Sleep

There are songs that you can sing along to and there are songs that will stop you in your tracks and bring you to place of being able to 100% with the song and the musician.  The first time that I heard the song “Before these walls were blue” by Wade Bowen, I literally had to sit down and just listen.

This past week, our lives have been flipped upside down with trying to prepare for a move. We’ve been packing, trying to line up painters and new carpet, and oh right, plan a birthday for the boys. But Sunday night, I just knew that Boy A was going to have a night terror and I was ok with knowing that I was going to be able to rock him for a few hours that night, because I needed the comfort of protecting him, as much as he needed the comfort of me rocking him to sleep.

As we approached hour two of our rocking, this song came to mind and here is one of the verses and the chorus and then take a listen:

Well I remember sitting there in that old rocker
Reading, trying to get you back to sleep.
Well I’d find myself, laughing at you laughin’
Wishing the hands of time that I could cheat

Yeah I thought that I knew love
Turns out I didn’t have a clue
Before these walls were blue.

As we rocked, I couldn’t believe how time had flown by and all that I wanted to do was slow down time and keep my boys little, just for a few more years. The day that I found out that we were having twins, my head was sent into a whirlwind and I felt so many different emotions, none of which were probably logical or realistic. But as we got closer to the delivery date, the more real things became. But the one emotion that I couldn’t quite grasp, was how could I love these two little boys unconditionally and so completely?

Yeah I thought that I knew love
Turns out I didn’t have a clue
Before these walls were blue.

I had no clue about love, even after they put my sons in my arms. I thought that I had figured out the world, the only thing that I figured out was that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, but that I had to figure it out pretty quickly. And that is what I’ve tried to do.

Sure, I’ve made mistakes as a parent. I wish that I could go back and do things over. But the one thing that I realize day after day, before the walls in the boys room were painted blue, I had no concept of love. And as my boys grow up, they are doing more on their own and need my help, less and less, so as I seem them learning new things or handling things on their own, I just wish that the hands of time would slow down a little bit, so that I can continue to take it all in.

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A few weeks ago, after a stretch of a few hard nights with Boy A and his night terrors, we broke down and bought the Lully to help him sleep better.

At first, I was a little skeptical, because in theory, I should be able to continue to reduce the number of night terrors by adjusting his sleep schedule. But for a stretch that wasn’t the case. I was sticking with our normal nighttime routine and nothing was working.  My wife was in a Mom’s group on Facebook and another parent posted about the Lully and how it had reduced the night terrors down to 1 a week. I figured what the heck, it was not cheap, but if it helped him sleep and me too, then it was worth it.

So the first night that we got the device, I immediately charged it and got it setup but I somehow misread/misunderstood that the device had to be charged up. My bad. So, yeah, I took the Lully device and put it back downstairs and wouldn’t you know it, he had a night terror that night. The next time and since then, I was able to use the device and so far it seems to be working.

Last night, I knew before putting the boys down that Boy A was going to have a night terror. All of the typical patterns of behavior of being over exhausted were there, so last night was going to be the first true test of Lully. It took him a few minutes to get settled and 50 minutes later, I was back up ready to use the device and try to wake him slowly out of his sleep. Within 5 seconds of turning on the device, he moved his legs, 5 seconds later he was stirring around.

Well, it worked! No night terror. He was able to sleep through the night and I was able to have a good night sleep. Thanks Lully!

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Well, it appears that the boys have had a relapse with their strep. Yesterday, one of the boys was at the Dr and the other went to daycare, but came home not feeling well.

A friend of mine asked how hard it was on me as a parent to see my kids not feeling well and I really couldn’t put it into words. I know how I am when I don’t feel well and it is hard, but seeing your kids not feel well and not being able to really do anything, is just the worse feeling in the world. As a parent, it is our job to protect our kids and provide them with a safe and loving environment, but the reality is, they will get sick and they will get hurt.

A relapse to a sickness isn’t that uncommon, in fact, it happens more than we want to realize. But the reality of it is that our society is willing to take medicine because it is a quick fix, when in reality, there is a good chance that we are causing more harm than good to our bodies long term. And I am the worlds worse.  Since I was 5, I’ve had tubes in my ears, well as of January of 2016, 10 or 11 times in each ear. And when I get a sinus infection and I can usually tell pretty quickly, I’m at a urgent care center getting the three medications that I need. Should I wait? Maybe? But I don’t have time to wait!

Being a parent is a full time job, 24/7 365 days a year. But the reality is that parents, like kids, don’t have time to get sick and a relapse only slows things down that much more. But right now, in this moment, that even though it looks like a minor relapse for the boys, they are in relative terms, healthy. They aren’t in a Children’s Hospital. They are here with me. They are safe. They are getting better. They are my life and I will do everything that I can to protect and keep them safe and tonight and tonight, if they wake up, again at 3:00 a.m., I’ll take them downstairs and rock them and keep them comforted. Because, that is what a parent does when their child is sick.

