Love

Unconditional Love can be defined as the following from dictionary.com

affection with no limits or conditions; complete love

And the older that I get, the more that I get to experience that type of love from my children and it just blows me away. Last night, I was tired. I had been up since 4 a.m. and had not slept well. I was exhausted and had been cooking, cleaning, watched a basketball game and by 9 p.m. I was asleep on the sofa.

And in one of my not so finer moments, one of the boys came trotting downstairs and I got upset. He should have been asleep over an hour and a half before. I was frustrated. I was tired. I was upset and most importantly, I was WRONG! I was wrong in my behavior and my actions, but something happened, after I put my son back to bed, even though I was hard on him, he asked me to hold his hand.

I never knew the love of a child and how no matter what, they will love you with a pure and innocent unconditional love. They will hold your hand and want to feel safe, but they will also show you, me, us as parents, that it is ok. Last night, I learned a very important lesson, that no matter what, my children will love me. They will be there when I need them, just as I am there when they need me. They will hug me or hold my hand when I have a bad day. But they will also teach me a lesson when I need on too.

It seems as though I am never truly shocked by what my kids do or what they will say. Sure, there are things that I wish that they would do differently and there are times that I have to get on them, as they need to know right from wrong. But, they too are teaching me that when I do something wrong, they are right there to let me know that they are ok or that everything will be fine.

I am truly blessed. I am blessed with two amazing twin boys that I love to the moon and back. I am blessed to have a wonderful wife, that when I need a swift kick in the butt to get me refocused on being a better parent, she is more than willing to kick me. But I am blessed to have two sons, that love me no matter what and they show me what unconditional love, truly is.

Read more

Piglet: ’’How do you spell ’love’?’’ Pooh: ’’You don’t spell it…you feel it.’’ – Winnie The Pooh

The day before my boys were born, I don’t think that I could put into words, what love really is to me? I don’t think that I could describe correctly and maybe I still can’t today, but the day that I was handed my boys, there was a feeling that came over me that I can’t describe. It was love.

I’ve been asked by a lot of new fathers and several that I know that were having twins, “what is like to have twins?” And I usually smile and say something to the effect, “I never knew how much fun being a dad could be!”

Being a dad is a lot of hard work. There is a fine balance between having fun and having to discipline your kids. But at the end of the day, I love my boys more than anything else in this world. And I don’t know that prior to being a dad, that I loved anyone or anything as much as I do my kids.

As I read the quote from Winnie The Pooh over and over again today, I thought about my sons. I thought about how much joy they have brought me over the years. I thought about how they light up when they figure something out or do something on their own. I love how they are wanting to help me grill or want to watch a UNC game. There is no greater feeling that being a dad and the love that I have for my sons, I can never put into words, because it is something that I could say or spell, but something that I feel.

Read more

Love is Patient, love kind.

Ever been to a wedding a hear that bible verse before? Better yet, have you been to a wedding and not heard it before? I was thinking this morning about that verse and how relevant it is for marriage, but maybe even more so for parenting.

Last night I was trying to launch a new website for work when my wife screamed downstairs, so off I went. As I reach the bathroom I hear “but we don’t use that much toilet paper to wipe our butts!” That is never a good sign.

I grabbed the plunger and off I went to try and loosen up the toilet. Honestly, it was not as bad as I had feared. It took maybe a minute? But what it showed me was a difference in how I handle things and how I was raised.

Growing up, I would have gotten in trouble for stopping up the toilet. Maybe grounded? I stopped for a minute, found Baby B and hugged him and told him that he did a good job of wiping his butt and then we went to the bathroom and I showed him how to get toilet paper off the role and not use as much as he did.

Love is patient, love is kind.

Could it have been bad, sure! But I have had to fix that once before for Baby A, so it isn’t the end of the world. Could I have gotten upset, sure but why? He was trying and didn’t do something intentional. So why react like he did? Instead, I used this as a time to show that I was proud of him and that he did a good job.

Parenting is hard and sometimes, we do have to get upset with our kids. Sometimes, it is hard to be patient, but they are learning and they are trying, so why shouldn’t we show a gentle and loving side to them?  If we teach our children to show love toward others, to be patient toward others and most importantly, be kind toward others, we will have done a great job as parents.

Love is patient, love is kind.

Read more

I was driving into work today and I was thinking about the weekend, how much fun we had going to Trunk or Treat and seeing how happy the boys were dressed up in their costumes. And it hit me how much I just love those little guys.  I’m fortunate that I get to spend so much time with the boys and how much fun that we have. Yes, I’m their parent not their best friend, but I honestly love being around the boys. Now, Saturday night, Boy B was pushing the limits and trying to run away and hide and at home, that is fine, but in a crowded area, makes it a little harder to maintain.

