Financial

Broken heart and broken dreams and a broken soul, just a few of the feelings that I had this weekend. But I think that in the course of a few hours of feeling as though I had hit rock bottom, that I went from feeling at the lowest of the lows, I felt as though I started to be rebuilt.

After a long talk with my wife Sunday morning, for the first time in almost 8 years of marriage, I felt as though I could take away from some of the “weight” that I had to always carry on my shoulders. I felt as though we were finally on the same page of working together on fiances. I felt as though we had a solid understanding and plan.

And in a quick conversation that actually started about one thing, but transitioned into something completely different. But I guess I needed to share my feelings, my concerns, my frustrations and felt amazing after we talked. For the first time, we had a plan. For the first time, that feeling of being broken and defeated, was not there. I felt that I could take a deep breath and relax and be ok with somethings.

My point to this blog, is that I want my kids to know that they are going through times where they feel broken and defeated, but it is how you respond to that feeling that will determine the outcome. For me, I internalized everything and only shared my frustrations with 2 people and that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to me and it certainly wasn’t fair to my wife. I didn’t take my frustrations over the years out on her, I just did what I had to do to keep us a float.

But today, as I sit at work, I’m not stressed about money. I mean, I am and will always be to a point, but for the first time, I feel as though I have someone helping me to get us to a point where our future will be much brighter. I want to be able to send my kids to school and have them come out debt free. I want to teach my kids the importance of being fiscally responsible. And it is so easy to just want something and pay for it later. We’ve all done it and some more than others. And in by no means, are we at a point that we are in trouble financially, but we need to be smarter with our money and will be smarter with our money going forward.

We have a plan. We are going to hold each other accountable. We are going to be responsible and plan out certain purchases, instead of just doing it today and putting it on the card.

Yesterday, I felt like I was broken and destroyed. Today, I feel that there is a hope and brighter outlook. Today, will start a new day on many fronts. Financial, emotional and physical.

Stayed tuned.

 

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Growing up, I really struggled with patience and I think that it about broke my father and my backside. I wanted things right then and I wanted things done the way that I wanted them done. But guess what? Life doesn’t work that way and today, I was shown that in a humbling way.

For the last week I have been fighting a bad sinus infection, which for where I live, has been a constant for the last 7 years. And today, after waking up and not being able to hear, I gave in and called to get an appointment with my ENT and luckily, he had 2 openings this afternoon. After getting there and catching up with the Doctor, we decided to have him put in tubes again in both ears. Yes, both ears and yes, I’m getting close to 40. But the point is, I had to have it done then, I couldn’t wait. Sure, I could show patience and wait a few more weeks, but that could cause problems and further complications. So, he performs the minor surgery and off I go.

Yesterday for my downtime, I cooked and cooked a lot. But my new weekly food to make is my homemade salsa. And who doesn’t love just saying the word salsa? The kids don’t eat it, but man it is delicious. So, I’m on the phone with my dad and I’m frustrated because this was the 11th time in my life that I’ve had tubes and the pain and frustration, etc. And as we are talking and I’m waiting to checkout, I see the guy in front of me digging through his pockets for money. He only had 3 items, a bottle of water, band aids and a banana.  And as I’m talking with my Dad, this guy is struggling to find the money. And when I say money, it was about $2.00 roughly.

My dad was asking me questions, I could see the cashier was getting frustrated and the guy, mind you, he looks like he hasn’t showered for days and because of my allergies and sinus infection I couldn’t smell him. But I realized something, this guy didn’t have the money and it was in that moment, I had 2 options: 1) let the guy put the food back or 2) pay the $2.00, because honestly, $2.00 wasn’t anything in my day, as that is what I spend on a cup of coffee almost daily.

Daily, I spend more for a drink than this guy ate all day. And as I’m talking with my Dad, I politely asked if I could call him back and I handed the cashier the money that he needed and told the gentleman to keep his money for another day. There was a couple behind me that rolled their eyes and the guy couldn’t have thanked me enough, as I’m sure that he was embarrassed. The cashier thanked me and we smiled and waved to the guy as he walked out of the store.

When I got my dad back on the phone, he asked me what happened and I seemed replied that I helped a guy that was down on his luck, who looked like he needed a little bit of hope today and that even though it wasn’t much, I think that it gave him at least one meal today. And as I hung up with my Dad, I realized, that a few years ago, I wouldn’t have done that. I wouldn’t have given it a second thought, I would have been frustrated and in a hurry to get out of the store and go home and rest. My ears were hurting, I just wanted to relax. But today, I got to experience that life lesson that I’ve been learning since I was the age of my boys and how today, that patience taught me and reminded me how lucky that I am.