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A phrase that I hate to use before the end of the year, before Christmas, etc. but this last week has been a rough stretch for us. The end of the year is crunch time for all of us, work, play, etc. But this past week has been especially rough, because the oldest has been going through night terrors again.

We’ve had a lot of changes between daycare and adjustments with schedules, etc. But the last few nights have been hard, because there isn’t much that I can pin point and directly say, yeah, that is causing the night terrors. Sure, maybe off his schedule and exhausted, that could definitely be an issue. His eating was ok, mostly fruit and a slice of pizza, so not a huge amount of sugar. Growing? Maybe?

But here is what I did realize this morning around 2:00 A.M., it doesn’t matter. We all go through a rough stretch from time to time. And even though he is having these night terrors, he doesn’t remember them in the morning, though he did say that he didn’t sleep well last night. But all in all, I really don’t think that he has any concept of what is going on. And, the other realization that I had, is that there isn’t a lot of solid advice on what to do either to resolve it. There were suggestions, some we’ve tried, some I discredit based on conversations with our pediatrician and a family friend that is a psychologist.

So tonight, a new routine, not exact, but I think that it will be close.

  1. Dinner by 7 p.m. (usually they were eating around 7:30 p.m.) and no tv.
  2. Cleanup the living room and watch 2 quick YouTube videos of Puff the Magic Dragon and Rainbow Connection.
  3. Bath by 8 p.m.
  4. Ready for bed and quiet time by 8:30 p.m.

Here is my logic. The boys are more active now and playing harder at daycare, thus they are getting exhausted quicker. We were letting the boys watch 4 YouTube videos and though I am not thinking that this is the issue that is triggering the night terrors, it is better safe than sorry to just make several changes, all at once. And finally, quiet time before bed, this will consist more of stories that I read and/or make up and tell them, as my father did for me.

I have no clue if this is going to work or not, but 3 nights in a row of sleeping sitting up in a recliner is paying its toll on me and I really need some sleep. Rough stretch, sure, it hasn’t been the easiest, but this year, as I reflect on the year, we’ve had a good year and more to come on that in a future post next week. But all in all, our rough stretch is just a part of being a parent. Just when you think that you’ve got things figured out, something changes and there may or may not be a reason for it, but you have to roll with it.

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For the last 10 Days, my wife has been sick with an upper respiratory infection and for the last 7 days, I’ve been dealing with the same thing. It has really been hard on our family, because we still had to take care of our kids, while trying to get better.

I like to believe that any situation that we are faced, both if it is something good or a challenge like being sick, that my wife and I can learn from it so that the next time, we are able to handle it even better. Because there will be a next time.

The things that we did well:

  • We communicated a lot when I was at work & if I needed to come home early or pick up the kids from daycare.
  • We took turns putting the boys to bed. This allowed for at least one to get an earlier start to resting.

The things that we didn’t do as well:

  • We got short with each other, which is understandable because we were sick and didn’t have the patience.
  • We didn’t ask for help as quickly when we needed it.

10 days being sick is a long time. And it is especially harder when you are sick with children. But one thing that we both learned, is that we were able to come through it, the boys were ok, I’m all but over mine and my wife is getting there.

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I knew that it was going to happen sooner than later, but really didn’t expect for it to happen yesterday. After 2 days in a row of the boys climbing out of their cribs at nap time and coming downstairs, we decided that it was time to convert the cribs to a big boy bed.

When we took the boys upstairs before dinner to show them the new beds, they got all excited. They started running around the room, then jumping on the beds. I guess they assumed that they were new beds, not converted down from their cribs?

Regardless, when it was time to point the boys down last night, it did take a little longer than usual. Before, we put them in their cribs, sing and then it was lights out. Now, they have the freedom to move around the room. So it took longer to start a new routine of settling down, not jumping on the bed and the boys even switched beds last night. But, after about 30 minutes, they both crawled up in my lap and we rocked. And Baby A kissed me goodnight and went to climb in his bed. Baby B then did the same thing.

All was well until 1:30 am this morning when Baby A woke up and came into our room. But, Baby B stayed in his big boy bed all night long. And today, I needed to stay home due to an emergency situation at the Nanny’s house, and we are on day 3 of not taking a nap, but they are playing nicely from what I can tell. No jumping up and down, or running around. If I had to guess, they are doing the same thing that they were doing 30 minutes ago when I checked on them, laying in the floor, tired and barely awake, playing with their trains.

Here is to hoping that Night 2 of the Big Boy Bed works better for Baby A.

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The words that no parent ever wants to hear from their child’s Doctor. But those are the words I heard the other morning.  Baby A has been having a pretty rough time lately with a really bad cold. But he started getting better and then literally overnight, he was coughing and the coughing turned to croup.  The cough didn’t get any better after a day or two so we called the Pediatrician to have him checked out, because his breathing was a little different this time. He was still playing, eating and acting like himself for the most part, but this time, he sounded like Darth Vadar when he breathed.

