Family

CrossWhen I was in Texas, the small group that I was a part of that meet every Sunday morning would start each class with a simple question: “Seen God this week?” And it was a simple question, but one that was really powerful for me.  It really made me more aware of what was going on during the week, to stop and look around for how God was working not only in my life but others. And when I started really focusing on this, I saw things differently.

Years later, I move to the east coast. I still attend church, just not as involved as I was out in Texas. This is for my reasons, but it dawned on my a few weeks ago how much I missed answering that question every week. So it got me thinking, have I seen God this week? And it was a simple yes! I saw him when I woke up this morning and got to see my sons smiling at me. I will see him again tonight when I go home from work and my boys start jumping up and down waiting for me to play with them.

And every night, before I go to sleep, I thank God for having another day with my little boys and hope that he gives me tomorrow with them as well.  But now that I am more aware of this need/desire, it has renewed my energy about God. I might not be involved with my current church as I was with the church in Texas and that is for many reasons, but I will be reading the bible more. I just purchased two books by Adam Hamilton “24 Hours That Changed The World” & “Final Words at the Cross ” and hope to start reading them this weekend. I hope that these book continue to help me seek a deeper relationship with God, which will ultimately make me a better father.

So, as you go about your week and daily activities, stop and ask yourself if you have seen God this week?

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In 2008, my wife’s mother was killed in an automobile accident. After a few months, my wife and I decided to seek help in dealing with our loss by seeking help from a Grief Counselor. We got a lot out of the counseling, but one thing that has really stuck with us and that has been really important in our marriage, planning trips.

Whenever my wife and take a trip, whether it is with or without the boys, before we leave for the trip we plan our next trips. It is pretty basic actually, this gives us something to look forward when we return home. It gives us something to look forward to, something to start thinking about and planning. Looking for attractions to visit, restaurants, places to take the boys, etc.

Taking trips can be a wonderful thing, either as a family or just as a couple. It allows you to get away, clear your head and most importantly, reconnect as a couple. So before your next trip, start planning and even booking the next place that you want to visit.

Here are a few photos from a trip that brought me a little comfort:

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I just wanted to take a moment to wish my wife a Happy Mothers Day. She does so much to make sure that the boys are taken care of, feed, organized, etc. The boys and I are very lucky to have such an amazing woman.

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Is there anything worse than sick child?  Especially when they are young and are unable to tell you what is wrong.  Recently one of our boys got the stomach virus and was throwing up and had an upset stomach. It was hard keeping him comfortable and nights were even harder, because even though he was tired, he did not want to sleep.

The first thing that I did, was call my mom and ask her what to do. This was my first experience with a sick child and even though I thought that I knew what to do, I wanted some reinforcements from someone with more experience.  After we talked, I felt better and felt more comfortable with what I was doing, which was just comforting him and making sure that he kept drinking fluids to stay hydrated. We also called the Dr’s office to let them know and also to find out if there was anything else that we could do.

And yes, we all ultimately got the stomach virus, but it is one thing to get it as an adult, but a sick child is hard to watch, especially when you are the parent.

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My wife and I have had many conversations lately about places that we would like to take the boys as they grow up. This is going to be an on going list that we will update, both once we complete the visit, as well as new places that we want to take them. So, here goes the initial list:

 

Place City State Notes
Dean E. Smith Center Chapel Hill NC We will have to find a UNC game to take the boys to once they are older.
Carolina Basketball Museum Chapel Hill NC Since this is literally next door to the Dean E. Smith Center, we will combine both into one trip.
Baseball Hall of Fame Cooperstown NY My wife and I went for the 2007 induction for Cal Ripken, Jr.
Yankee Stadium New York NY As a life long Yankee fan, it is only fitting that we take the boys.
Wright Brothers Museum Nags Head NC
Arlington National Cemetery Washington DC
Army vs. Navy game
DC Tour Sites Washington DC Standard tour spots, The Capital, White House, etc.
Field of Dreams Iowa IA Where the movie Field of Dreams was shot.
New Orleans New Orleans LA This will be a trip for when the boys get a little older, but it is such a great city to visit.

This list is going to grow and will be an on going updated list. I can not wait for the boys to get older so that they can experience these places.  Any suggestions?  Please let me know.

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Saturday’s are becoming more and more our family day. We take a more laid back approach to the day. Cleaning, grocery store and we try to get the kids to the park or at least spend some time outside.

It is important to spend time together as a family. Our weeks are jammed pack with work and meetings, so my wife and I have really tried to make our Saturday our family day. I hope that as our boys get older, that they too look forward to family day as much as I do.

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This morning on the drive in to work I was listening to Sqwak Box, as I do most mornings.  At the 8:30am the jobless claims numbers were released for the previous week.  But something happened this morning that was not expected, the jobless claims was higher than expected, by several thousand (read the story from Marketwatch).  For the record, I am not an economist, I am just an average person that takes interest in what is going on in our economy, because it has a tremendous impact on everything that we do. The jobless claims numbers were released and the pre-market stock numbers dropped. Why, because the stock traders were not expecting the increase in jobless claims and maybe it caused a sense of fear or uncertainty?

The biggest problem with reading these numbers, in my opinion are two things:
1) Two weeks ago the jobless claims were revised from 380,000 to 388,000.
2) The weekly jobless claims that was released today came in at 386,000, up about 7,000 higher than expected, but these numbers factor in seasonal employees.

The problem that I have with the seasonal employees is just that, they are seasonal. It is like factoring into the equation construction employees that file when the weather is bad. The jobless claims is always going to fluctuate, but I think until we change the way that the unemployment numbers are being reported, i.e. only the people that are currently receiving unemployment are factored into the number, not those that have given up on looking for jobs and/or those whose benefits have run out, will we ever have a true gauge on our workforce.