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To my sons, this is my hope and wishes for you.

Regrets, yeah I’ve a few in my life and some of those have seemed to have crept up lately and got me thinking.  So I wanted to share a few thoughts and ideas.

  • Life is to short to have any regrets, so live today as it is your last. Live life to the fullest everyday, as we aren’t guaranteed that there is a tomorrow.
  • Follow your heart and your passions for your career and know that you are able to change directions at anytime. BUT, choose a career that you love doing and the day that you wake up and dread going into work that day, it is time to change.
  • Travel. See the country. Eat in dives. Drink really good beer. Visit the Grand Canyon and sit in silence and listen to the sounds. Visit the beach on the east coast and put your toes in the sand and take a cross country flight to LA and goto the beach there and do the same thing. Experience as much as you can of local cultures and talk with strangers. Yes, today as you are a child, do not talk with strangers, but when you are an adult. Talk with strangers and learn and absorb the culture.
  • Learn to cook. You are both well on your way to this now as you both help me a lot to cook or grill. But learn to cook and learn to cook different foods and really challenge yourself and your love of food. And remember, a cheap grill is just that, cheap. Spend the money for a nice grill and it is an investment that will be well worth it.
  • Save your money. It isn’t the most important thing, but will afford you the ability to do the things that you love doing.
  • Faith – have faith in something. We will do our best to introduce you, but it will ultimately be up to you to continue that faith in a higher being.
  • The old saying is very true. It is better to give than receive. Help someone else that is less fortunate than you are. You have never gone a day of wanting in your life. You have been blessed beyond what you’ll ever be able to know and understand, so help someone that needs a chance.
  • Your mom and I will not always be there for you, so learn how to take care of yourself and learn to pickup after yourself. I was 21 before I learned how to wash clothes, you will learn before then and your wives will thank you and us.
  • And this might be the most important life lesson that I have for you. When you meet the love of your life and you will know it and please, do not let her go. TRUST ME on this one guys, you’ll regret it everyday if you do and it will cause a lot of heartache, frustrations and struggles. If you learn nothing else from me, learn this.

Life is hard. Life will throw you curve balls, but you have to sit back and wait for the right pitch to take and promise me that you’ll live your life to the fullest and life with no regrets.

These are just a few of the life lessons that I hope to be able to share with you throughout your life, but life is too short to live with regrets.

 

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We have been trying to really focus on two things this year, 1) Paying down debt and 2) our giving of time and money to charity and to church and thus far, we haven’t done that bad, I don’t think. But what has really come out of the giving, is how great it feels to give to others.

Paying down debt – If we stay on track, we will have 3 cards paid off in 10 months and that will put us 1/3rd of the way to our goal. BUT and what is even more important than that, we will be able to start really putting a lot more towards down and finish up these credit cards a lot faster. In theory, we should be able to knock out all of our debt in less than 2 years. We have cut cable and that is saving us roughly $150 a month and then we have done a few other little things, like the Dollar Shave Club, we have started doing even more shopping at Aldi for produce and basic items and we are buying our meat in bulk from Wegmans, to name a few. But these savings should really start to add up and I was asked this week if I missed cable at all and I realized that I hadn’t thought about it, so no.

Giving – Giving to others is very important to both my wife and myself. We were both raised that it is better to give to others than to receive. So, in quickly looking over our finances, I realized that we are on track by the end of May to have already surpassed our giving totals for all of 2014. We have already committed $1,000 in extra giving, which does not factor into our giving to local charities and also to church.  And mind you, this is while we are paying down debt. But what is great about giving is that we are showing the boys that it is better to give to others, especially those that are less fortunate.

So far for our family goals, we are on schedule and actually ahead of schedule for our giving.

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We finally made the decision, we are cutting the cord! We are joining millions of families that have made the decision to move away from cable and thus far, it has been amazing.

Enough was enough. I realized one night that we weren’t watching TV that much, so why have a massive TV channel option, if we watched, maybe 10% of the channels? And it was at that moment, that I looked up our monthly bill and almost fell out of my chair, as it was now $220 a month.  After a little research and chatting with our cable provider a few things were really clear to me in my thought process:

  1. I wasn’t going to get all of my Sporting events that I am use to viewing.
  2. I was going to need to add a Digital Antenna.
  3. I needed to look at another device, i.e. Roku to supplement other 3rd party providers.
  4. The cable company didn’t care or try to keep us as a customer.