The Doctor and I were talking and she very calmly told me, that Baby A as expected had the Croup cough, but that he also had Stridor, which is something that I had never heard of. I give the Doctor a lot of credit, I guess she saw a little bit of panic in my face and she basically explained the treatment, which was a steriod and if that did not resolve the problem, that we would need to goto the ER for breathing treatments. But, she suggested that we drive with the windows down on the drive home and then also going to the playground, because with it being a chilly day, the cold air will help with his breathing.

So, that is what we did. Got the prescription field, drove home with the windows down and then after his nap, we went to the playground. It was cold running after he and his brother, but it helped. We did not have to goto the ER, this time at least. And I’m sure that at some point, we will, but we were at least able to avoid it for the time being him.

We are almost a week into the cold, again, and I think that we are getting over the hump of the cold. Or I hope at least. But, I will say two things: 1) I hope that you have a great Pediatrician that you trust and that is available, even on the weekends and 2) please look for the signs for Croup and Stridor. Though not super dangerous, from what I’ve read, the Stridor portion can be if not monitored. And even though I love Star Wars, I can’t imagine talking like Darth Vadar is a fun thing.

 

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I am asked all the time, so when the kids do not sleep, what do you do? Luckily for us, this has been a few and far between problem. Usually, one boy will wake up and the other will sleep. Last night, was an odd night. They both woke up at 12:45am and neither wanted to go back to sleep. So what do I do when the kids do not sleep? I took them downstairs, we all had some milk, we had some soft classical music playing and we played. This last for 2 hours, but at the end of the day, even though I had less sleep than I wanted, I got to spend 2 hours with the boys.  We played, we laughed, we rocked, we laughed more, we played more and we had fun. Was it the ideal time? No, but I am grateful that I had 2 hours of uninterrupted time with them. Even if it was at 2am.

So what do you do when the do not sleep?

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When your children are not sleeping through the night, it can really have a major affect on you. Recently, I even slept downstairs in the play area with one of our sons because he woke up at 11:30 again. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep very well that night.  I have noticed too, that when he does not sleep, my wife and I are usually shorter with others and do not have the patience with the other. But we are trying really hard, to instead of getting short with each other, stop, think, then respond. When you are both tired, especially when your kids are not sleeping, you have to remember that you are working together to raise your children.

I really believe that once when you think that you have figured out your children, like them not sleeping, they change it up on you and throw you off your game.

So tonight, skip the not sleeping and try something new, like actually sleeping through the night again.

 

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My wife and I have been very blessed when it comes to our boys sleep patterns. For the first 3 months, they slept for 2 hours at a time, had a bottle, would sleep for 2 more hours and so forth. At our 3 month Doctor visit, I asked the Doctor how long before they would sleep through the night. He laughed and told me that we had a while. I guess a week was a while, because the following week, both boys on the same night, started sleeping 6 – 8 hours at a time. Oh, what a beautiful thing.

Then it happened.  At 10 months old, Baby A started waking up at 11:30pm on the dot every night, screaming. So what changed? Was he teething? Was he growing? He wasn’t talking and telling us what was wrong, so we were left to guess. Everyone told us to let him cry it out. Normally, that would be ok. But we live in a townhouse and the next door neighbor likes to beat on the wall when he starts crying. So, that really didn’t help the situation at all. We called our Pediatrician and asked for advice, they too said to let him cry it out, but they also suggested to give him extra food before he goes to bed. That night, we moved Baby A downstairs into our living room, setup the pack and play, put on some classical music, feed him, gave him extra food, kissed him on the head and off we went. 7:00am the next morning, I go downstairs, there he is, sitting up smiling. This goes on for 2 more weeks. A full night sleep.

Then it happened again. Now, we are at 11 months old and he started waking up at 11:30 pm. So for almost a week, every night he would wake up. What changed? He was still downstairs. He was still listening to classical music. He now had 2 more teeth to come through. So what was it? What changed? Well, before calling the Pediatrician, I did some Google searches to see if this was a common issue or not and it was – Read about it here on Baby Center . Was he hitting a milestone? He did just start to walk. There might be a few more teeth coming in. It does look like he is growing. Wait, that might be it. If he is growing, could that mean that he is waking up at 11:30pm, which is 4 hours after he last ate, which is about the time in between his bottles during the day, was he hungry? That night, I gave him 4 oz. of formula and what do you know, he slept through the night.

I am not saying that this will work for you if your child is crying. I’m not a Pediatrician, so always ask them first, which is what we did. But, so far so good. We have given him the extra formula and we are all able to sleep through the night again. Let’s just hope that this continues.

Sleep, it is a wonderful thing.

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