And I think that on top of the weekend, the sermon series is all about a Father’s love and it got me thinking about two specific things, King George Strait and Derek Redmond.

If you are a country music fan, then at some point in time, you’ve sung along with King George and if you are an old school fan, you’ve probably sung a lyric or two from the hit, A Love Without End, Amen. But yesterday, I was thinking about the chorus and it really resonated with me:

“Let me tell you a secret about a father’s love,
A secret that my daddy said was just between us.”
He said, “Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then.
It’s a love without end, amen, it’s a love without end, amen.”

And here is the video:

But George is right, we don’t just love our kids every now and then, we love them everyday and until we take our final breath. And Saturday as I was talking with Boy B about his behavior I didn’t love him any less, in fact, I think that I loved him more in that moment when he put his arms around me and apologized for misbehaving.

And then was actually the clip that we watched in church yesterday about Olympic runner Derek Redmond and how as he was running, tore his hamstring. And as he begin limping towards the finish line a guy from the crowd runs out to help him, his father. And I think that the favorite part for me was when one of the Olympic officials tried to get him to stop and his father basically told him to get away.

A father’s love bound to a normal idea or philosophy, but instead a father’s love is unconditional. A father’s love is a bond and is as strong as nothing else. It is my responsibility as my son’s father to be there for them and help teach and show them how to grow up to be men. To teach them life lessons and to also talk with them when they do wrong. And when they do wrong, and they will, I’ll be there to show them a love without end.

Read more

Love is patient, love is kind.

How many times have you heard that at a wedding? But have you thought about it as it pertains to your kids? With twins, usually if one kid is sick, the other kid will get it too.

This morning, I was cooking breakast, listening to Miles Davis as the kids were playing. Baby A was getting over the croup cough and a fever and Baby B was coming down with a fever. And as I cooked, I thought of a familiar Bible verse and I thought about it in a completely different way:

love is patient, love is kind

Baby A was trying us, he was tired, he was fussy, he was trying to fight with his brother who was fighting a fever and I was trying to cook breakfast and the kids were fighting on sofa and it hit me

Love is patient, love is kind

and it can really mean multiple things at different times in our lives.  It can be a bible verse that is read during your wedding, in times of trouble, I have even heard that verse read at a funeral, but not once have I read/heard that verse rreferenced to child raising.

Today was a trying day.  One kid that was on the minds, one kid that was fighting a fever and my patience was really being tested.  I was struggling to be able to cook and do a little cleaning while the boys were fighting. But, as I thought about the verse, the word that hit me the hardest was love. Because without love, there is no patience. Without love, none of this happens.

So as we get one boy over a sickness and another through the sickness, love remains.

Read more

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (1 Corinthians 13:4) How many times have you heard that bible verse, especially at weddings?

Well, it is something that my wife and I talked a lot about this weekend on our quick mountain getaway. We talked about how it isn’t easy being parents and working full time. We talked about how tired we are. We talked about how we need to do more for each other and put the others needs as a higher priority. But, one really important thing, was about being patient. It is so easy to be short with the ones you love the most, because they will always love you. But being patient and being kind to them, even when you don’t want to be, is really hard.

This morning, around 3:00 am the boys woke up and were ready to play. I was cranky, I was tired and I just wanted to sleep. I was not as patient as I needed to be, but in the middle of trying to get the boys calmed down and downstairs, I reminded my wife, that love is patient, even in times like these.

Read the full verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Bible Gateway

My wife sent me a text earlier to thank me and to tell me how much she appreciated getting up with the boys this morning, and send ended the text very appropriated that Love is patient, Love is kind. I can’t wait to get home today and play with the boys and spend time with my wife.

Read more

I Love You is arguably one of the most powerful phrase in the English language, yet it is so often not used. But every night, my wife and I tell the boys good night and we always tell them, I Love You. And we say it to each boy, because we both want them to know that as individuals, how much we love them.

Well, a few days ago, I was asking Baby A a question and whatever his response was made me laugh. So, I just pulled him close to me and whispered “I Love You” in his ear and gave him a kiss on the head. He looked up and smiled and said “I Love You Daddy”. Well, that was it. I had to wipe the tears away from my eyes at that point.

I do not really remember growing up in a family that said that phrase that much. I am sure that we said it, but I don’t know that it was overly used.  But, I vowed that when I had children that I would say it as often as I could to them, because I always wanted them to know how much they are loved.

So boys, one day you’ll read these blogs and get a glimpse into some of the stories and things that we’ve gone through. I just hope that you know how much I love you and how much you are loved, not just by your mother and myself, but a lot of people.  You have both brought a lot of love and joy to so many lives and we are just lucky to have you both as sons.

 

Read more