1) Sporting Events – I love sports! I live for College Basketball and Football. There is nothing better than watching football on a Saturday, but here is the realization with kids, I wasn’t getting to watch many games. At best, I got in 1 – 3 College Football games in a year and I did get most of my basketball games, but a lot of times I was recording them and watching them after the kids went to bed. So my argument to keep cable for sports, quickly went away.

2) Digital Antenna – I wanted to keep local channels, just in case we needed local coverage. There were many websites that provided options and data on which would work best. I did have 1 limitation that I was faced with and that is that I didn’t want a rooftop or exterior antenna, due to the fact that our plan is to move. So I wanted/needed something that would be mobile and easy to use and setup. I settled with the Mohu 50 after a lot of research and so far, I have been impressed. I have been able to watch golf and the Kentucky Derby with minor issues. But all in all, it has worked just fine and I am out $70 for the antenna.

3) Devices and 3rd party providers – We have a Sony Blue Ray player with web apps, such as Netflix, Hulu Plus, Amazon, MLB, etc. so we were covered with being able to watch all of our shows that my wife and I enjoy and also the shows that boys like. I get my sports fix with my MLB package so that I can watch the Astros and this becomes a win win situation.  And then another app came out called Sling TV and they offer ESPN and a lot of the cooking shows that I enjoy, but Sling TV isn’t available on the Sony Blue Ray. After conversations with a buddy of mine, he convinced me to get a Roku and man, that has been awesome! There are so many more channels that we’ve opened up a whole new library of kids shows and other shows for my wife and I to watch, that I really don’t see the need to ever go back to cable. But, from a cost stand point, a new Roku player was $100, we have Netflix at $8/month, Hulu Plus $8/month, we already had Amazon $99/yr and then I got the MLB package for $125. See the breakdown below for a better comparison)

4) Cable didn’t care that we were leaving – I called and chatted with reps from the cable company, explained my desire to cut the monthly cost, significantly and their best offer was cutting our bill by $20 month, which didn’t factor in taxes, etc. so really the $20 a month savings, was closer to $10. There was a time when cable companies would get creative and try to keep customers, but I think that those days are long gone. So, they didn’t fight to keep me and they could have kept me as a basic cable subscriber for the right offer, but they didn’t try to keep my business and I didn’t feel bad turning in the equipment. Now, our monthly bill is $50 a month, down from $220 a month, for a savings of $170 a month.

I get it, I really see why people are cutting the cord more and more everyday. It makes sense, especially if you aren’t watching tv. But let’s look at real numbers on monthly costs:

ServiceMonthly CostYearly CostOne Time FeesSavings
Cable Service$220$2,640$170/month or $2,040/yearly
Netflix$8$96$0
Hulu Plus$8$96$0
Amazon$0$99$0
Digital Antenna$0$0$70$0
Roku$0$0$99$0
MLB Package$0$125$0
Totals$236$2,957$169$2,040

The reality is actually even simpler than the cost savings, we are reading more at night, spending more time as a family and less distractions and we are getting outside more. I know, it isn’t normal to say that we are unplugging and cutting the cord, but we have and we have loved it. In quick numbers, because I like to look at real term facts and measurements. By saving $170 a month, just from cable, we will be able to pay off 2 more credit card bills in less than 1 year! There, I said it, there is another benefit to cutting the cord, financial and getting out of debt faster.

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The decision has been made, we are cancelling cable!  Let me put this in a different way, we are going to be saving over $125 a month by cancelling cable and thus, that is $100 a month extra that can be put toward getting us out of debt faster. In other words, cutting out cable will be a wonderful thing.

Sure, I’m going to miss out on NFL games and college basketball next year, but next year might be a different place in our lives? Maybe we need a basic cable package or maybe, we just keep living without cable and we go out to eat on game nights? Who knows? But today, right now, I am so happy to be cutting the cable dependencies. It will be a change, but it will be a good and welcomed change.

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Changing leavesJust like the leaves are changing and the seasons are changing, I am finding the need to make some changes in my life too. And today seems like a greT day to start.

