. They are more engaged in learning new things and they have shown an excitement in doing their best at school and even have asked to do chores around the house.

Because my mother taught elementary school for over 4o years, it is easy and also hard for me to watch them goto school.  The days have changed and the expectations have changed. When I grew up, kindergarten was meant to be a transition from preschool and a bridge for 1st grade, but today, that is all changed. Today, kindergarten is what I experienced as 1st grade. And that is really sad in many regards, especially when I see that they only get 15 minutes a day to have recess. And if you ask any teacher, they will tell you that 15 minutes a day of recess isn’t enough and that children, especially little boys, learn better by doing.

All in all, the boys really seem to have transitioned really nicely into a new phase of their life.

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Today marked a new day in the life of not only my boys, but mine as a father.  Today, the boys started a new daycare. And for those that missed out on that story, you can read part of it here, as since the majority of that story is personal and private for the daycare provider.

But over the weekend, we took the boys to get a lunch box and last night we got them to help us pack their lunch for today and they were beyond excited. I really think that just simple as simple as letting them help pack their lunch, made a HUGE difference in the transition of the new daycare/pre-K school. And then this morning, both boys were up early, they dressed themselves and were ready to leave, well before I had my first cup of coffee and the entire time, I kept wondering if the shoe was going to drop and one or both were going to freak out.

Around 8am this morning, we made the 3 mile drive, went in and got them checked in, talked with their teacher and the boys actually hugged us and told us to leave. I was tearing up and they are kicking us out the door. A new day in the lives of our boys. Today they walked into a new daycare/school for the first time and immediately started making new friends. My whole day, I’ve been on pins and needles waiting to hear how the day went.

A new day is coming to an end and another first is behind us. This new daycare is really going to prepare the boys for kindergarten, help them learn how to write and both boys are starting to show a interest in learning how to read. Our last daycare was an in home and we all loved the that environment and the lady that took care of our sons and we are very grateful for the time that we had with her. We are also very sad that she was shut down and especially for the reasons that it lead up to it. But we are also hopeful that this new daycare will prepare the boys and give them a head start to their next year in school.

Today, was a new day.

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I’ve been asked lately by several friends how the boys were doing with their school transitions? To which I usually reply very simply, “How do you prepare a 3 year old for the unknown?”

We have already started preparing the boys with letting them know that they are going to a new school soon. And we’ve arranged with the school for them to start visiting once a week for at least a half day. But how do you really prepare them for school transitions?

I’ve had lengthy conversations with my mother who was an elementary school teacher for 44 years and she agrees that the slow approach should work well. But, she also agrees too that the boys adapt really easily, so they should be fine.

Am I concerned about this transition? Not really. This is the best move for the boys long term, as they prepare for school. And at the end of the day, that is really all that matters.

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Last night before bed, the boys and I sat down and read Curious George’s First Day of School.  The boys seemed really excited as we read and the entire time all I could think about was the boys going to preschool today.

As I woke up this morning, sipping my morning coffee, it hit me, today is the first day of school for the boys. Where did the last 2 1/2 years go?  My mind wondered, would they cry when my wife dropped them off?
Would there be reservations on their part going into a strange place?  Would they be ok?

I looked at my calendar for the day to figure out where I would be when my wife was dropping them off. Was she going to call saying that the boys were upset and didn’t want to go inside? Was she going to call upset, because she too realized where had the time gone?  So this morning, before I left, I gave both boys a kiss goodbye and told them to have fun today at school. And as Baby A walked over to hug me, I just held him.  I whispered in his ear to look after his little brother today and be nice to the other kids and to make some new friends today. He giggled, kissed me on the check and said “I love you daddy.” And then he was off to play.

Well, as I suspected, my phone rang at 10:05 this morning, in the middle of my 1st meeting of the day. I could tell by the way my wife said hello, that she had been crying. But I could also tell how happy she was, because Baby B jumped out of the car and said “Goodbye Mommy” and took the hand of his new teacher. Baby B waved and took the hand of of the Director of the preschool.  And as we quickly talked, my wife and I talked about how well the boys handle new challenges, maybe sometimes better than we do. They adapt quickly to new things, they have had to their entire lives.

So as I sit here at work, wondering how the boys are doing at their first day of school. I wonder how they are playing with others. I wonder how their morning was. I wonder how they did at story time. I wonder.
I wonder how did my little boys, have their first day of school today?

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