I have seen friends recently that have been included in the jobless claims numbers week after week and it just makes me feel very blessed to be in a situation where I am able to provide for my family. And I can only speak for myself, but those friends of mine that have been out of work, would have given anything for a job, but they just aren’t there. Employers are not hiring right now because of the uncertainty of our economy. Many were told time and time again, wait until after the election and we see what happens. Wait? People can not wait for 7 months without a job. People need to work now. Our country needs to take the necessary steps to get our workforce back employed. The “shovel ready projects” that President Obama promoted and I think that he put it best, were not “shovel ready” after all.  The Keystone Pipeline would have employed 20,000 people, but that was shut down.  And this isn’t an attack against the President. But our country needs leaders that can help get our workforce employed again.  We need to create tax incentives for small businesses to hire more workers. We need to give big companies tax breaks to bring their manufacturing jobs back over to the US and hire Americans that want to work, that need to work.  President Obama inherited problems from President Bush, no question about it. And I think that both are equally to blame. I think that it is time to put politics and political gain to the side and let’s do what is right for our country.

Look at it from a real and practical view: the more people that are out of work, means that there is less discretionary income being spent by people. That means that there are less family vacations being taken. There are fewer people going out to eat. Fewer cars being purchased. Fewer homes being purchased. According to an article that I recently read, schools are sending home at record numbers, food for children to eat over the weekend, OVER THE WEEKEND, because their families can not afford for them to eat.  It is all tightly woven together. No job = No money!

So tonight, when I go home and hug my kids and I will be grateful that I am not part of the jobless claims numbers this week. And I am sure that at some point in time, we will face a similar economic crisis in this country again and I will have to sit my boys down and explain all of this to them. Explain why their friends families are losing their homes. Explain why we are not going out to eat as much or going on vacation.

If you are out of work this week, I hope that you are able to find work soon. And if you are like me, who has a good job, feel blessed and don’t take it for granted, because it could be you tomorrow explaining to your children about the economy and why you can not go out to eat tonight, because you recently lost your job.

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Today, you turn 1, Happy Birthday! It seems like just yesterday I was in the waiting room and the nurse came in to get me to take me back to the OR. And within minutes, you were here. I remember your mom looking at me and saying how much she loved you and all I could think of was how wrinkly you were. But as I sit here today, I can not imagine my life without you.

There were a lot of challenges to get you here, but those are things that I’ll share with you when you get much older. I am just glad that you are here. You have brought a lot of joy to not only myself and your mom, but so many others as well. And I am sure that as you grow older, you will continue to do this as well.

Always remember be true to yourself, family comes first first and that no matter what, you are loved more than you will ever know.

We love you,

Mom & Dad

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My grandfather, the boys Great Grand Father and I were talking about how when he and my grandmother were married, it cost him $3.00. And then he was telling me stories about his time in WWII and coming back to North Carolina and buying a farm. And then a year later, my father was born.

These are stories that I will treasure forever and I only hope that my boys are old enough to really get to know my grand father. You see, he and I talk almost every Saturday, no matter what. We talk about his father, my great great grand father and what he was like. My grand father also talks about his mom, my great great grand mother, who I only vaguely remember, as she died when I was 5 and the pranks that he would pull on her. And then my grand father always likes to do two things on each call, 1) tell me stories about my father when he was a child and 2) give me some words of wisdom about raising my sons. Today, he shared with me that he had prayed that I have a son, but that he guessed that he over prayed since we had twins.

Every time you put those boys in my grand father’s arms, he lights up.  And even though he only sees them once every few months, he makes the most of his time with them. He talks to them as though they are my age. He tells them stories about what I was like as a child. He tells them about his wife who passed away several years ago, as he wants to make sure that they know who she was. He walks them around the house and shows them pictures, tells them stories and loves watching them smile.

I know that I have only a few years left of these Saturday calls, so I hope to get as much information from my grand father, because this is my heritage and my son’s heritage. The story about being married for $3.00 to my grand mother, I was the only one that he ever told that story to. These are the stories that I can’t wait to tell my sons when they get older.

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My wife and have been discussing the boys birthday party for a while now and I think that we have finally come to a decision on what we are going to do. Something that my wife and I have discussed numerous times, is that we want the boys to be raised that they realize that there are people less fortunate than they are and to appreciate what they have.  So, when we were talking about what we were going to do for the boys party, it was a no brainer, instead of gifts, we wanted donations made to the Children’s Hospital that the boys were born.

We were lucky, that even though the NICU doctors came and talked with my wife and I the night before the boys were born. They were just letting us know that NICU doctors would be in the delivery room, just in case and that the boys might have to spend time in the NICU. We were very lucky, because the doctors were there for about 5 minutes and checked the boys out and said that the boys were healthy enough that they didn’t need to be in the NICU. So many babies are not as fortunate. It was just the start of our many blessings that we have received with this boys.

Our goal is to raise at least $2,000 for the Children’s Hospital, if not more.  The money will help other children and families that are staying at the local hospital and make their stay a little easier. But my wife and I are going to also make a $300 donation in honor of our boys as well. We are doing this so that the boys will always know where they were born and where they spent the first 5 days of their life. I know that our boys will not remember their 1st birthday, but my hope, is that as they grow older and we share with them these stories, that they too will want to help others, others that are not as fortunate as they are are.

So what are you doing for your child’s birthday party? Are they getting gifts? Or are you encouraging them to give to others?

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