1) lose weight – I need to lose 30 pounds atleast, but probably more  I want to be around for my kids.  So today I walked about 10,000 steps, and continued to modify my diet by implementing a morning Beachbody Shakeology Shake.

2) find a church home – This has really bothered me, just as much as the being overweight.  I miss the church and fellowship that I had when I was in Texas and it is something that I want my kids to  have as they grow up.

3) better financial position – This is a constant struge for most Americans.  One minute I feel that we are moving in the right direction, the next I am up all night worrying.  My wife and I are really focused on getting out of debt and have been throwing all the extra cash that we can at paying down credit card debt.  But, if we can get all of our debt paid off in 2 years, we should be able to save enough to pay for all 4 years of college for both boys and increase our 401k contributions from 8 to 12%+!

4) technology- My job and life revolves around technology  so this is going to be hard.  But I really want to cut back on my usage and dependency on technology.  This is crucial because I constantly get emails, text messages, calls, etc and everytime one of those messages comes in at night, it takes away from my kids.

These are a lot of changes and I realize that.  But i have asked several friends and my wife to help keep me accountable and focused.  So as the seasons are changing and the leaves have started to slowly change colors, I too am changing and I hope that these changes are for the best and for my sons.

 

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Here is a phrase that most will never say, “Happy Tax Day”. Ok, maybe the spouses of CPAs, but that might be it.

Well, I did my financially responsible thing this morning, I mailed off my check for the taxes that we owe. At first, I was really upset that we owed. Then, I looked at that we did well financially this year. And then I got frustrated again with myself, because I like to get our taxes close to zero. The last few years we have had a ping pong effect. We went from owing, to getting back a large sum, to getting back a smaller sum, to this year owing.

I’ve had a few conversations with my CPA already about next year. We are on track to give even more this year, even with paying down our credit card debt and also paying off our tax bill, we are in a good position. If things stay the course, we are looking at 3 more credit cards being paid off in the next few months. Then, we tackle the big ones.

So, as I think about the day and reading the recent job numbers and how many are looking for work, I feel blessed to be in a position that we did well financially last year and hope to do even better this year. But this year, hopefully we’ll be able to mitigate some of our taxes.

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Murphy’s Law, if it can happen or go wrong, it will.  And if it does go wrong, it usually goes wrong in a bad way.

Now, there are two ways to look at this, glass half empty or half full.

Last night I got an email from my CPA saying that we owed a considerable amount this year. Now, I write this and I’m waiting on confirmation back from him on a few things, so the number should go down some. BUT, my first thought was holy crap, how are we going to pull this off? Half empty. First thought was not that we were fortunate enough to get raises give more money last year, etc. It was how are we are going to pay this off? I went to bed worried. I went to bed thinking how we could shave off of our budget to cover this?

I woke up this morning, stressed out. I woke up concerned. But I woke up.

I woke up to hearing Baby A calling my name. Not screaming, but saying “It’s morning Daddy!”

We’ve been blessed beyond belief. We have been able to save, build a little of an emergency fund, which we will have to use some of it more than likely to pay off the tax bill. But we’ve been blessed. And as I was making coffee for me and a cup of Apple Juice for Baby A, as Baby B and my wife slept, I realized that sure, Murphy’s Law likes to hit at really bad times. Sure, I could use that extra money that I’ll be paying to the government each month to pay down credit cards. But maybe this is a chance for us to get creative? Maybe this is a time that I pickup a few extra websites and make a little side money? Maybe now, we are in a better place financially and can look at Murphy’s Law as a slight speed bump in the road of life, as opposed to the doom and gloom that we once did.

I’m choosing to look today at Murphy’s Law as a glass full of stuff, that from time to time, we just have to deal with.

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Every year, my wife and I take a day and spend it doing our tax prep for our CPA. This year, no different, except 1 big thing, our household income went up by $1,000.00, we paid off 2 credit cards off and WE GAVE MORE TO CHARITY by $1,000.00. Why is that huge? Because my wife and I share 1 huge belief, that is that we are blessed beyond belief.

Not only that, we double our donations to Goodwill. Again, helping others. We are on the road to living like no one else, so that we can give like no one else. We have really been focused this year with paying down debt and in looking at what we gave, adding the small amount of extra income, paying off debt, etc. it was a good year. Even if we have to pay a little this year, it looks like we are on the right track.

In looking at all the tax prep that we’ve done, I think that the conversation with the CPA this year will be more of what we can change for next year to even get us to our end goal faster.

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