When I got up this morning, every thing just seemed off. My head was hurting, my teeth were hurting, I just wasn’t myself. I knew what today was, how could I not? I knew the meaning of today and I dread it every year. How could I forget?

My phone started dinging around 6:30 a.m. with messages from Facebook and a few text messages trickled through. Rarely do we discuss it, we both know what the other is thinking. We try to act and feel like things are ok and normal, but they aren’t. Normalcy ended 7 years ago today.

Life as we knew it changed with one event, one moment, one second, one phone call, one accident.

7 years ago today, my mother in law was killed in a tragic car accident and forever our lives were and have been changed. So today, 7 years later, I sit in quiet and reflect on the day and what has changed. I wonder quietly how things would be different if that accident had not happened. But it did.

Regrets, yeah I have a few. Not spending more time. She not seeing my sons. And the hurt and pain are still there, even after 7 years.

Tomorrow, life returns to the normalcy that we have embraced. Tomorrow is a new day and the memories fade just a little bit more. Tomorrow will be one day closer to 8 years.

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I don’t have many memories of one of my grandfathers, but one memory that I do have is that when I would see him, we would get in the car, just he and I and we would go and get Strawberry Ice Cream. How I can remember this, I’m not really sure, especially considering the fact that my Grandfather died when I was in 1st grade.

I remember a lot about the day that he died. I remember being pulled from class and talk with the principal. I remember my mother crying and we left school early that day. I remember asking my mom if my Grandfather was going to buy me Strawberry Ice Cream that afternoon and she just cried.

Years pass and not a lot is talked about my Grandfather. Not sure why? But last night, of all nights, my sons ate 4 chicken nuggets, 4 large strawberries and a handful of string beans. And after they finished it up, Baby A looked up and saw an ice cream cone and asked for Strawberry Ice Cream.

In that moment, I was transported back to when I was a little boy. I was taken back to when I was a kid, asking my Grandfather for Strawberry Ice Cream. But tonight, both boys, after they literally cleaned their plates, they both asked for Strawberry Ice Cream and in that second, I remembered my Grandfather. I remembered those Sundays at the Ice Cream place. I tried one other Ice Cream, I didn’t like it and he immediately asked for Strawberry Ice Cream and he quickly ordered it for me.

I could do no wrong in my Grandfather’s eyes. I was his only Grandson. And tonight, my son’s could do no wrong. We sat at the table and laughed and talked and ate Ice Cream, Strawberry Ice Cream cones, just like I did when I was their age.

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Today is an important day. You see, a day doesn’t go by that you are not thought of, a story shared, or a group laugh.  And even though you are not here to celebrate your birthday, we will have dinner and cake and ice cream in your honor tonight and celebrate the life that you lived. You were a role model for many, loved by everyone, and your daughter’s best friend. Today, is just a little reminder that you are not physically with us, but that you are watching over us.

Happy Birthday Mom’s! The boys are doing great, you would have loved every minute with them and been so very proud of them. Just keep watch over them from above.



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Today is a sad day for my family, as it was 3 years ago today, that my wife’s mother was killed in a tragic car accident.  Our lives have been forever changed due to an event that happened in a split second and though my mother in law has never seen or held our sons here on earth, I will forever believe that she got to see them before we did.  I don’t know why I feel that way, but it just gives me a little bit of comfort in knowing that.

Moms, you are loved & missed and there isn’t a day that goes by that you are not thought of or that we tell the boys about you. Even though the boys will never physically know you, they will know all about you, both through the pictures that they will see and the stories that our family and friends will share with them.

Here are the lyrics to Mark Schultz’s song Remember Me, which is what I was listening to when I got the call that snowy afternoon. I will share with you with the chorus only:

And age to age
And heart to heart
Bound by grace and peace
Child of wonder, Child of God
I’ll remember you
Remember Me

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